I was out at a pub last night with a friend. Lately, the potential legalization of marijuana and the potential elimination of home mail delivery are subjects that we like to discuss, and last night, I suggested - as a joke - that Canada Post should sell and distribute marijuana, legally, across Canada.

You see, Canada Post is a "Crown Corporation", which means, essentially, that it is a branch of the government that is expected to be self-sustaining (ie no regular injections of tax dollars). For the past few years, Canada Post has been losing money, due the the incompetence and avarice of those who run it. The best way to fix this problem would be to purge the administration of the useless, greedy bastards and put some decent people in charge. However, this is a government organization; asking that they be governed responsibly is like asking a lion to go vegan. So instead of doing the smart thing, Canada Post is contemplating the elimination of home mail delivery. Instead, there would be a drop location every couple of blocks, where everyone in the neighbourhood could go to collect their mail.

No. Just, no. Granted, the proposed alternative would seem reasonable, if it weren't for the benefit of a bunch of *ssholes who just don't want to do their jobs properly. It would make Canada the first developed country in the world to eliminate home mail delivery, which is simply absurd.

So, if firing morons is out of the question and eliminating services is unacceptable, that means that Canada Post needs additional revenue, and there's only so far you can hike up the price of stamps before driving away all of your customers. It seems to me that the only option is to diversify.

Before I really get into this, I should clarify that I don't approve of recreational drug use (although I do approve of alcohol - call me a hypocrite if you must). I also don't approve of the way that Canada Post is run, but clearly the world doesn't need my approval. My point is that if Canada Post must have additional revenue, and if marijuana must be legalized, then this would be the best way of going about both. Yes, I first suggested it as a joke, but the more I think about it, the more I realize that it just makes sense for Canada Post to sell drugs.

Point #1: Regulation. They're a government agency; they know exactly where you live. 'Nuff said.

Point #2: Distribution. They already have the trucks and warehouses to move marijuana from the pot plantations of British Columbia to the heart of every major city and rural town in Canada. They have offices in every shopping complex. The post offices even have finely-tuned scales for weighing packages - they could easily be used for weighing out and selling marijuana.

Point #3: Public Safety. If pot-heads can have marijuana delivered to their door, that means that they're less likely to try driving while under the influence. It means that they don't have to go to shady places and deal with shady people. It just makes the whole thing a lot safer for both the user and the general public.

I could keep going, but I'm too depressed by the fact that I live in a world in which what I'm saying actually makes sense. F*ck you, Canada Post. You're killing my faith in humanity.