Back from a week-long wedding vacation over to the hick part of the East Coast, I can safely say that Washington D.C. is the MOST ANNOYING CITY YOU HAVE TO SEE. I've gone there 3 times now, but this is the first time I ever visited the surrounding area. Let me explain.

Now that I'm of college-searching age, I was sent off to go to Georgetown and American Universities to pretend like I'm considering going there. I don't know if anybody around Gamespot knows where Tyson's Corner in Virginia is, but I was staying at the Marriott there, and you know why the #1 bad thing about D.C. is the traffic.

For those who don't know, DC has maybe the poorest-drawn intersections in the country. Tyson's Corner is bordered by a road called Leesburg Pike. This road was so bad in terms of traffic, confusion, and general inaccessibility, we hiked 2 miles to get to a house just to avoid the damn road.

The road has a main area, which is basically a highway except with stoplights and terrible drivers. Making a wrong turn would mean going miles out of your direction, and turning right often involves a service road. It's just crap.

Second, is the traffic around Georgetown. There was an intersection there by Chain Bridge that had-no kidding- 8 lanes merging into one on a traffic light. There were 4 roads merging into one. Each green light about one car would get through because of all of the bad drivers. It took us 30 minutes just to get away from the road.

Also, there's the landmark crap. When you've been searched twice in one day just to see something you've seen before, it's a bad day. See it once. And never again.

Another great Saturday of college football is over. That's a shame. After my completely botched simulated Friday night game, the top 25 went beserk. #7 Michigan beaten by Ty "Just Die (already)" Willingham and the Fighting Irish, Ohio State needed a 54-yard figgie to win their game, #13 Kansas State was romped by Fresno State, #18/10 Clemson was beaten by "I thought they only played basketball" Georgia Tech, #25 Oregon was beating by Indiana, and Arkansas was one lost fumble from beating #6 Texas.

Yeesh, I wish it wasn't over.

But the best thing about this Saturday, I didn't have to do any mowing.

That is all.

...what, you wanted a point to this post?

With the big game just 2 hours away, I decided to have a little fun and play FSU vs. Miami in NCAA, me just watching, and the results reminded me of just about every other close FSU-Miami game in recent memory. Here we go.

The game started out pretty normally, the Orange Bowl going crazy. FSU takes the kickoff and drives down the field, no problem, touchdown, TD pass from Chris Rix. 7-0 Florida State.

Then it started going weird. On Miami's drive, Brock Berlin throws his required INT. Next play, the Florida State running back fumbles...and it flies ahead 20 yards to the Miami 2, where Sean Taylor's replacement safety falls on it. Miami ball at the 2, with big risk of a safety.

But no, the Miami tailback runs up the middle, breaks a tackle, and is GONE. 98 yards to the house, longest run in Miami history. 7-7, and the first quarter is over thanks to the fact that FSU took up 4:29 on their first drive.

Through the bulk of the rest of the game, the Ds become non-existant. At the 2:30 mark in the 4th quarter, it's 35-35, all drives ending up with TDs. Rix is having a career day with 4 TD passes, 410 yards, no interceptions. Brock Berlin suprised everyone by not throwing another pick in the game. 3 TDs and 280 yards.

Here we go, 2:30 left, Florida State has the ball at their own 6 after a kickoff that made the computer catch the ball with one foot out of bounds. Chris Rix starts with 2 incomplete passes, nails one for 30 yards, down to the 37 with the clock ticking, 2:10. They snap the ball as the clock starts again (since they stop it with a first down), and try to suprise everyone with a draw. It didn't work. 2 yards, and it starts the clock. Even worse, Chris Rix was hit hard as he handed off on the draw, so it takes him about 20 seconds to get up on the no-huddle. Down to 1:53, it's a complete short pass for 6 yards, clock ticking as the receiver goes down just before going out of bounds. 1:42, Rix is sacked. 1:29, no time outs, gotta get the first down on 4th down. It's a no-huddle...bootleg! Rix rushes for 16 yards, out of bounds, 1:20 left in Miami territory. After a series of 3 runs up the middle for 10 yards, there's 1 minute left on the clock, and they're in long field goal range. Rix chucks one into the end zone, incomplete. Rix heaves another one over the middle, and it's dropped. The next play, Rix tosses it back to the tailback...and it's a pass! The tailback throws it to the wide receiver, who catches one for 19 yards, over the middle, first down, 39 seconds left. After 3 incomplete passes, with 25 seconds to go, it's time to try the game-winning field goal. For those who have watched College Football before, you probably know what's coming.

The field goal team lines up...here comes the snap...the kick...and it's GOOD!

Florida State knocks down a few long passes before getting the ball on downs and running out the clock.

I guess you could call this game...

Right Down the Middle I

Yesterday I heard new token ESPN dumbass Sean Salisbury insist Tom Brady is as good as Joe Montana. Looks like SOMEONE was living in his parents' basement in the 80s. Back to the topic at hand.

Anyway, after a 4-sack night for my star Cal DT Lorenzo Alexander, he's all of a sudden on the Heisman deaft board, #4 behind Kansas State running back Darren Sproles, Miami's corner Antrel Rolle (4 INTs in 2 games will do that), and Florida State QB Chris Rix.

So the next week, after ANOTHER 4-sack night, (keep in mind, I've played 3 games and I have 10 sacks, 4 forced fumbles from facing Air Force, and 3 fumble recoveries) Lorenzo Alexander is arrested for DUI, and I have to suspend him for 8 games. He comes back for the last game, gets 2 sacks, and wins the award for best defensive lineman.

I feel sorry for the guy who got 19 sacks on Texas.

This is quite enough. First, everyone blames Peyton Manning for the Colts playoff losses over the last few years, which is understandable. Then every starts with the monkey (on his back) business, even continuing through his two dominant games against the Ponies and the Chefs. But, blaming Peyton for this loss against the Pats? This is just about a certified scapegoating.

He goes out and has a great game, the Indy offense romping the New England defense, his only flaw being a diving interception by Teddy Bruschi after his right tackle lets Eugene Wilson fly by at him like a Perigrine Falcon. Edgerrin James, however, ruins two great drives by fumbling in the red zone twice, once at the freakin' one yard line. The points they would have made, at least 2 figgies and probably more like 2 TDs would have won the game for the Colts handedly.

But NO! People are actually blaming Peyton and his 250 yard, 2 TD game on this loss, instead of obvious choker Edgerrin James, and possible other scapegoat Mike Vanderjagt, whose field goal was really quite tough anyway.

Peyton might have all this time been playing on a choke team, instead of choking himself.

After checking the real rosters for the upcoming game against New Mexico State, I decided to look at Cal and see if anyone on Cal went to my High School so I can brag and root for somebody. Well, I got something bigger, and I never put two and two together when I watched him last year and last week against Air Force.

Burl Toler, #10 on Cal, #2 wide receiver, was my freakin neighbor. I grew up in El Sobrante, California, a little pissant town about 10 miles from Oakland. 20,000 people, and not only is a prominant Cal player from there, but he lived 7 doors down from me in my condo complex. I remember him talking somewhat oddly, which he's gotten rid of, and we used to call him "Phoenix" because...well I don't remember why. We used to ride bikes around there, and he was great friends with my brother, they went to Junior High at Juan Crespi back then.

So, Burl Toler has taken the #1 spot on my WR depth chart for no reason. "BED-WED TED!" chants echo through Berkeley, as they protest my obvious bias. Luckily since McArthur graduated, it's not a big deal.

It's just, you know, now the campus hates me. Deal with it, I got you the Axe.

I've guided Cal to an 11-1 season with my only loss coming from USC, who ended up with 9 wins. So, I'm expecting that since I was #2 nationally and the #1 team lost their conference championship in the big 12 (Kansas State, against #18 OU), I was in. But NO! The BCS leaves me out of the National Championship game and it's on the cover of SI, "CONTROVERSY! California left out of Championship game by computer rankings" Someone down there in SoCal is laughing at me right now.