I know this is a little late, but I wrote a tribute for George Carlin for my radio show last week, and I thought I'd share, there are alot of funny quotes from his stand-up comedy in here.
Geoge Carlin, who had a history of heart trouble, went into St. John's Health Center in Santa Monica on Sunday afternoon complaining of chest pain. A few hours later he was dead at the age of 71. His last concert was this past weekend, at the Orleans casino in Las Vegas. It would be hard to understate how much George Carlin meant to stand up comedy. He, Lenny Bruce and Richard Pryor pretty much defined what it could be. When they started, comedy basically consisted of one person bonking the other one with something, then fiddling with their bowtie. Carlin helped change all that.
His most famous routine "Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television" led to a key Supreme Court ruling on obscenity. He produced 23 comedy albums, 14 HBO specials, three books, a couple of TV shows and appeared in several movies, from his own comedy specials to "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure" in 1989 - a testament to his range from cerebral satire and cultural commentary to downright silliness (and sometimes hitting all points in one stroke)."Why do they lock gas station bathrooms?" he once mused. "Are they afraid someone will clean them?"
71 seems young to die. Although I guess it makes sense in this case because Carlin famously and unapologetically did tons of drugs and abused his body. 71 in Carlin years would be like 198 in normal years, so when you put it in context he had a pretty good run.
He is to be awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American Humour.
The John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts announced Tuesday it would honour Carlin for his 50-year career as a standup comedian, writer and actor.
Carlin, known for his black political humour was best-known in the '70s for a standup routine called Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television.
The schtick was an observation on language, poking fun at commonly used "dirty words." He was arrested in 1972 in Milwaukee and charged under obscenity laws, a charge that was later dropped; the FCC later rebuked a New York radio station for playing the routine on air.
Carlin makes people laugh but he also makes them think, Kennedy Center chairman Stephen Schwarzman said.
Carlin became known as a standup on the Ed Sullivan Show, with routines that included Al Sleet, the hippie-dippie weatherman, and a parody of stupid disc jockeys.
He also frequently took on the taboo subject of religion, as well as murder, genocide and natural disasters. His fame spread because of a series of recordings of his routines, which often couldn't be broadcast.
In 1975, Carlin became the first host of Saturday Night Live.
Carlin was also the narrator of the U.S. version of Thomas the Tank Engine & Friends from 1991 to 1998. He appeared in the film Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, and had a 1993 TV series on Fox that lasted 27 episodes.
In 2001, Carlin received a lifetime achievement award from the American Comedy Awards.
In a recent HBO special, It's Bad for Ya, he continues to dissect what he calls the "bulls---t" that surrounds ordinary Americans.
"Americans don't question things anymore. Americans don't question things because everyone is fat and happy," he said.
George Carlin, from all of us here at 101.5, namely me, I salute you and your comedy. Rest In Peace, you're up there with the best.
Some of his best work
-Always do whatever's next.
-At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.
-Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
-By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
-Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
-Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
-Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.
-Electricity is really just organized lightning.
-Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
-Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
-Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
-"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
-I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories.
-I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work.
-I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam.
-I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
-I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
-I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.
-I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
-I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect.
-If God had intended us not to masturbate he would've made our arms shorter.
-If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
-If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.
-If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
-In comic strips, the person on the right always speaks first.
-Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
-Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
-May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
-Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
-Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
-One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.
-One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
-People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.
-Religion is just mind control.
-Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.
-Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.
-The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
-The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.
-The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- The status quo sucks.
-The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.
-There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
-There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.
-Think off-center.
-Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
-Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?
-What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?
-When someone is impatient and says, "I haven't got all day," I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?
-When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.
-When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.
-When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
-You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.
-You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.