Well, this is depressing. You know, when I decided to start up a blog because I wanted to complain to the whole world about my life, I imagined something closer to a Youtube comment section, with lots of ranting and raving on different sides about something I wrote. I suppose thats a bit egotistical, but then again, so is creating a blog. I mean, no one writes a blog because they dont want people to read it. No, you want everyone to talk about it and comment on it and have watercooler time over it because you must be the one scrap of sanity (or insanity) left in their dull average world. Youre either going to be the guy who cheers them up because you give them the hope necessary to get out of their garbage heap of a life or the guy who they look at when they think theyre situation is terrible just to remind them that at least they dont have a dead hobo, pop star, or baby intheirparticular garbage heap (the state of the garbage heap depends on the crime drama).
Well now I feel like some stay-at-home mom who types about her new piano lessons with that boy across the street while watching Spanish soaps. This is doing nothing for my now-destroyed self-esteem. How worthless is a blog if I cant be a total jerk on it? Back to the Steam forums, I suppose.
There is one thing good about this, I guess. Now I can let the people I want to know about the inner details and machinations of my life know about it without having to drown them in snot and sorrow (or sadistic glee) every time they ask how Im doing. And the key there is want to know. Because everyone knows that when Person A, the family member you dont like, or the churchmember you dont know that well, or the friend of a friend asks you how youre doing, the last thing youre going to say is Terrible, or Great. Youll give them the asinine Okay, how about you? in hopes theyll just shut up and leave you alone to go back to your life with people you truly care about, namely Person B, who you wish you could fill in with all those stories about your life, but you also dont want to seem like youre throwing yourself at their feet, so you cooly answer Oh, theres this going on, heres my blog address. Boom! Run-on sentence. Im getting this pretentious snob thing down quite nicely.
So, with that little bit, I turn you to a nice introductory quote on why I wrote this blog, because all humans between 9-25 have learned to start off every piece of writing with a quote in hopes that this will establish your essay as unique. This tends to have the opposite effect as every single essay now has a cheeky header followed by a failed attempt at being special. Nice try, education system, but the mindless drones are still mindless drones.
Always be wary of any possible item that weighs less than its operating manual.
Terry Pratchett did a fair piece of work here, and then followed it up with another 30 novels that i still wish I had the time to read. Anyways, when I read this my techno-savvy mind immediately fled back to those immersive RPGs or sims that people call perfect because they created a whole world from scratch (except Fallout 3. Think you could have gotten away with your post-apocalyptic update to Oblivion without anyone noticing, huh, Bethesda?) Games like Morrowind, World of Warcraft, IL-2, ARMA, and others can be fun games once you figure out how to work the bloody thing. Its like youre born at age 18 and everyone expects you to know how the world works. Here buddy, its dangerous out there, take this! And dont forget about tax season, or youllwishyou had looted the armory, har-har-har.
Look, those games were great, but I felt like I had to look up every five seconds how to do something on the nearest forum. I started spending more time reading than I was actually playing. Oh, so thats what a Welkynd Stone is, no wonder it sells for so much! And soon after reading up everything there is to know about the botany of Tamriel I was back in the game for five seconds until I got lost again. After two hours of reading and approximately five minutes of game time I eventually I gave up and went to the command console to cheat my way into having the armor that they left out of the game and placed 50,000 damage on my special magicky stick I whacked the monsters with (not gay).
You see, for those technologically deprived, the command console in computers is like your own personal Russian Mafia. If you know how to talk the talk you can take shortcuts anywhere you want and do just about anything you like. Your command console is that thing where instead of looking up on Wikihow what to do to get your Windows updates to stop nagging you type in the correct string of text and poof! No more nagging. Its better than a GPS. Its your Montgomery Scott before J.J. Abrams invented time-travel loopholes. You can do anything you want with a computer with it. Instead of breaking out your operating manual every time theres a hiccup you have your console to do whatever the heck you feel like doing.
Right, so if I wanted to create a blog I would hope people would get more out of it than a typical giggle. Thats why this is named consolecommands: you learn from my experiences and get some console commands stocked for when life has you looking for a self-help book.
As for my name, theraptorfence, those who are close to me know that I feel like the characters in Jurrasic Park when the raptor fence goes down just about everyday. However, life is sometimes simpler when the fences go down and the world is effed by dinosaurs, because at least then you dont have to worry about what to do about your exam. Until that does happen though Ill have to keep my trigger-happy fingers on the keyboard instead, which feels about the same as the poor Douglas Adams fans felt when the Hitchhikers movie came out. Really, couldnt you do better after 20 years of development hell?
-JediLegacy (aka TheRaptorFence)