I really do suck...

I haven't been doing much of anything lately...Which is so unlike me, usually I'm so busy. I've just been so....depressed and "down", unable to even have energy. I've put on some pounds, which does NOT make me happy, considering I worked so hard and went down some sizes...So now everything's tight as hell and I feel like a fat-ass. I think it's because of winter keeping me inside and making me feel like crap.

I also have been having an insatiable appetite lately, and I don't get why. Normally food was always the last thing on my mind, which was one of the reasons I got so thin so quick. Now, at times, it's all I think about. Eat. Eat. Eat. WTF? Again, must be a winter thing...Still, Christ, winter is almost over, so I hope to God this ends soon.

I've always loved peanut butter...But I've had an unstoppable craving for it lately. It will pop into my brain late at night, and the mere smell or look of it will make my mouth water. Especially the extra-crunchy kind with huge f*cking peanuts in it...Uggg! Good thing I ate all of it, and there isn't any more in the house to snack on, or guess what I'd be doing right now.... >_>

BTW, was going to get some stuff done tonight, exercise, jog, ect...But got so tired and "ran out of gas", slept on the couch...And now, after this, I'm going straight to bed. Even my animals have been suffering as they haven't been getting their routine care, like grooming and the like...I feel so horrible, but I just can't GET MY FAT ASS IN GEAR...

I think I have Seasonal Affective Disorder...AKA, lazy-ass slob disease. I hope to God I can get out of it. Until then, guys...I'm trying, I really am. Please don't think I'm doing this on purpose...I'll be back, trust me.

Ug....peanut butter...