There's no "delete profile" option. So, instead, I've just changed my login e-mail to an unknown collection of letters and symbols.

I just can't invest my time in a site I no longer trust. Sorry.

A girl posting her near-death experience (she got out fine, thankfully) reminded me that I'd never written my list of my thirteen "almost-died" experiences. It's one of those stories you tell about a month into the relationship with a girl or new friend, and I figure I've been flirting with this journal thing long enough to post serious life events. So, here's the post:

Glad you weren't hurt!

I've almost been killed 13 times... And now I'm really worried, cause 13 is an unlucky number... Maybe the next one's the one? Though, I suppose, if it was gonna happen, it would have been the accident where the number BECAME 13....

In case you're wondering, my thirteen were:

1. When I was born, one of my lungs collapsed and I was airlifted to a different hospital (great, my first helicopter ride and I don't remember it). I was in the new hospital for two months.

2. A sliding glass door almost fell on me as a baby.

3. Also as a baby, had chicken pox bad enough to be sent to the hospital (a little less than one month this time).

4. Stabbed in the face, 1/4 inch from my eye, by a dart. (I get extra credit because the dart was being held when it stabbed me, instead of thrown).

5. About 10 years old, My friend stole his parent's car and drove us into a house. I hadn't been wearing my seatbelt, and got thrown, but I only had some scratches on me.

6. Got bitten in the face by a dog while visiting my Grandma. I was told to stop crying to get my little cousin to stop crying. I hate him.

7. Drowned in my first time in the ocean and was resuscitated.

8. Got pushed off the jungle gym by my teacher. This was when they were surrounded by rocks instead of wood chips. Blacked out, woke up in the hospital. I suffered some sort of brain damage, but it didn't affect any part I use.... Hmm, that doesn't sound right....

9. An ironic twist, on my 13th birthday, a car drove into MY house, tossing glass and sharp sharp wood all around me. But, this time I didn't get even a scratch. In fact, no one got hurt because I was the only one in the house at the time. But, even the driver wasn't harmed (though he should have been).

10. Just before we moved to a "nicer" neighborhood, after getting through a horrible ordeal with having to declair bankruptcy, our house was shot through by some gang member who thought we were our next-door neighbors (that's what he told the police).

11. Learning to drive at 16, I flipped my Dad's car. My Dad went unconscious, but woke within a few (very long) seconds.

12. Kind of a stupid one (not that any of the previous ones portray me any better, especially #11), but, when setting up a pod for an explosion in our school play "Dracula", a big one went off, and I got trapped under a platform. A couple burns on my face and arm, a lot of smoke inhalation, and a special mention in the yearbook!

13. A friend trying to sort of commit suicide while on speed stabbed me in the chest with a medium-sized knife. I luckily went into shock instantly, and blacked out. I didn't really feel anything. I woke up a couple times in between, but I only remember waking up a week after it happened and seeing my Mom crying and being kissed by my Step-Dad. I was out in about a month after that, but it still hurt a lot longer than that.

So, yeah. If you were wondering what type of person keeps a rolling tabulation of the number of times they've been near death, it's the type of person that's been shot at, stabbed twice, blown up, bitten, and involved in several car crashes... And I'm only 21!

I am SO not looking forward to number 14....

So, my last post was about being drawn between Planescape:Torment and World of Warcraft. But, I later realized I had forgotten to mention my poor puppy PS2, who keeps wining and drawing me back to playing with him. I've still got Prince of Persia: WW and Bard's Tale, neither of which I've finished (but I want to), and Star Ocean: Til the End of Time, which I haven't finished (but probably won't .... man, Bethany was so right about that game).

So, I'm clearly being drawn to the breaking point between all of these, right? Well, I added another game to the mix. I really can't rationalize it, because I know I don't have time to be playing all these. But, I can't stop myself. I needed another scary game (after finishing Silent Hill 4 a couple months ago), so I picked up Fatal Frame II a couple days ago.

Now, I haven't stopped playing it. I have yet to go back to World of Warcraft (sketchy internet troubles). And Fatal Frame II has pretty much absorbed my life right now. What's great is it inspired me to do this scary documentary I've been wanting to do for my film class, about how I think the school library is haunted. It sounds simple, but I really couldn't figure out how to handle it til I saw this game, so.. yeah!

I can't WAIT til Res. Evil 4 comes on the PS2! I bet I'll get a whole bunch of movie ideas from that!

Man.. I've opened up my addiction again... I need more scary games!!!

So, I'll be honest... I haven't been on here all that much because of World of Warcraft. I'm not gonna even bother writing about it, as I doubt there's anything I could say that hasn't already been written. I hated the idea of online games, now I'm an addict for this one... pretty much end of story. If you want to know, I've got an adorable little Gnome mage on "Lightning's Blade" and a kick-a** troll Shaman on "Darkblade" or something like that...

Also, after a lot of reminiscing, I've picked up PlaneScape: Torment again. This is a game that came out from Black Isle (guys that did Baldur's Gate I and II) in, like, the late 90's, and it just rocks my socks. One of my favorite top ten. You owe yourself the favor to go check it out. If you are into RPGs at ALL, go hit it up. So, I'm back in that world too.. I'm very into the PC right now. hehe.

Which is funny, because my graphics card is AWFUL. It barely runs a game that came out in the 90's, and WoW is almost a joke. My friends are all amazed it even works. Although it definitely does work, and is still AMAZING, it shows some flaws. I can't see any roads on my screen, only on the corner map. And, when inside and interior, I don't have any map at all. This gets kind of annoying when you're doing a quest with someone and they ask you to meet them near the back-end of the cavern... I usually just make them come meet me (which is its own luxury anyways).

So, haven't been here, or on my PS2, as much as I used to be... No big deal, but still...

So, for the XMas break, I'm back at my childhood home. And, as great as it is to see my family, and not being doing schoolwork, and to hang out with my friends, I do have one caveat.

My home still has a dial-up connection! Oh the shame.

Although it's a 56k modem, I'm lucky if I get 30. Just my Gamespot Profile page alone took 5 minutes to load. Oh, how it hurts me. I essentially just click on a link and walk away, go do something else, and come back later to see if it's done. It's the bane of my existance!!!

So, though I didn't especially do much of it before, I will be unable to make any frequent posts in this journal. What hurts more is that I won't be able to talk on the boards either.

So, I'm gonna be missing everyone for quite a while.... See you when I'm back in the present, instead of this stupid past where everything is 56k.

Howdy all!

This is my new journal picture thing. Giddieon did it for me (and did an awesome job, IMHO).

It's the same as my sig. Is that cool, or should I get a sig or journal thing that's different? I kinda like that they match, but, I'll admit, it'd be cool to have another one for another game.

Either way, this thing is awesome!

OMG! I'm level 10! If only it meant anything to anyone but me, like, if there was a prize attached or something. LIKE CANDY!

Actually, it does mean something to me, if I let myself admit it. It means I've finally spent time in one spot, found a groove that fits, managed to stumble into a sweet situation.

Thanks Gamespot, for giving us geeks a place to visit ... And, for some of us, a place to finally stay.

Jake.

Sorry this will be such a short post, I cut-off half my finger in the editing room and have stitches. So, it's a little hard to type...

Isn't it strange how you can sometimes start to crave a videogame? I was reading DJ_LAE's post about how he sometimes got this huge craving for BGII, and I was commenting about how I've been hit by the same craving before.

But, that got me to wondering ... Where does that come from, like psychologically? How is it that our brain ends up so hard-wired to video games that we can actually crave it, like one would crave food?

I find that, even outside of specific videogames, I often times get an insatiable urge to play if I've been away from videogaming for a while. So, it's not even that I'm just waxing nostalgic for a game from my past, but that I'm missing a certain interaction with gaming, in a sense missing gaming itself.

Where does this come from? Like my passion for movies, have I had it since birth? Is it a switch, like a red, green, blue or yellow circle with an exclamation point (MARIO REFERENCE)? A chemical switch that's only triggered by pretty colors and synced-up sounds?

What if it IS something chemical in our bodies, some certain twist of DNA that has been around for ages. Can you imagine what would have happened if people like us didn't have games? What if we had this need, this hunger, this desire, but we lived in the 18th Century? It makes you wonder what could really be driving some people mad... Maybe they just need an outlet or interaction that we, as a species, have yet to create for them?

Okay, that's more than enough. My finger needs a new band-aid. Later.

So, I've been playing Star Ocean: Till the End of Time for a while now. And, I'm thinking of quitting it.

It's not that it's not a good game, it's that it's not a great game. I've found that, the older I get, and the more games I play, the less willing I am to deal with sub-par, average, or even just good games.

When I play a great game, I feel invigorated, back on a high, and I start buying games up 2 at a time, hoping they'll spark the same feeling in me. But, by the time I'm half-over, I always have to re-evaluate the game, and decide if it's worth my time. As much as I liked Dark Cloud 2, I started feeling weighed down by the repetitive level structure and creatures. As exciting as Psi-Ops: The Mindgate Conspiracy originally seemed, the predictable storyline and uninspired direction left me feeling like I was wasting my time. Both games sit in my sock drawer now while I push through Star Ocean.

I think the other side of the problem is that I'm a very thorough gamer. When I play a level, I look at every space, every nook and cranny, and see what it has for me. Where this gets me in trouble is when games have nothing more to offer than bland information or bitmap paintings. Think back to, say, a Final Fantasy X (one of the only games I've ever replayed). There were some cinematics, although very important to the story (IMHO), that you wouldn't find without doing some digging and searching around. I feel satisfied when I search around and look in every possible area and find something wholly unexpected, cause, I guess, who doesn't want to see their hard work pay off?

But, maybe it isn't even about the levels or lack of extra details or anything mentioned, as much as it's about the length of the games. Dark Cloud 2 seemed to go on forever for me, especially when I was trying to figure out what to invent (Penny Arcade made a hilarious comic about this). Star Ocean has sucked up at least 30 hours of my life, and I have yet to feel like I've scratched the surface of it.

On the flip side, most games that have been called "too short" by most (the Max Payne series, for instance), have been just enough to keep me interested and ended just in time, to me.

Can a game be too long?

When I'm faced with these enormous worlds, full of possibility, I'm originally so excited, so captivated, so quick to try everything out. But, as I spend more and more time in the world, and find less and less exciting results, I get fed-up. It's like, when too many options with too little payoff are presented to me, I don't even want to bother. I essentially feel like I'm being forced to pick from a plethora of super-steep mountain paths when all I want to do is curl up in a chair and watch a good movie (or, in the case of videogames, fight some truly detailed and interesting battles, then watch an emotionally effective cutscene). Obviously, there's something to be said for getting the most bang for your buck, but why add repetitive extra levels and pointless extra story if you can say more and affect the player more with less? I guess what I'm trying to say is ... Sometimes, less is more, huh?