Sidewinder

Chapter Three

A deafening blood curdling scream can be heard all around. Shuffling blood drenched feet sifting through the dark heat of the savanna night.

"What the **** are those?" asks a distressed Graeme "Zombies..... this is going to get gorey" replies Jono spinning two flip out knives in his hands "everyone use your knives we need to do this silently... the military base is nearby we cannot let them know we are here" He continues "if we let one shot off they will just send a missile our way and wipe us out". "But there must be three thousand zombies here?!" states havok "Unfortunately that's the risk we took when we accepted this mission.... Dudersaper is in trouble and this branch of the base must be destroyed... their testing has gone too far. What do you think these zombies are? They are people from our homes... and now we have to kill every single damn one of them, now Raven faller and havok you take the left side of the crowd, me roman and Graeme will get the right , when we meet in the middle... we have won" He says coldly.

Raven runs into the crowd slitting two zombies throats barely dodging the spray of blood. Havok runs up a nearby cliff face about 30 ft up in the air and then jumps .... as he lands he takes out tens of them spinning around splattering blood all over the place. Faller takes a stereo out of his bag and puts on Chris Cornell - You know my name. He then proceeds to running in and slicing as many zombies as possible. "Ok you two stay on my side we need to get em as quick as possible just give them a quick stab through the eye or forehead" Jono says.

About an hour later there remains one zombie all six men form up and give their knives to Roman "Lets give this some DMC ****" he says as he throws 11 of the knives into the zombies head, he then runs up and decapitates the zombie saying "I just made a killing in the shock market" Graeme slaps his forehead yet again.

3 hours later

"Ok get the guns ready we are going in loud.... very loud. Havok i want you on chainsaw and rocket launcher, Roman use my katanas , while raven throw these lady Ga Ga cds at them , Faller i want you to summon any armies you have, there are ten thousand men going to come out here to meet us, while there is another 200 inside so we need any midgets herpes infested Asian hookers or midgets you can use. Graeme you can use this sharpened bagpipe which can act as a sword but there is also knives in the sack that you can blow out at enemies. While i will use the rest of the guns and the traps i have set". Suddenly a huge siren blares as the military base comes to life.... an army of armed men thunder from the base firing at the group.. "FALLER NOW" screams raven as faller whistles into the sky unbelievably loudly

hundreds of thousands of midget bunny ninjas , Asian syringe holding hookers and violin holding midgets run towards the army... "Ok our first big battle, here we go!! AGRHHHHHHHHH" All of them scream running into almost certain death or golden victory....

End of chapter three

Sidewinder

Chapter 4

"GET THE **** DOWN!!!" screams Jono sliding across the floor to some cover. Roman pounds a group of soldiers with his shotgun while Havok proceeds to fire rocket after rocket into the main crowd of enemies. "Faller get your troopers in there" Raven said "Coming right up" Faller replies.....

The thousands of Fallers minions rush into the crowd of troops stealing the tags from their grenades. "Oh my god, GET DOWN NOW!" thunders Jono as a white ball of light erupts from the the troops.

The group trudge inside the dark halls of the military base , guns loaded.... ready for death. Just as they round a corner a sharp buzzing explodes into their ears rendering them unconscious. "Wake up" says a calm voice into Graeme's ear. "Let me go and your deaths will be quick" he says coldly to the tall man in front of him, "Well unfortunately I'm not in the mood for that so shut your face".

"The Cobalt project 2009, in short..... You" The man says to the now awake group "Who are you.... why were we sent to kill you" Jono asks "You were not sent to kill me.... you all suffered head trauma and have seemed to make up your own shot term memories. You see , i have had you bugged the entire time..... there is a chip in your brain feeding me your locations at all time, That is how i knew where you were, where to send the troops" He continues.

Havok looks around at the room, they are locked into chambers with liquid being fed into reaching their legs. "Oh yes, that water will continue to rise.... until you die. Now i want to address your little sentiments of your friend Dudersaper was it? We tested on him.... like we tried to do with you, but you escaped." The man said "Why were you testing on us, we never did anything" Faller asks "YES YOU DID!" The man yells at faller "We trained all of you useless bastards and what did we get, you going awol from your mission and getting blown up!, Do you really want to know why you are all dressed in black? Why you woke up in a desert with no memories apart from a mission?".

"You are not human anymore..... when you were blown up you lost all of your limbs.... all we had to work from was heads... you should be dead. We rebuilt every one of you into fighting machines , even though we spent two million dollars training you anyway!". "You see, every one of you were losers whittling your days away on forums... we approached you with an offer to become more!, and you all said yes. We took you from your homes.... and killed your families, we wiped your memories and trained you into an elite squad of troops... the only remnant of your old lives we left were your old forum names." "It seems the others that accepted were more loyal but you killed them didn't you Jono?" He asks "**** you" Jono spits.

"After your training you went on to do missions , your most highly acclaimed one..... putting one into the head of Osama Bin Lardon. Until you were asked to get rid of a nuke.... you were meant to take a direct route to us.... but you tried to take out two contracts in one day and stopped off in china to kill Kim Jong Il and the plane exploded killing you all. Until we rebuilt you all... and you escaped killing fourteen of our men in the process, and now you have killed over 50,000 in one day...... oh yes you will die..... just like i killed every one of your mothers with my bare hands"

Jono looks up at the man with fire in his eyes and says "well then... if we are cyborgs.... why didn't you put us in more secure containers. He snaps the container in two as the others do the same.... Jono approaches the man and grabs him by the throat "You destroy our lives... kill our family and friends.... and you cant even tell us with some courtesy?" Jono says snapping his throat.... Just as they go to leave.... the gigantic metal doors on the wall open.

A 5 ft man walks in... Raven's Jaw drops "DUDERSAPER!" he runs over to him to hug him but instead gets knocked to the floor with a punch. Roman grabs his swords from the table and slices the man down the centre... Sparks fly from him as copper wire falls. Faller begins shooting at the machine but it raises its shotgun and shoots him right through fallers artificial heart. "FALLER!" Havok screams running over to him the others continue fighting the machine while Havok lies with faller "Don't.... don't die... your like a father to me... please" He says "I know i am..... but you have to let go... let me go..." Faller replies "Please don't go.... I love you" Havok screams at him "Jesus Christ you gay little boy! I'm wearing a bulletproof jacket ha ha!" Faller chuckles at havok standing up.

Jono grabs his glocks from the table, turns them to automatic and sprays bullet after bullet into the Machines head... it falls down smoking. "Where are we going to go?" Graeme asks "I don't know.... we have to chase the people who have done this to us.... and kill them.... every damn one of them" Jono replies "This is only the beginning...." Says Roman "Asta la vista baby!" Faller yells. The rest of them give him a strange look and leave the base and leave the base.... leave their home.

The end..... Bullet Ballet coming soon

Sidewinder

Chapter 1

A desolate hell of sand and rock glistens in the heat wave gliding on the edge of the horizon... a cobra slides through the terrain hoping to reach its territory unharmed.... it fails as a hulking hand plucks it from the flat layer of pebble........ "hey... HEY! Look... the cobra its my wang!!" A man about 20 wearing all black and a bulletproof vest with a white skull painted on it stands the the snake pinned to his pelvis "hey look! Faller your girlfriend would appreciate this, she did last Tuesday" . Another older man wearing the same clothes approaches and slaps him "JONO !YOUR DOING IT ALL WRONG! Your meant to hold it lower, that's how she likes it!" another three men join the group all wearing the same.

"Anyone want to listen to my Ipod? Havok? Graeme?"said one of them "urrr no i don't like electro, your a freak!" jeered another.. before the banter can continue a distant whistle is heard . The group dismisses it and returns to their bicker "Jono... why are we dressed like the frickin punisher?!".. before he can answer he gets hit by a stray bullet and is thrown back into the sand.

"Agrghh you son of a!!" he said as he stands up drawing two glock 18s from his holsters. A group of about ten military officials approach on the back of a half track. "GET ON THE FLOOR AND PUT YOUR HANDS ON THE GROUND NOW!" wails from the trucks speaker. Jono dusts off his trousers an starts walking toward the truck as the others draw their weapons.

He stops about ten metres from the truck and stands it off for about ten seconds while the men aim their rifles and get ready to fire upon him if they need to, he says calmly "i painted this vest myself... and you made a hole in it.... your all getting holes now" and with that he unloads round after round into the truck until the gas tank ignites and bursts into a gigantic ball of flame smouldering the sand around it. Jono coolly says "surfs up!"

Graeme slaps his forehead and says "what the hell does that have to do with anything" Jono shrugs and climbs a nearby rope ladder "come on lets get to our position" he grunts at the others. They all crawl into a very tight gap in the rock set out with high tech sniper rifles and piles off ammunition.

Just as they load their rifles another four or so trucks full of men and two tanks arrive. Raven looks into his sight and says " You idiots ready?" "i am are you ready to stop being an electro gay replies Graeme... Just as the group go to unload ammunition into the small army a man steps out of one of the trucks , at the moment he sees this Jono jumps out of the gap and goes running towards the man screaming along the way "SARREEEN!" the military open fire but to no avail as he continues running drawing the katana from his back.

He reaches Saren and creates a sheath for his katana in Saren's stomach "That's for hank you son of a *****!!" he screams at him. As a hundred guns click and get ready to fire a colossal tail raises from the sand and destroys the entire convoy. All five of the men forum up into a line as Faller looks up into the sky and lets out a gigantic whistle.

The ground begins to shake as not only the monsters entire body flies out of the ground but a thousand little feet can be seen on the horizon..... child feet....... African child feet Havok looks to Faller and says "Its true!??! you really do have an army of African children!!?!?!?" faller just taps his nose and looks to the children.

The masses leap onto the beasts back and begin chewing into its legs. Within ten minutes the beast is nothing but a skeleton laying in the dust. "What was that thing? Says Raven " Sand Dragon" replies Faller "Thought to be extinct but still exists and is only bought out by large explosions thank you Jono"

End of chap 1

Sidewinder

Chapter 2

"I need to pee pass me the bucket" said Graeme unzipping. "Take it behind the rock scotanian" laughed Raven

"What was that?" Asked Graeme "Scott Canadian"Answered a gleeful Raven . "we need to find some water" said Faller "Roman is meant to be bringing some when he gets the airdrop" Havok answered. Roman was the sixth man of the group , who had a mission in Colombia busting a drug ring which overran slightly , so he was being air dropped in four hours later. "Why don't you just get your army of tuxedo wearing midget water bucket carrying clowns who play the violin to bring some?" Asked Jono "Myths are not always true..." Faller smirked.

The group pick up their munitions bags and continue walking on into the blazing heat... although they would , but at that moment something hit Havok.... hard knocking him to the floor. "What the hell was that?" he looks over to the ground to see it was a rock.... they all looked up to the steep cliffs to see something sliding down it.... a 6ft red haired man wearing all black and a bulletproof jacket with a skull on it. "Hello guys, what am i dressed like the punisher?" The man asks "Hello roman, that's because Jono has an undeniable man crush on Frank Castle" Faller answers "Screw you it was good film" Jono snipes back. So the unlikely group of mysterious agents continue to wonder into the depths of this blazing hell.

"Snow?" Raven asks worriedly "My god... and its not just Graeme's hair" Faller replies. Thick dollops of white clunk into the burning sand melting instantly. "GET DOWN NOW!!" Jono screams as a mortar shell hits the ground nearby knocking Roman into a nearby rock rendering him unconscious. Raven takes out a pistol and begins suppressing the mortar with a few shots "Faller and Havok take the wester flank , ill take the east RAVEN look at Roman!" Yells Jono as he gets out his M4 carbine and runs up the eastern cliff wall. Havok gets out and RpG with a speed loader and joins faller in running up the western wall.

Jono reaches the top panting and is met by a shotgun sticking in his chest... "hello, Shake" Jono says. The man fires a shell point blank into his chest.... knocking him off the cliff into the blazing ground below as he does the man drops to the floor from a shot, coming from Fallers rifle "Suck it , you son of a b****" he says coolly. Although while concentrating on the man he didn't notice the 50 plus men with guns trained on him. Havok runs up and fires the RpG into the crowd killing them all instantly "Should have switched to Decaf" Havok says "No.. stop with the bad catch phrase... hey where did Graeme go?" Faller asks

"Oh god dammit Jono is down bad" Raven says "But Romans going to be fine" he continues. A huge raw breaks the conversation as Graeme hits the sand next to them "Freaking Sidewinder" he whispers as blood trickles from his mouth. The three remaining men look into the distance look to the horizon to see a behemoth sidewinder dragon pounding toward them. Only to make matters worse Gunfire pounds the ground around them as the Military backup arrives. Jono suddenly jumps up and grabs his sword running toward the beast at unbelievable speed.. He reaches it and they both jump up high into the sky fighting ... unable to track.

"Havok get your RpG and fire on that cliff" Screams Faller "Why?!" shouts Havok back "It'll displace the ground below the troops and they will fall" Faller answers still shouting. Without a second though Havok fires a rocket into the cliff and surely enough the troops fall to their deaths while the others are picked off by Raven and Faller's rifles.

"Damn where did Jono go with that thing" Havok asks "Knowing Jono they are married and living on a small island while a Filipino boy" Faller answers cheerily.. suddenly a gigantic lizard like head drops to the ground with Jono on top of it... The head is covered in a white soupy substance "Got milk?" Jono says "See now that works!" Faller says cheerily "What is that stuff "an injured Roman asks Jono just chuckles as The rest of the men's Jaws drop "You didn't!" Graeme says wiping blood from his mouth "No don't worry it gathers when you go through the atmosphere luckily i was hiding in his mouth when we went through, bugger tried to eat me so i cut his head off from the inside" Jono replies.

With that the group continues walking into the blazing heat.. and many more battles.

End of Chap 2

First shot, only just started shooting, I guess all of those Fps' have taken their toll

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If you are a member of TLRU you will know of the story, but the full complete version will be posted in my blog within the week. I was also just wondering what people think of my che nevvaro avatar?

No idea what that title means so shut up, this is a very personal blog so if you cant be bothered with listening to me complain about how hard of a time ive had stop reading now lol.

For about four years ive been struggling with school troubles without ever being bullied or any traumatic event causing me to not want to go it just seemed to happen well this year in my year 10 i havent been in once and that was due to a large reason i had a very serious breakdown toward the beggining of last year all made worse by that fact that every single one of my school friends decided to not support me one bit so in the end i was on my own without anyone to talk to.

And well after a year of therapy and **** like that its finally over i can finally move on with my life without being burdened by this stuff , and this is as usual of me not how you would expect i didnt go back into school or anything like that, im getting an easy way out... im going to college ill be a year ahead of those idiots i called friends and ill be doing my early years for childcare and youth studies (as id like to work in a nursery or something like that) so its all worked out.

Now you may be wondering how this affects any of you in any way and why i would even post this, well ill tell you why last year i was absolutley addicted to the 360 and because of that i had many a rumor spread about me at school and last wednesday i rung up all the people that had said things about me and told them a few home truths (one of them actually cried HOW AWESOME IS THAT!!!) so now that i have that out of the way i will not anymore be bitter toward microsoft and the 360 .

Secondly now i do not have this absolute crippling stress about my future i will be a calmer and overall more considerate person (Graeme i mean you) im no longer going to be shouting and swearing although i still will be insane no doubt about it. i just though i should post this so no one is wondering why i have changed. And through all of this i have taken EVERYTHING seriously i have no just been trying to get days off school even in the first 3 years i was not being lazy i just want people to understand that so they dont think like my old friends did.

Id just like to say thanks to every single person on gamespot for being here as a place to socialize while i felt everything else was going to pot and because of people like you i am finally back on my way to having a good life. COOKIES FOR ALL

Jono out

Now i know alot of people would say they dont care about graphics, but honestly that wouldnt be true. At the moment around 80% of people wouldn't buy a game because it has bad graphics , but does it really change anything? its still the same game with the graphical level or not, so why are we so obsessed with them?

Now lets look to two recent game released which have had heavy debates all over as to which is best , Protoype and inFamous , both were released within 2 weeks of eachover and were pretty similar games but in its first week inFamous garnered considerably more than prototype (American sales figures). Could this be due to review scores? or perhaps was it the graphical differences?

So why do you think we are so obsessed with graphics?

Just finished writing up my inFamous review give it a read albeit not very good i did spend a good hour on it

http://uk.gamespot.com/ps3/action/infamous/player_review.html?id=663872

Well today Infamous came on my rental and ive got to say... not too shabby, the sense of power and freedom you get when your blasting along the rails is exhilirating and the easy to use controls are unbeaten so far. Definatley my game of the year so far. The top notch graphics , gameplay and boobys (erm... yeah) make this certainly a must have.

Damn Week!!!! this damn rental system is getting on my nerves first i get wheelman send it back after 3 trophies and half an hour then 3 days later i get damnnation and send it back after 10 minutes. terrible terrible games!!! Avoid take this as advice and also i thought i should warn you of death in this age which may be cause by

Listening to Duffy

Watching a film with Kate Winslet In it

Thankyou.

Ill be away for a few days im going to rome so ill be back on tuesday. Goodbah!!!