Just a few of my fav. Gilmore Girls Quotes

Rory: Do something to make me hate you!
Lorelai: Um, go Hitler

[At the Yale-Harvard football game]
Lorelai: Oh, wait, are you Pennilyn Lott, my dad's college sweetheart?
Pennilyn Lott: Yes.
Lorelai: You're my almost-mommy.
Pennilyn Lott: Well, I supposed that's one way of putting it...
Lorelai: I'm so glad to finally meet you. Let me ask you something - would you have let me get a pony?

Lorelai: What happened? The reception on the phone sucked. All I heard was "Rory" and "Chilton" and "Get down here." Whose butt do I have to kick?
Rory: We didn't go to breakfast.
Lorelai: What are you talking about?
Rory: We came here. They broke into the headmaster's office as the big initiation.
Lorelai: Ugh, those stupid girls.
Rory: Uh huh. Part of the initiation was ringing a bell. So, that's what I was doing when security showed up and they called you.
Lorelai: That's what you got busted for? That's it? Bell-ringing?
Rory: Yes.
Lorelai: Were you at least smoking a Cuban cigar while you were doing it?
Rory: Mom.
Lorelai: No, I mean, "bad girl, how many times have I told you not to ring bells?"
Rory: [interrupting] Let's go.
Lorelai: [continuing] "They can dent, or scratch, and they make dogs go crazy. Who do you think you are, the Hunchback of Notre Dame? Are you French? Circular? I don't think so."
Rory: I'm walking to the car now.
Lorelai: [later] Was it a big bell at least?

Lorelai: [at the town meeting, when everyone is talking about the bad things that Jess has done] I hear he controls the weather and wrote the screenplay to Glitter!

Lorelai: Can I use the fun cutter thingy?
Luke: Not if you call it the fun cutter thingy.
Lorelai: Please?
Luke: Cut the boxes, not your hands.
Lorelai: Good tip, you should teach!

Clara: Is Jess your real name?
Jess: Yes.
Clara: Do you like it?
Jess: It's fine.
Clara: Would you rather be named Bill?
Jess: No.
Clara: Frank?
Jess: No.
Clara: Mike?
Jess: No.
Clara: Bob?
Jess: No.
Clara: Ed?
Jess: Does this belong to you?
Dean: Clara, you want a snowcone?
Clara: Yes, will you get me a snowcone?
Jess: Absolutely. Go stand in the middle of the street and wait for me, I'll be right back.

Lorelai: I'm gonna have pancakes with a side of pancakes

Lorelai: Heh, you know what I just realized? "Oy" is the funniest word in the entire world.
Rory: Hmm.
Lorelai: I mean think about it, you never hear the word "oy" and not smile. Impossible. Funny, funny word.
Emily: Oh dear God.
Lorelai: "Poodle" is another funny word.
Emily: Please drink your drink, Lorelai.
Lorelai: In fact, if you put "oy" and "poodle" together, in the same sentence, you'd have a great new catchphrase, you know? Like, "Oy with the poodles already."
Rory: Hehe.
Lorelai: So from now on, when the perfect circumstances arise, we will use our favorite new catchphrase:
Rory: Oy with the poodles already.
Lorelai: I'm telling you, it's knocking "Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Willis?" right out of first place.

Lorelai: Schooch down now and go to sleep.
[she moves Rory's armchair]
Rory: What are you doing?
Lorelai: Nothing, just a little feng shui, go to sleep.
Rory: Mom, you don't have to sleep in here tonight.
Lorelai: I know, I just think the chair looks nice here.
Rory: And what's the blanket for?
Lorelai: In case the chair gets cold.
Rory: And the pillow?
Lorelai: To keep the blanket company.
Rory: Uh-huh.
Lorelai: Okay, everything's in its place. Chair seems warm, blanket seems happy, just one thing missing... oh yeah.
[sits down in chair]
Lorelai: Goodnight.
Rory: Freak of sideshow proportions.
Lorelai: I love you, too.
Rory: Mom?
Lorelai: Hmm?
Rory: I'm sorry.
Lorelai: Shh, the chair is trying to sleep.

Jess: Yeah women right, can't live with 'em, can't stop them from jumping in closets... go figure.

Rory: So, Grandpa, how's the insurance biz?
Richard: Oh, people die, we pay. People crash, we pay. People lose a foot, we pay.
Lorelai: Well, at least you have your new slogan.

Luke: Taylor, no, no, no, no, and every day from now on 'til the end of my life, I am gonna come in here and say, "Taylor, no." And when I die, I'm gonna have them freeze me next to Ted Williams, and when they find the cure to what I died of and they unfreeze me, my first words are gonna be, "How's Ted?" followed closely by, "Taylor, no."

Lorelai: What, did you break into our house, you got all dressed in black and pulled a Mission: Impossible?
Jess: Actually, I came down the chimney and pulled a Santa Claus.
Lorelai: Very funny.
Jess: Thought a ridiculous accusation deserved a ridiculous response.

Rory: Why aren't you dancing?
Jess: I'm dancing on the inside.

Rory: I am dancing, I can not control where my glance goes, and when I can control it, my glance goes to Dean.
Jess: You mean you can't control when you look at me, but you have to force yourself to look at him.
[to Dean]
Jess: Sorry man, that's cold.

Lorelai: No, Mom, I'm shopping for Rory. You're shopping for your imaginary granddaughter, Barbara Hutton.

Luke: Ow.
Lorelai: Luke, are you okay?
Luke: Stupid box. Stupid lamp.
Lorelai: Hey Luke, are you being attacked by your possessions again?

Jess: Hi.
Rory: Hey.
Jess: Hi.
Lorelai: Hi.
Jess: Hi.
Luke: Hi.
Rory: I have to get to school.
Jess: Yeah, me too.
Rory: Bye
Jess: Bye. Bye.
Lorelai: Bye.
Rory: Bye.
Lorelai: Bye.
Rory: Bye.
Luke: Bye.
[Jess and Rory leave]
Luke: What the hell was that?
Lorelai: That was episode one of Rory and Jess: The Early Years.

Luke: Jess, you can't just shove a girl in a closet.
Jess: She got in voluntarily.

Emily: Lorelai, you almost ran me over!
Lorelai: Well, good thing we're in a hospital.

Rory: Please, just tell me why you're here.
Dean: I don't even know...
Rory: Yes, you do!
Dean: Because I thought that you? Oh, forget it.
Rory: No.
Dean: I thought you were trying to talk to me.
Rory: Oh?
Dean: I mean, you came to my house?
Rory: Oh, no that? that wasn't me.
Dean: It *was* you.
Rory: It must have been someone that looked like me...
Dean: My sister recognized you from the pictures in my box.
Rory: What box?
Dean: The box I have of us, pictures and letters from you and everything...
Rory: You have a Rory box?
Dean: And what was going on at that town meeting, all that stuff about writing a song?
Rory: I don't know what I was talking about...
Dean: And it had nothing to do with me?... Well, I must have imagined it all, then. Your boyfriend is waiting.
Rory: He's not my boyfriend, I *hate* him!
Dean: Whatever.
Rory: Dean!
Dean: What?
Rory: Stop!
Dean: Why?
Rory: Because I love you, you idiot!

Lorelai: You want to devil-egg Jess' car? And how is that gonna make me feel better about Sherry?
Rory: Because it's active. It's aggressive. It's destructive, but not too destructive. I don't know... can you make something up?
Lorelai: Let's do it.

[Jess and Rory are walking to that bridge thing and Jess sits down]
Jess: I like this place.
Rory: Wow. A place in Stars Hollow you actually like.
Jess: And it has so many memories... see over there?
[points]
Jess: That's where Luke pushed me in.