I think February is the time of year when I feel like all the s h i t is coming down on me in in smelly brown heaps.

I really don't feel like being in university right now.

I have been doing a lot of thinking about my future lately. I don't know if I want to go to university. I don't know if I want to not go to university. (Oh yes, such wonderful conclusion. I should think more often lol).

I think I might take a year off after this half year of school. You know what I really want to do? I want to travel the world. I want to see Australia, South Africa, Morocco, Tibet, Russia, Italy, Germany, Ireland, Belize, Brazil, Chile, Peru, Mexico, Spain, Portugal, Egypt, Israel, Vietnam... yeah, I am totally going to shuttup now. But I love seeing things. I love thinking about the things I see. I love driving at night. I don't actually drive, but I like being passenger because I can think and see and not pay attention to the road. I want to get my license, though, and a cheap (but as environmentally friendly as possible!) car and drive across the US. Start in Upstate NewYork, drive to the East Coast hit up New York and Jersey, go south, go west, go north, see stuff. Take pictures. Meet people. Buy souvenirs. Enjoy life. I just want to live.

I was at a party last night, and a buddy asked me what I was going to do after highschool. I was like. I don't know and I hate it when people ask. But then he says that he understands, and goes on to say that whatever I did would be just fine, whether it's go to uni, go to college, don't go anywhere, doesn't matter. Whatever I do will be alright.

I was watching Gilmore Girls S3 special features, and one was of the cast talking about their growing up experiences. Most of them said that they were not teh best of students (even Kelly Bishop!). Look what they did. They became the stars of my favourite tv show. I don't want to act, but I don want to write. Maybe I'll write a book, because that's what I love. I don't like being trapped in a classroom.

If I spend my life working at bookstores or video rentals for a few months and then driving to the next small town, I'm so game. If I wait tables and bartend for a few weeks before backpacking to the next European city, I'm in. If I move to California and work at my dad's hot dog stand, that's cool. I just don't know what's for me. I think university would be amazing. But that's so much hard work that I'm not sure I'm really capable of. I don't want to start something until I'm ready. University is a big commitment, and if I do want to go, I want to make sure that I'm ready. I don't want to go, and then drop out after a year. No, I have to figure this out for me.

I have exactly 25 hours and 55 minutes to wait until it's time to watch SVU. Meanwhile, I've been driving myself nutty watching EO vidoes on Youtube. Frig. They have GOT to get together! It's killing me! FanFiction only does so much, and even the very best videos, however awesome they be, are mostly just fabulous scenes of shippyness taken completely out of context. It pains me.

But I can't stop. Because SVU is the greatest show ever still on the air. (Fingers crossed for the Gilmore movie. Best of luck, AS-P!)

Ohm'gaw. I just watched Rosemary's Baby. It is so ridiculous. Unspeakable. Unspeakable. I can't believe it was nominated for Best Screenplay Inspired by Another Medium. I can beleive Ruth Gordon got Dest Supporting Actress, though. She was so odd! Oh man. That movie, I swear. I never laughed so hard in my entire life! I'm so disappointed though. We don't see the baby. We don't evern see her stab the baby. She goes and joins All of Them Witches! Even after all they put her through! And Poor Hutch, made sure she got that book even after he died, and STILL she joins All of Them Witches! THAT'S what's unspeakable unspeakable. Gaw, Rosemary's an idiot. And Mia Farrow, really, not the greatest of actresses. She can do crazy/hysterical really well. Even normal is ok. But really sad parts or depressing or more serious parts. She sucks. Unspeakable unspeakable. Greatest worst movie ever.

This university that I really want to go to has a Bachelor of Humanities program, where you study history, relgion, language, arts, philosophy, etc. I want it so bad. I could do anything with that, anything of the fields of work I'm interested in. I'm so excited.

Except...

Only eighty people are accepted. So I REALLY have to step it up. I want it SO BAD.

Yesterday morning did not go well. I woke up on time, but too early if you catch my drift. (School should start at 930, end of story.) I was running a little late because when I'm tired I do that. Just 8:50, about the time I should be heading out the door, I hear an alarm. I was sure I turned mine off, but sometimes my alarm clock goes on the fritz. So in an effort to not wake up my sister and her husband, I beelined for my room to turn it off. Unfortunately, it was my brother-in-law's alarm clock, he sleeps in the nude, their door is usually open, and I have to walk past their room to get to mine. Needless to say, I saw more of my brother-in-law than necessary. So much more. Every effort to concentrate on school work was futile. One good thing has come of this: their door is always closed now. At least we were able to laugh it off, but still. It will be awhile before that image leaves my head.

Yeah, so in my last post I talked about my crappy day, right? Well, turns out that the movie I was supposed to go to was the next night, and I wasn't forgotten. I went to bed early for nothing!

I saw 3:10 to Yuma, which is a fantastic movie! I recommend it to people who like Westerns or Christian Bale. Oh, he's so good lookin'!

I have nothing very important to say today. I was watching Stalked from Season One of SVU. White is such a slimy creature. I hate him. He, Gitano, and Abraham from Charisma (S6) are my three picks for the creepiest, evilest villains of SVU. Mind you, I haven't seen a whole lot of episodes (missed seasons 2-4 and some of 5-7), but you gotta admit, those three guys are some scary shibits.

You know who I miss? I miss the humour of SVU. Season One, especially the pilot, is just so hilarious at times! "Colder thatn a witch's boob," best line ever! These later seasons have taken a much more serious tone. I wish they would funny it up a little more.

Anyway, that is all.

Yesterday, I went straight from school to work with very little lunch. I worked four hours and ate during the rest of my break. It rained. I was supposed to meet a friend after work. I waited over 20 minutes in the rain, and she never showed. Then I walked to the Stupidstore to pick up milk, where I saw my parents and they gave me a ride home which was lovely.

I got on the internet to find an email from my friend saying she could no longer make it and when she called work to let me know, we were already closed. We chatted on msn for awhile when my sister came on. I found out that there is a possibility that my parents and younger sisters could move to the US, as my dad has more-or-less been offered a job there. Meanwhile, my mom has just started school, and my sisters love their school and I'm not living with them. If they were to leave, what would I do? Seriously?!? For all intents and purposes I'm only living not at home until the end of January. If my parents decided together that it is best to go to the US before then, what am I to do??

Anyways, after that disgusting blow, a friend comes on and we makes plans to go see a movie with some other friends. I give him my address but he never shows. And that just made the whole day, which was already bad enough, very very sucko.

About an hour after that I gave up and went to bed.

I feel that God is partly to blame for this mess. Just partly.

Oh boy, do I have some rants today!

So in my first post I said somethign about emailing my premier (a governor, but in Canada) that keeping the official drinking age at 19 was against my rights as a member of the legal majority of Ontario. Well, he sent me an email back (a form letter, no doubt) saying blah blah abouthow he understands my (very very valid) arguments, but he thinks our provincial drinking age is just fine where it's at. Did he not read my bloody email? Did he miss the part about my RIGHTS being VIOLATED?? WHAT A MAROON. Now I have no idea of who to vote for! Do I stick with my liberal beliefs and vote him in again, or do I do the unthinkable and vote CONSERVATIVE. (Because really, a vote for NDP or Green is really a vote wasted.) A dilemma.

Also, I am approaching the fourth day of school and I STILL have no locker. Meantime I have to figure out some way to lug around my binders, pens, and eleven (count 'em, E-L-E-V-E-N) various texts, plays, and novels to each and every cla$$ with no food break in between. I am goin to wither away with all this excercise and no nourishment. This is preposterous, I tell you. PRE-POSTEROUS.

Frikkin' shibit.

On the plus side, I don't live with my parents any more, and so I know longer have Mickey Mice staring at me from around the room. Woot woot! AND I have an Xbox for which to waste my time, if the homework lets up.

Oh yeah, I have the best cla$$es ever. The order, however, leaves a little to be desired. My five-period day is as follows: Writer's Craft, Literature, Cla$$ical Civilizations, World Issues, Lunch. That's right. Period Five of Five, Lunch. And not one cla$$ with my friend. STUPID.

However, since I have lunch every day at 1:35, I can go home early. Or, as the case may be, pick up extra hours at work that would normally never be considered. How wicked is it that I can run straight from school to work in 5 minutes or less, and then walk home in about 15 minutes? Pretty wicked.

Ten years since Princess Di died. I couldn't tell you where I was that day. But I remember that we had a foreign exchange student from Taiwan visit us a few months later and she asked to see the special section of the paper that we saved. She was staying with my BFF's grandparents for a few months. I wonder how she is? Anyway, the world lost two beautiful souls in the span of six days because Mother Teresa died that many days later. It's all very sad indeed.

Oh man. I missed it. The cast of Heroes was in the T-Dot, and I missed it!!! Mr. Beautiful Ventimiglia, will you ever forgive me? I know 'll never forgive myself, that's for sure. They better come next year to promote Season Three, because then I will so be there.

There ain't nothin' like curling up on the couch with a glass of Welsch's White Grape Juice while watching a Season One episode Law & Order: SVU on a chilly summer evening, so methinks me's gonna go do that now.

Except I have to comment on the stupidness that forbids be from using the word 'cla$$' in any blog post. STUPID. Note: '$$' equals 'ss'.