Hey guys. :) Sorry for no blog in like a week. I figure the best way to do this is to just spit it out. I'm leaving this site; for good this time. I've been here over a year now. I've had so many memories here. Most all of them good. It's kind of hard to leave them all behind. But things have changed, and I figure that instead of holding onto all these old memories, that I myself, need to change.

I remember when I first joined this place. There were so many great people here. They welcomed me, made me feel at home, and over time we became great friends on here. Most of those people are gone now.

I used to enjoy posting in the forums (mainly the LOST one). But now, I just see no point in bothering with that.

I used to love making these huge colorful blogs; let everyone know what was going on in my life; share music, pictures, etc. But now, I just find it more of a hassle. (something I never thought would happen; but it has..)

I have to say that about the only thing I'll miss about this place is the great people I've got to know over these past 15 or so months. You've all been great, and so nice to me. You're amazing people, you really are. So because of this, I will drop in from time to time, and check in with you all.

I'll no longer do any blogs, but I will check my messages when I drop in. So send me some messages and I'll get back to you. And we can talk and catch up. :)

I wish all of you the best in everything that you do. I sincerely mean that. :)

It's been fun you guys, but all things must come to an end. And this is the end of my time here.

If you want to get in touch you can nearly always find me at s11.zetaboards.com/hearts_and_minds or on s4.zetaboards.com/further_instructions.

I'll check in sometime and drop ya guys a line. Take care and thanks for everything. :)

♥-Ashley (LOSTismylife)

The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I'm having 100% fun.

I don't have the passion anymore, and so remember, it's better to burn out than to fade away.

-Kurt Cobain.

hey kiddos. how ya been? :) sorry i've missed a lot of blogs. I haven't been on here. been kinda busy. okay...thats a lie...i just haven't got on here. but anyways, my apologies.

tomorrow is Father's Day....so

=]

So i'm doing a new thing with my blog. You know how my blog title is always a lyric from my "song of the day". Well from now on I won't post the song of the day. Instead, we'll have us a little contest. First person to name the song that my blog title comes from gets a point. And we'll do it for however long. And in the end whoever has the most points wins :) ...and idk you'll get somethingl idk what yet lol.

so anyways first person to tell me what song my blog title is from gets today's point :)

I've started on To Kill A Mockingbird. It's great && I love it so much. It could quite possibly be one of my favorite books of all time. =]I also bought Lord of The Flies to read.

Picture of the Day:

for father's day :) =]

iCONS::

Quote of the Day::

"So it took an eight-year-old child to bring 'em to their senses.... That proves something - that a gang of wild animals can be stopped, simply because they're still human. Hmp, maybe we need a police force of children"

-To Kill A Mockingbird.

kinda short blog but ohwells. see ya later kiddos.

=]

♥ashley.

What's up girls and guys? Today I've been swimming and went shopping again. I bought some more shorts at Aeropostale. But I don't wanna bother with finding them on the site. Lol. Lazzzzy.

I read all of Our Town. It's good. I like the ending; it has a good message. It talks about how everybody rushes through life and never take the time to slow down and appreciate everything they have. Mainly, we take life for granted. Cause at the end the girl, Emily, goes back and rewatches a day in her life. And she would give anything to go back and appreciate it more. Something along those lines. I love it. Shockingly enough.

I re-read the first 7 pages of Antigone for the 3rd or 4th time now. And FINALLY got to where I understand them. It's weird because when I first read it I was being all quiet and concentrating on it. But the last time I read it when I finally understood it I was rockin out to Kashmir [[Led Zeppelin]] on my ipod. So I've decided that music, does in fact, help me. hehe.

So after I finally understood that part I was like I'll read on....but I have no clue what the next part's about. Even Led Zeppelin couldn't help me there. =/

Song of the Day:

Kashmir - Led Zeppelin

Oh let the sun beat down upon my face, stars to fill my dream
I am a traveler of both time and space, to be where I have been
To sit with elders of the gentle race, this world has seldom seen
They talk of days for which they sit and wait and all will be revealed

Talk and song from tongues of lilting grace, whose sounds caress my ear
But not a word I heard could I relate, the story was quite clear
Oh, oh.

Oh, I been flying... mama, there aint no denyin
Ive been flying, aint no denyin, no denyin

All I see turns to brown, as the sun burns the ground
And my eyes fill with sand, as I scan this wasted land
Trying to find, trying to find where Ive been.

Oh, pilot of the storm who leaves no trace, like thoughts inside a dream
Heed the path that led me to that place, yellow desert stream
My shangri-la beneath the summer moon, I will return again
Sure as the dust that floats high and true, when movin through kashmir.

Oh, father of the four winds, fill my sails, across the sea of years
With no provision but an open face, along the straits of fear
Ohh.

When Im on, when Im on my way, yeah
When I see, when I see the way, you stay-yeah

Ooh, yeah-yeah, ooh, yeah-yeah, when Im down...
Ooh, yeah-yeah, ooh, yeah-yeah, well Im down, so down
Ooh, my baby, oooh, my baby, let me take you there

Let me take you there. let me take you there

IMPORTANT!

Okay, so I'm going to mention this yet again. This site Hearts and Minds. It's a good site; it's made up of some of the nicest people you'll meet in your life [myself included haha :P ] We're recruiting new members. There's some good LOST discussion and we've got some forums for other things too. It's kind of a small place, so everyone pretty much knows everyone. Which, I'm kinda more fond of smaller sites. Anyways, regardless, I guarantee it's better than this LOST board. Anywho, I'm gonna keep advertising it; so I guess you can get used to it lol. But seriously, you should check it out. =]

Hearts and Minds

iCONS! :D

Quote of the Day:

Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it?

-Our Town

Well kiddos that's it for this blog. Leave some comments if ya like. Oh and at least check out tha site. Pleeeeeeaaaasseee. For me? :) *puppy dog eyes*

Hi guys. :) Well today I've been shopping. Went to the mall and bought some stuff.

from Aeropostale:

(only because it said Cross Country on it lol)

Haven't really done much else today. How bout you guys?

Remember last summer when I did all those summer assignments just to get accepted into that advanced honors English cla.ss. Well I have to do that again this year. I have to read two plays. Antigone and Our Town. Has anyone read either of the two? I started on Antigone....and it sucks. I have no idea wtf it's supposed to be about. And we have to keep journals and write in them as we read to "capture our reactions". And it said to be completely honest. So my opening sentence for the journal is: "I'm not gonna lie, that was the most boring thing I've ever read in my life." Then it goes off into a half page hate rant about how much the first 7 or so pages sucked. She wants honesty?; she's got it.

Our Town is actually really good. Well what I've read of it so far..

Then we're supposed to pick a book of choice to read and do a report on. I mean it can't be just any book; there's standards. And I wanna do it on To Kill A Mockingbird. Just because I've always wanted to read that book. I couldn't find it at the book store today, so hopefully the library has it. If I can't find it I'll probably just do it on Twilight. It's supposed to be a book you've not read yet...but hey, she doesn't know I've read it already..

Oh yeah I almost forgot..

There's a new member here, jahnaleigh16. Just joined like idk; 2 days ago maybe? But anyways she asked me to help her out with finding some friends and stuff on here. So if anyone wants to add her she's in my contacts.

Song of the Day

Heart Shaped Box - Nirvana

She eyes me like a pisces when I am weak
I've been locked inside your Heart Shaped box, for weeks
I've been drawn into your magnet tar pit trap
I wish I could eat your cancer when you turn black

Hey!
Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
hey
wait
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Hey!
Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice

...your advice

Meat-eating orchids forgive no one just yet
Cut myself on Angel Hair and baby's breath
Broken hymen of your highness I'm left black
Throw down your umbilical noose so I can climb right back

Hey!
Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
hey!
Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Hey!
Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
...Your advice

*guitar solo*

She eyes me like a pisces when I am weak
I've been locked inside your Heart-Shaped box for weeks
I've been drawn into your magnet tar pit trap
I wish I could Eat your cancer when you turn black

Hey!
Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
hey!
wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Hey!
Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Your advice
Your advice
Your advice

Pic of tha day! :D

gawwwsshh i love that gum! i bought me some of the red kind today :D

iCONS! :D

Quote of the Day:

Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are. - Kurt Cobain

Well that's all I got for now kiddos. Feel free to leave some comments. Have a great day. :)

♥ ashley

=]

Hiya guys. So I just looked at a lot of my old blogs from when I very first joined this site. (lol 15 months ago :o ) And aww the memories. I've laughed cause I used to get like a good 6 comments per blog (which is close to what I'm gettin now haha :P ) But I really do miss those days cause it was last summer when I started coming here and to FI and H&M. It doesn't seem like it's been that long. Time flies. But in a way it seems like I can't remember the time when I didn't know some of these people on here.

I saw where I used to post like half a page of icons haha. And I saw some of my old "party blogs". We'll have to do one of those soon ;) Ohh! And I seen mine and Joey's "wedding". Haha cracks me right up; how cute.

I was reading thru some of the comments too and it's so sad to see how many people I used to be so close to that I haven't talked to in months; some, nearly a year. :( Gahh; I hate how things change. If it were up to me this site would still be how I found it last summer. Back in "the good old days". Haha! :P

Well you know what; Idk why but I just wanted to write that. I'll do a normal blog tomorrow.

:)

got bored. decided to write.

:)

So wow I hardly get comments anymore. That's depressing lol. Jk; I guess not getting on for 5 months will do that to ya. haha.

So today I have swam all day. I was swimming til almost 10 oclock tonight. Gahh I love it. :]

So I got on the Lost forum a few minutes ago. All I can say is...wow. :| What has happened to this place?! I won't go into specifics; wouldn't want to offend anyone. But if there's any intelligent being left on this site who likes LOST then please take a look at this::

http://s11.zetaboards.com/Hearts_And_Minds/index/

http://s4.zetaboards.com/Further_Instructions/index/

The first link will lead you to this quaint little place called Hearts and Minds. It's a LOST site. Yeah, it's small. It's a quiet little close knit type place. But it's got some nice people. I'm a mod there. And we're looking for some new members. So if you'd like to discuss LOST during this 8 or 9 month hiatus, then you're welcome there.

And the second link will take you to Further Instructions. Another LOST site. If you haven't yet, check it out. It really is a great site. If you want a place where you can actually have an intelligent conversation about LOST then pay us a visit. I guarantee that five members there are smarter than the ruins of this LOST forum. (woahh; sorry bout all the bashing. no hard feelings k.) Anyways, tons of forums, tons of people. And there's more than just LOST discussion. We talk about just about anything you can think of. hehe; for real. So if you'd actually be a regular member then join right up. Don't just join, post one time, and never come back.

Lmao that does it for our advertising portion of today's blog. Moving on to my Song Of The Day.

Used To - Daughtry

You used to talk to me like
I was the only one around
You used to lean on me
The only other choice was falling down
You used to walk with me like
We had no where we needed to go
Nice and slow
To no place in particular

We used to have this figured out
We used to breathe without a doubt
When nights were clear you were the first star that i'd see
We used to have this under control
We never thought we used to know
At least there's you
And at least there's me
Can we get this back?
Can we get this back?
To how it used to be

I used to reach for you
I got lost along the way
I used to listen
You always had the just right thing to say
I used to follow you
Never really cared where we would go
Fast or slow
To anywhere at all

We used to have this figured out
We used to breathe without a doubt
The nights were clearer for the first time that I'd see
We used to have this under control
We never thought we used to know
At least there's you
And at least there's me
Can we get this back?
Can we get this back?
To how it used to be

I look around me
And I want you to be there
Cause I miss the things that we shared
Look around you
It's empty and you're sad
Don't you miss the love that we had?

You used to talk to me like
I was the only one around
The only one around

We used to have this figured out
We used to breathe without a doubt
The nights were clearer for the first time that I'd see
We used to have this under control
We never thought we used to know
At least there's you
And at least there's me
Can we get this back?
Can we get this back?
To how it used to be yeah
To how it used to be

To how it used to be yeah
To how it used to be
To how it used to be

Pic of the Day = Benjamin :)

icons::

Quote:

[[listening to the radio. some annoying 70s pop song.]]

Me: Gahh what kinda music is this?!
Dad: Some homo elevator music.

Well g'night kids. Comments make me happy. :)

Sup? :)

So I felt like writing one of these things...mainly cuz I just like writing about my life. One of the few reasons I stay on this site. Lol. Plus all my friends of course :) Yeahh....those are I think the only 2 reasons I bother with this place lol.

So how are you wonderful people on this wonderful day? :) I'm good I have to say. It's so sunny and hot. I've been swimming for like 4 hours. Then I layed out in the sun. And now I'm in here writing away. :)

Let's see....yesterday:: I did pretty much the same;; swim && tan. :) Then I went and hung out with one of my new friends here. Then me and her went and hung out with my cousin and one of her friends. My new friend is 14. And my cousin and her friend are 17. Why I added that??...heck if I know. lol.

Oh yeahh I am 15 now;; obviously. Missed my b-day on here. I could've had a party on here. Lol. ahhhwells. So anyways, I been driving a lot. I actually don't have my permit yet; even tho I could've went and got it a good 3 and a half weeks ago. I been busy. So I think I'm gonna go next week and get it. Test is easy; it's like completely common sense. So say my friends. But if it's anything like the practice test...then I'm pretty sure a 6 year old could pass it.

So...tonight I'm gonna go hang with the same people I did last night. Fun fun. :)

So I'm sure you people are fed up with hearing me talk about guys by this point....BUT ima tell you anyways :D You guys are prob having flashback to my "Brandon obsession" days. I'm pretty embarassed I ever liked that loser to be honest. So let's just put that in the past and forget his name :) K?

So there's this guy Alex :) And you'll prob hear me talk about him a lot. :) I like him soooo sooo much. You just don't even know. Like, you guys may have thought I liked...what's his name [[ :P ]]....but I've never ever liked someone as much as I do Alex. :) Just so we're all on the same page...:: He's this guy and I met him in April. He lives down here and he's on the track team at the school I'll be going to next year. And I met him because we've been down here the past few months getting everything ready in our new house and stuff before we moved in. And checkin the place out. If ya get what I'm saying. ANYWAYS...he's 17 and gonna be a Senior this year [[*tear* I'm gonna cry my eyes out at graduation :( ]] Hmm..he is like 6 foot, dark brown almost black hair, he's on the football team too. And he's just the most gorgeous guy I've ever met lol. :]] Well prob not..but he's hot I can't lie. And he is incredibly hilarious. Probably the funniest person I know. And extremely sweet.

So anywho;; we've hung out a lot. And we talk every day. Either chat online or on the phone. AND we've kissed before! ♥ A couple times actually:D :D :D ...even tho we ain't dating [[darn :/ ]] He's one of my best friends for sure. So anyways, just give you guys the heads up. If I'm ever saying the name Alex...now you know who I'm talking about ;)

hehe. :]

Moving on to the...SONG OF THE DAY.

You Shook Me All Night Long - AC/DC [[only cuz Alex said this was mine and his song. lol..why?..idkk. hehe. :) ]]

She was a fast machine
She kept her motor clean
She was the best damn woman I had ever seen
She had the sightless eyes
Telling me no lies
Knockin' me out with those American thighs
Taking more than her share
Had me fighting for air
She told me to come but I was already there

'Cause the walls start shaking
The earth was quaking
My mind was aching
And we were making it and you -

Shook me all night long
Yeah you shook me all night long

Working double time
On the seduction line
She was one of a kind, she's just mine all mine
She wanted no applause
Just another course
Made a meal out of me and came back for more
Had to cool me down
To take another round
Now I'm back in the ring to take another swing

'Cause the walls were shaking
The earth was quaking
My mind was aching
And we were making it and you -

Shook me all night long
Yeah you shook me all night long

Pic of the Day

Woo! That'll be me here in bout 2 weeks :]] vaycay.

Video of the Day::

http://youtube.com/watch?v=oWETjFzJzMc

Icons::

Quote of the Day::

"If I wanted to go look thru a bunch of $hit I would just go look at the toilet.."

-my bro-

[[This lady was getting rid of her house and said that me and my brother might wanna look through some of her old stuff and see if we wanted anything...the above was my brothers response :| lol.]]

That's all for now kids;; seeyaa.

♥-ashley.

Aloha good people :]] Hehe. So I forgot how much I used to love writing these things. So what have you all been up to today? I've basically been swimming all day. And now I'm just rockin out to music. Like always. :]

So reading some of your guys' blogs I've noticed a lot of people are still in school. Gosh that sucks. I've been out since May 19th. How much longer do you guys have to go if you're not out yet??? :|

Remember once upon a time when I wrote the cast of LOST. :]] Well I've received 3 autographs so far. Yay. :]]

Here's the extremely talented Michael Emerson. His came at the end of March::

Then Matthew Fox's arrived on my birthday. What a great present. :]]

And Jorge Garcia's arrived a few days later::

Yehp yehp; exciting stuff kids. But since I've moved now if I get any other autographs they'll be mailed to my old house. But we're good friends with the people who bought it from us. So I've told them to mail em to me if I get any more. :]]

Song of the Day:: (oh you know you've missed my amazing taste in music. :]] )

Lithium - Nirvana

I'm so happy 'cause today I found my friends
They're in my head
I'm so ugly but that's ok, 'cause so are you
We've broke our mirrors
Sunday morning is everyday for all I care
I'm not scared
Light my candles in a daze 'cause I've found god

I'm so lonely
That's ok, I shaved my head
No, I'm not sad
And just maybe I'm to blame for all I've heard
I'm not sure, I'm so excited
I can't wait to meet you there
And I don't' care, I'm so horny
That's ok, my will is good

I like it, I'm not gonna crack
I miss you, I'm not gonna crack
I love you, I'm not gonna crack
I killed you, I'm not gonna crack
I like it, I'm not gonna crack
I miss you, I'm not gonna crack
I love you, I'm not gonna crack
I killed you, I'm not gonna crack

I'm so happy 'cause today I found my friends
They're in my head
I'm so ugly but that's ok, 'cause so are you
We've broke our mirrors
Sunday morning is everyday for all I care
I'm not scared
Light my candles in a daze 'cause I've found god

I like it, I'm not gonna crack
I miss you, I'm not gonna crack
I love you, I'm not gonna crack
I killed you, I'm not gonna crack
I like it, I'm not gonna crack
I miss you, I'm not gonna crack
I love you, I'm not gonna crack
I killed you, I'm not gonna crack

Kurt Cobain :]

Quote of the Day:

Kurt Cobain's "suicide" note -

To Boddah

Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complain-ee. This note should be pretty easy to understand.

All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years, since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I haven't felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guity beyond words about these things.

For example when we're back stage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowds begins., it doesn't affect me the way in which it did for Freddie Mercury, who seemed to love, relish in the the love and adoration from the crowd which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can't fool you, any one of you. It simply isn't fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I'm having 100% fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on stage. I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do,God, believe me I do, but it's not enough). I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. It must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they're gone. I'm too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasms I once had as a child.

On our last 3 tours, I've had a much better appreciation for all the people I've known personally, and as fans of our music, but I still can't get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There's good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too fu**ing sad. The sad little, sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man. Why don't you just enjoy it? I don't know!

I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what i used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I can't stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self-destructive, death rocker that I've become.

I have it good, very good, and I'm grateful, but since the age of seven, I've become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along that have empathy. Only because I love and feel sorry for people too much I guess.

Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I'm too much of an erratic, moody baby! I don't have the passion anymore, and so remember, it's better to burn out than to fade away.

Peace, love, empathy.
Kurt Cobain

Frances and Courtney, I'll be at your alter.
Please keep going Courtney, for Frances.
For her life, which will be so much happier without me.

I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU!

Anyone wanna debate about this??? :]

thats all for now kids; much love ;]

♥-ashley

Well I got bored and was like ya know what I think I'll write a blog;; cuz I love to rant hehe. Well so I was looking back through some of my old blogs. And I have been cracking up at some of the crap I wrote in them. It's funny how much things can change. For example:: I used to rant about this loser named Brandon. [[*gag me*]]. I did date him tho :/ For two months:: and then I dumped him. :]]

I saw this one blog where I was dissing the Beatles. OM to the G what was I thinking. Now I l-o-v-e the Beatles. hehe. Funny how things change.

Other things that have changed:: I'm an official Alabamian. Woo! :]] I moved states. Got some family that lives down here;; and there were some other things that happened. And anyways::...:: I like it okay down here.

Well there's no more Trivia thingie. hehe; I'm sure we all got that picture by now. :]]

Let's see....hmm...oh yeah:: I set 3 school track records this season. My very first track season eva. :]] Course I'll be on the team at my new school next year.

Well I really don't feel like posting song lyrics and music videos:: BUT;; I am listening to Ziggy Stardust. Pretty BA song I won't lie. By David Bowie. :]] Gawsh I was so born in the wrong generation. hehe. :]]

Well ya know what I really don't wanna type much more;; basically just wanted to post a blog. hehe;; sad i know right. Ahhwells:

I have missed youu guys! :]]

-♥-

Ashley :]]

OM to tha G! I almost forgot how to post a blog on here.

Well idk if anyone remembers me...but I'm that girl who wrote like page long blogs; and rambled on about LOST....ring a bell yet?

Anywho people; a lot's happened in these....however many months I've been gone; I've moved states for starters.

I'm still as obsessed with LOST and music as ever though.

I have so many messages on here idk what to do with myself. I'll reply to all ya'lls messages sometime though.

Well thats all I feel like putting right now.

Au revoir.