Owls have no New Year's Eve. Neither can their lives be measured in days, for they are fowls of the night. They are never mentioned in New Year's honour's lists - owls are born with honour. They make no New Year's resolutions - instinctive creatures do not need resolution.

They take no hostages, no drugs, no holidays, no showers. Owls ignore art, religion, politics, sport, clothes, media, waterskiing, music, agriculture, history, gold, furniture, world travel, unionism, photo albums, indentikit portraits, maps, telephones, charity, scandal, fashion, omens. Owls like trees, moonlight, sex, food, nests, hooting.

VOTE 1 OWLS