Hey there fellow Journaler's and Happy New Year to ya! We've got one helluva fight coming up for ya so go get yourself a cold one, some snacks and just sit right back as we break down the match for ya. Oh and be sure to send the kids to bed early, because this battle is liable to have your blood boiling folks.
Obligatory color commentator Jim is here to help me give ya the breakdown, and we're looking at one helluva battle aren't we Jim?
That's right Mike and as sure as our commercial break will talk about Don King's hair products for men we can expect a no holds barred blood fest tonight.
Alright folks click the link and stayed tuned as its the Bellowing Yellow Not So Mellow Fellow against the Cherry Jonestown Knockdown! Stay with us.
Vs. 
Hello everyone and we are back here at Anthromorph Arena in Vegas just moments away from ring time. So Jim, what did you think of Don King's new product line?
I gotta say I'm impressed Mike. The man is a genius. Who would ever think to add 20,000 volts of electricity to a normal Pantene ProV shampoo and conditioning cycle?
Think we can still get in on the stock for that one Jim?
Haha no Mike I believe its too late for us there. But what we aren't too late for is the match you folks are about to see, PacMan and Koolaid Pitcher.
That's right folks you are in for a treat tonight. Two fighters in the prime of their lives and almost pound for pound physically identical. Both are squat wide berthed fighters with Koolaid Pitcher having a slight advantage in girth and PacMan having the advantage in cushy roundness. With identical arm spans, I gotta ask ya Jim, where is this fight going to come down to?
Well Mike you know how they say fighting is 90% mental and 10% physical?
I don't know Jim, I'm not a doctor.
Well doesn't matter because they were wrong anyways. Its actually closer to 85% mental and 15% physical.
Good to know Jim! That's A+ material for a paper on prize fighting if I were still in grade school.
Or if the kiddies were still watching. Congrats on the GED by the way.
Thanks Jim.
My point here folks is that this match is about that 85%. Its mental. Its going to be physical and brutal, but in a mental way. Those of you who have taken the bar exam know what I mean. For the rest of our viewers, those of you sitting at a bar knowing you are picking up your alchy buddy's tab know what I mean. What you are going to see here tonight is two fighters with histories. Histories of their own and histories of hatred. Our first fighter, PacMan is a raving psychotic both inside and outside the ring.
Whoa there, you think Ms. PacMan would appreciate your compliments about her hubby?
That is precisely my point here. Have you ever seen PacMan with his wife?
No Jim, can't say that I have.
That's because there is no wife. Folks, Ms. PacMan IS PacMan. What you are going to see in the ring tonight is a tranny fighting for his and her life. PacMan has suffered from delusions where he has believed he was both himself and his wife for a long time folks, and this split personality was brought on in no small part by the small doses of LSD we found laced into every pellet he ate while he worked. For the people at home, have you ever seen the high scores PacMan would turn out eating those pellets in the 70's and 80's? One point per pellet and we would routinely see scores over 40,000. That's a lot of LSD folks. The bottom line is due to that, increasing gambling debts and a turbulent childhood brought on by molestation from both Mr. AND Mrs. Happy face, the fighter you see in the ring tonight is not just a broken man financially, but literally a raving schizophrenic tranny who is out for KoolAid's blood.
Heavy stuff Jim.
He's a heavy guy. And those ten years spent at Arkam Mental Health Institute, which doubles as a maximum security prison, they didn't lighten the load any folks. What we also know about PacMan's psychology is that all throughout his life running those mazes, eating those pellets, dabbling in a little bit of homosexuality here and there when he'd eat a fruit, is that everywhere PacMan went, he saw ghosts. This is the god damned real life 6th sense here folks. And if you lived your entire life seeing ghosts chasing you everywhere you turned, you wouldn't be yellow, you'd be white. That's gotta leave a mark on your psyche, and no doubt its going to show tonight. Koolaid Mike?
No thanks Jim. You know only a heavy dose of scotch gets me through these broadcasts. Folks Koolaid Pitcher's story is equally sordid. Our anthropomorphic buddy has braved the Vietnam jungles only to find himself in Brazilian ones later during a career dry spell. While in Vietnam he told us time and again that it was just his cherry, watermelon and sometimes passion fruited heart--along with some iodine tablets--which got him through the war. Later in Brazil he found himself working in demolitions smashing down walls in sparse villages for capitalist deforestation ventures and military junta reeducation purposes, many of which went hand in hand. The kiddies seemed to like the drink and watching buildings fall. Till they realized they were their homes. Then not so happy. All that left his already tarnished reputation blemished and his very much scratched body nicked. That is when our marred and battered fighter hit rock bottom. And got badly raked as result. Jim Koolaid Pitcher found himself in a world spiraling outta control, and ending in Guyana.
The Koolaid Overdose?
That's right Jim! Since then Koolaid has spent his time taking out his anger by smashing through walls in the form of other opponents and slipping them a little Koolaid once in a while when he does lose a fight. Though a hole in the shape of Koolaid Pitcher was found in a wall at each corpse's residence, as well as a size 16GGG foot print matching his own, glass shavings and cyanide laced Koolaid, Koolaid Pitcher has been cleared of each of these twelve incidental charges. He has not however, by any means discouraged his image as a ruthless assassin in the ring, out for blood, and to give the kiddies a sweet treat that's fun to drink in the summer time.
Oh and here comes PacMan now Mike, just as I suspected, removing the wig and lipstick on his way down to the ring.
That's right Jim and now entering the arena through a wall next to his entrance is Koolaid Pitcher.
Its gonna be one helluva match fight fans!
Andrew Marks, a level 2 human with slightly above average intelligence, but sharply below average charisma, strength, dexterity, and any chance of getting laid by a girl sat limply in his chair when his mother found him. His level 62 character with near godly stats stood on the monitor checking his fake watch, mocking Andrew for not having taken any action for several minutes now. Andrew’s mother promptly rebooted the computer and removed Andrew’s hand from the mouse as if never to be clicked again. The game’s progress since Andrew had last logged in was not saved. He had everdosed on Evercrack.
Andrew’s mother, while still shaken, has found new life and purpose in Andrew’s death. "It is quite clear who is to blame for this" she states with fire in her eyes. "The game", she says. "The game", she repeats. "The gryphon", she loses us. "The Gryphon of Rhondor who failed to meet up with my son when he turned level 62 and agreed to give him safe passage through Moretania so that he may destroy the dragons of Algafos! They are who we must blame!" With that Andrew's mother, 58, with well above average charisma for a woman her age, god-like stats in all other areas due to her anger, and slightly above average blood pressure took a firm grip on the mouse and loaded Everquest II to what we can only assume is finish her son's business with the gryphon of Rhondor and the dragons of Algafos once and for all.
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