Yesterday I heard new token ESPN dumbass Sean Salisbury insist Tom Brady is as good as Joe Montana. Looks like SOMEONE was living in his parents' basement in the 80s. Back to the topic at hand.

Anyway, after a 4-sack night for my star Cal DT Lorenzo Alexander, he's all of a sudden on the Heisman deaft board, #4 behind Kansas State running back Darren Sproles, Miami's corner Antrel Rolle (4 INTs in 2 games will do that), and Florida State QB Chris Rix.

So the next week, after ANOTHER 4-sack night, (keep in mind, I've played 3 games and I have 10 sacks, 4 forced fumbles from facing Air Force, and 3 fumble recoveries) Lorenzo Alexander is arrested for DUI, and I have to suspend him for 8 games. He comes back for the last game, gets 2 sacks, and wins the award for best defensive lineman.

I feel sorry for the guy who got 19 sacks on Texas.