On July 6th, my mother was over, because I was supposed to go to a portfolio workshop that I had joined. However, my writer called me and told me that she wouldn't be there, because she was feeling ill... Well, that was fine and dandy, so I cancelled it off, and ended up having an improptu dinner party with her and my daughter. However, while waiting for the pizza I had ordered, my mom noticed that our cat (CJ) was walking with a limp... I took a look, and he was indeed walking strangely.
To you cat owners out there, if you've ever moved when you had a cat, you know how they walk.. kind of hunched over, real low to the ground, very scared-like. That's how he was walking. Prior that day, he had thrown up some of his food once, and the night before, he had attacked a ribbon off of one of my daughters' gift bags (a red one, Elmo one...) so that morning, I had found two thrown up pieces of ribbon, no big deal - he's done it plenty of times before...
Anyways, he was walking funny - scared like. I thought nothing of it at first, because my daughter immediately took after him, yelling "KITTY!" like usual... so he bolts back downstairs to the basement like usual.
My wife comes home, and wants to give me my birthday gift. So, okay, I say fine (since I'm working on my actual birthday...) and she presents me with a brand spankin new Xbox with Halo 2. Happiest moment of my life. Then the cat shows up, and his "limp" has gone to a full lameness of the back legs. He's dragging one of his legs, and he really looks like he's in pain.
We both flip out. I knew he was walking scared-like, but later that evening - he was hurting..... bad. So we find a 24 hour animal hospital, call back over my mom to babysit (since anyone else local decided that they wouldn't help us... naturally - see the blog post two down.) and head out.
We get there, and they shoot some x-rays on him... Turns out, nothing is broken, but he has an enlarged heart - about 30% over normal. Apparently cats are susceptible to heart disease. He may have passed a blood clot, in the back part of his body, however, they can't give us a definitive answer. It could be a blood clot, it could be arthritic, it could be an orthopaedic injury - the doctor was saying that he had torn (ruptured, in their words) the ligament that attaches his right kneecap to his femur and all that. Problem was, was that when she was feeling it, he didn't meow, he didn't screech, he was silent. Apparently, that didn't hurt him. (mind you, this knee surgery that he may or may not have needed, would have cost us about 2000.00, which you'll see why we didn't do it, later in the story)
So, we take him home, attempt to feed him dinner, which he takes about two or three bites, and leaves the rest alone, so then we give him a painkiller for his knee that the doc prescribed. We grab him, head to bed for the night. We put a gate up at the top of the steps, so he can't get down, bring up his food and water dishes, and a big velour blanket that we have, for him to sleep on.
Of course, throughout the night, he vomits up the painkiller, as well as the three bites of food he had. And he manages to make it downstairs to, get this, sleep by my daughter's bedroom door, as was his usual place (Protector of the baby...).
We awaken at the usual time, on July 7th, and head downstairs to get Kaylee up, and going. CJ is is a very bad way this morning. He has a serious gait to his walk, his right leg is about immobile.... We come to the conclusion, that he was apparently in the process of passing a blood clot, because he just couldn't walk.... He would force himself to move. He had to lay down on the floor, to drink from his water dish. Then he forced himself to go downstairs in the basement, and lay in a corner, that was hidden. Needless to say, the minute he got downstairs, he threw up all the water he just drank.
My wife and I are feeling absolutely terrible right now. We know what we have to do - but how can you call and maintain your composure on the phone, when you're asking about killing a family member??? We decided to take him to the veterinarian where he had been checked up when he was born, where we got him declawed (front) and neutered, so we make an appointment for 1:10PM. (The **** on the phone was saying "I have a 11:40, 1:10, 1:30..." and so on - and I was aghast - "You mean what time do I want to kill my cat???" WTF?? How about being a little more compassionate lady...)
So the wife, daughter and I head into the basement, and just take our time, rubbing him, loving him up.... He's purring up a storm, but looks completely uncomfortable. We decided that his last few hours should be spent with us.. his family. We weren't going to leave him down there by himself.
The time comes. Shaunna (my wife) goes upstairs to get dressed, and I take Kaylee (my daughter) up to get her shoes on, since we have to take her with us.... nobody said they would babysit her... go figure. (again, see second down post...) I'm already dressed, and I go back downstairs to get CJ. He's laying in the corner, as tightly curled up as he could get, with his eyes closed... barely breathing. I thought for sure, he was gone already. But then he looked up at me, seriously groggy. I gather him up, wrap him in a blanket of ours (small one) and put him in the kitty carrier.
Needless to say, the rest of it is history. We took him to the veterinarian, and put him to sleep.
Don't ever let anyone tell you it isn't a hard thing to do. If you've never been in the room, when they inject the animal.... Nobody can explain how it feels to have your heart torn out. Literally torn out from your body.
Folks, it was the absolutely most painful thing I have ever had to do. The vet was good enough to give us some time before the injection, and afterwards. Both my wife and I are sobbing, and my daughter's saying "Bye Bye Kitty" while giving him little kisses and hugs....
CJ was just laying there, on the table, like he was trying to find a more comfortable position. And he was doing what's called "Posturing", which is when you have a blood clot, and it blocks off a certain side of your body, your head moves to the opposite side, and you have a tic.... When the doctor came in finally to examine him real quick, he was laying prone on the table, with his front paws and his head hanging over the side. and even after she left the room to go get the shot ready - he didn't move.
When you see that life force end, your whole world turns around.... CJ was my wife and I's first "baby" more or less. He was a gift to each other, after we got engaged. We had him since he was a 19 week old kitten. I loved the hell out of that cat, and so did my wife. Even as I write this, I'm crying, two days later. It takes a lot to get me to cry.... but the emotions I'm feeling, shouldn't have to be felt by anyone.
So for my birthday, I got to put a family member to sleep. It's the story of my life. X what??? Halo what??? It doesn't even matter anymore. Frankly, I'd give it all back, if I could, to get my cat back.
And to the naysayers who say "What's the big deal? It was only a cat?" I have two words..."F*** yourself."
All you pet owners out there... give your animal a big hug tonight. Because I won't be able to, anymore. And you never know when they're going to go. Because we sure as hell didn't. CJ was 8 and a half years old.
He was one of the brightest lights in our family. He acted like a dog, and would always be waiting at the door when one of us, or both, would come home from somewhere. He was excellent with Kaylee. She would get a little over-hyped with him, but he'd let her know. Usually a good swat on the hand, or head would tell her to back off... But whenever she went into a crying fit, whether it be because she hurt herself, or was just attitudy, he was there - every night, he would sit and meow while me or mama would read her, her bedtime story. He was absolutely perfect with her.
His favorite food was Sliced Beef In Gravy. He even would sit there and watch TV with me and/or the wife, sometimes.
He was also the cat who would turn on lights. He thought lightswitches were bugs, so he would jump up and hit them all the time. There was also a spot on the wall, from where I hit it with something, some chemical, and he also thought that was a bug. So he'd be jumping and pawing and jumping and pawing this spot, for almost ten minutes at a time.
He also had his favorite toys.... the first one was "Da Bird" which was some feathers on the end of a string, and they would "fly" around in circles when you moved the stick around... And he also had his favorite little toy, a stuffed mouse head, one that he received as a kitten, that he always played with... even when he was older. I kept those. They're in a safe right now. Same thing with a tuft of his fur.
There's plenty of other stuff about him, which will remain a secret for now. He was the life of the house, and Shaunna, Kaylee, and I will miss him, for the rest of our lives.
*raises glass* To CJ: may you have a good trip to that great big meadow in the sky... May you be playing with Mimie every day... May you be drinking the finest in water and/or milk... may you be eating that sweet beef every night. May you rest in peace Mama's lil Pumpkinbutt... We love you, and we're going to miss you down here.
SALUTE!
