Well folks this semester has come and gone. Thank goodness, too. Id probably shoot myself if I ever had to take those classes again (Whats that? Fate says as it sharpens its irony). I had a vlog ready to go on Sasha, my desktop, but I totally didnt upload it because Im lazy. So thatll have to wait till I get back in January. But thats okay because I still have plenty to talk about.Starting with airports. Which I happen to be in. Airports literally sicken me. The thought of travel does not make the stomach go well, and airports epitomize everything I hate about the human race, starting with terribly overpriced food that gives you the runs, moving to the huge amount of people that are constantly flocking about, and ending with the fact that I feel like Im going to get sick from the hive of diseases these people are spreading. Which I already am, so I guess I can check one off.

But Im not here to rant about airports. This isnt stand-up comedy, and youre not here to enjoy yourself. Instead, lets talk more about comic, cause who knows what HOLY CANOLE DID A SECURITY CART MADE OF CANDY CANES JUST GO BY???

So after reading Watchmen I decided to have more fun reading comics. It has been a while and I decided what the hey, itll provide some good geek fun while Katie and company are doing Criminal Minds marathons (is there a time that showisnton?). I decided to do D.C. The reason is because:

A.) Though Im a Marvel fan, their one-shot and comics are complete piles of stick. Except another word that rhymes with stick. Like sick. Though they have great story arcs they just dont know how to put together something that has more than BOOM BAM PLAM written all over hastily scribbled drawings of pubescent teenagers inSwan Lakedropout costumes.

B.) Because CAN YOU STOP TALKING RANDOM LADY IN THE SKY IM TRYING TO WRITE A BLOG HERE I DONT CARE HELEN ABOUT ON BOARD CARRY ONS and

C.) Because I love Batman but havent read his comics. Thats a shame because as far as I can tell Batman comics are basically the gold of most graphic novels. Though the recent movies know what theyre doing I thought to go ahead and look into a few Batman one-shots and story arcs.

Batman: Year One- This is the one I started with. Boy was that a good idea! After Watchmen I prepared myself for a load of stick to wade through, but Year One most certainly deserves a top spot in the top ten of graphic novels. It was a gritty, if short, retelling of Batmans origins stories and his first year in Gotham. What really makes the story is the tying in of Gordon and Bruces story together: in all honesty, this is as much Gordons story as Batmans. The fact that there is no rouges gallery also was a welcome addition, adding a flavor to the stories as the script had to lean heavily on making its heroes interesting and believable rather than its villains. I would suggest it as a good entry-level Batman comic, as it was drawn heavily from for Batman Begins and can be relatable.

Batman: The Dark Knight Returns- This small story arc of about 150 pages was longer than I expected, and was also much grittier and darker. It tends to be held up by critics as the same level of Watchmen, though I would not take it so far. However, it is a welcome addition, and Im sure would hold up better to a second read-through. It turns the idea of Batman on its head by showing a dystopian 1980s with a 50 year old Batman coming out of retirement to take down a gang that is terrorizing Gotham and all the repercussions that follow. If you have read Watchmen you will not be as surprised, but the change it created by radically altering how comics would be written makes it at least a necessary read, if not a pleasant one.

The Killing Joke- Okay but seriously before we get started, I will drug every single child I carry with me onto a plane. Thats just terrible. No one likes Jeffrey screaming at a pitch just high enough for dogs to discern but just low enough to make humans ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL. Nyquil people. Or a bat. Whichever works best for you. Speaking of bats, The Killing Joke was the comic used specifically for the creation of the Joker inThe Dark Knight. It reads like it, too. Its a short 75 pages, yet one of the most shocking reads Ive had yet. The retelling of Joker in this is written by none other than Alan Moore. What a freak that guy isdid you know he wrote an erotica graphic novel about Alice in Wonderland, Peter Pan, and.you know what, never mind. Just wiki his picture. Ugheither way, The Killing Joke is a great pair withBatman: Year One, especially in the shock value that it brings to the table and the question of how insane Joker really is when lifting the mirror to Batman. As usual with Moore, if you want thinking in your comic this is a great one-shot. The retelling of Jokers origins are fantastic.

Batman: The Man Who Laughs- Another Joker comic, this one being the sequel toYear One. However, its not even close to being as good as that, and doesnt live up to it. However, it does tell the first meetings of Joker and Batman, and again is downright creepy. It does not paint him like the Animated Series did. Lots of deaths abound in this. The one place I believe it really failed is that they brought motive to the Joker other than anarchy. Why, writers, why? Joker isnt cool unless he is totally batstick crazy (pun intended).

Batman: Arkham Asylum- No, its not about the video game. If anything, the video game is loosely based on this one-shot. What a fantastic one-shot it is, too. Its drawings are detailed, yet post-impressionistic. I feel truly insane reading it, and even better is the writing itself as Batman must spend a night with the inmates who have taken over the asylum. It is short, and does not have the action that the video game has. Instead, it writes about the origins of the asylum, and the inmates have a tinge of realism (for instance, Mad Hatter is close to pedophilic). For a trip through the looney bin, look no further than this one-shot.

The Long Halloween- Oh what a fantastic story arc! I loved this. It was around 400 pages, though with less writing thanDark Knight Returns. It is the inspiration for the newest Batman-Nolan trilogy, and is fantastically created. It has a touch of a noir or post-noir grittiness, and follows a murder mystery as someone murders on every holiday of the year. Maybe its Calendar Man. Maybe it isnt. Who knows? Either way, if you want to see the rise and fall of Harvey Dent, this is the place. If you want to see the rogues gallery come out in full force, right here. If you want to actually remember why Detective Comics is called Detective Comics, look no further. Paired withBatman:Year OneandThe Killing Joke, this is my favorite Batman graphic novel.

I am in the process of reading Dark Victory, Knightfall, and other one-shots so Ill get back when I can but oh no the flights starting an-

-JediLegacy (aka TheRaptorFence)