Some say the end is near
Some say we'll see armageddon soon
I certainly hope we will
I sure could use a vacation from this
Bull-**** three ring circus sideshow of
Freaks here in this hopeless ****ing hole we call LA
The only way to fix it is to flush it all away
Any ****ing time
Any ****ing day
Learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona Bay

Fret for your figure and
Fret for your latte and
Fret for your lawsuit and
Fret for your hairpiece and
Fret for your prozac and
Fret for your pilot and
Fret for your contract and
Fret for your car
It's a bull-**** three ring circus sideshow of
Freaks here in this hopeless ****ing hole we call LA
The only way to fix it is to flush it all away
Any ****ing time
Any ****ing day
Learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona Bay

Some say a comet will fall from the sky
Followed my meteor showers and tidal waves
Followed by faultlines that cannot sit still
Followed by millions of dumbfounded dip****s who
Some say the end is near
Some say we'll see armageddon soon
I certainly hope we will
I sure could use a vacation from this
Stupid ****, silly ****, stupid ****
One great big festering neon distraction
I've a suggestion to keep you all occupied
Learn to swim, learn to swim, learn to swim
Mom's gonna fix it all soon
Mom's comin' round to put it back the way it oughta be

Learn to swim, learn to swim... (in background throughout)
**** L Ron Hubbard and **** all his clones
**** all these gun-toting hip gangster wannabes
(Learn to swim, learn to swim...)
**** retro anything, **** your tattoos
**** all you junkies and **** your short memory
(Learn to swim, learn to swim...)
**** smiley glad-hands with hidden agendas
**** these dysfunctional, insecure actresses
(Learn to swim, learn to swim...)
'Cuz I'm prayin' for rain
And I'm prayin' for tidal waves
I wanna see the ground give way
I wanna watch it all go down
Mom please flush it all away
I wanna see it go right in and down
I wanna watch it go right in
Watch you flush it all away

Time to bring it down again
Don't just call me pessimist
Try and read between the lines
I can't imagine why you wouldn't
Welcome any change, my friend
I wanna see it come down
Suck it down, suck it down
Flush it down