So there's that. I might return to this space and post some rigamarole. In the meantime, I'm writing reviews for GamingTrend (www.gamingtrend.com) so look me up there if you're interested.

Is it sad when you own a computer for three months, and are already wishing you could replace it?

Now, it would be downright infuriating if it was due to a technical problem. I would probably have marched over to the company, dropped it on their doorstep, and screamed bloody murder until they replaced it. Or at least this is what I would have done if I were Bizarro Lee and actually enjoyed confrontations or asserting myself.

No, this is for something much more insidious. I WANT A FASTER COMPUTER.

Is my computer fast? Oh yeah. It's fine. Really. I mean, it's faster than the last one I had by a good margin. Here's the problem:

I want SLI.

I really, really want SLI.

For the uninitiated, SLI is a feature on new motherboards which basically allows you to have two identical video cards working in tandem to provide huge benefits in video processing. What does this mean? Imagine that brand new game you bought with all the bells and whistles turned on, with crystal clear graphics. Nary a jagged line in sight.

A thing of beauty, right?

Now comes the hard part: Convincing my wife.

She enjoys video games to a degree. She thinks they're all right. She doesn't understand why I would want to zone out in front of a video game for hours, no matter how pretty it looks. She also doesn't understand why I would want to spend so much money on a computer thingy when it works perfectly fine right now.

I feel kind of guilty about this next part, so bear with me. I think I've taken to deliberately sabotaging this poor little computer.

Now, it's done nothing wrong. Believe me, this is a nice computer I have. Its only fault is its owner.

So I've started leaving the window open nearby it. At night. During rainstorms.

NOT ON PURPOSE.

My last few repairs have gone somewhat bad. A missed jumper here, maybe a little too careless with one of the drives there.

NOT ON PURPOSE.

At this rate, my computer is going to commit suicide rather than have such a careless owner. I'll find it hanging from the ceiling by its power cord with a printed note attached that says "YOUR FAULT."

The one big problem with computers is how harsh the upgrade cycle is. If you want the latest and greatest, you have to keep on top of it. You can't just buy a $4,000 computer and expect it to be the best for the next five years. You have to keep putting more and more new stuff in it. I try explaining this to my dear, sweet wife, but I merely get the response of, "It's fine right now, and you don't need to play any more video games. You've got enough as is."

Sigh. I guess I'll have to go home and practice juggling knives. Right over the computer.

So, I've been blogging at delayedgamer.blogspot.com, but no one reads it!  So, therefore, I am going to continue here.  No sense wasting good (ha!) writing, right?

Anyway, get ready for more worthless blatherings.

On the whole, the good thing about forum downtime is that it will cleanse the forums of unpleasant elements, like attention-seeking people, who are represented below:

I was going to be seriously upset if all of my posts were GONE.  However, they are here, and for that I am thankful.  I will now commence to dancing.

First off, I can't understand why anyone would hate on Mega Man. The games are spectacular. Even Mega Man 8 is a great acheivement, and not just because of the laugh-out-loud hilarious voice acting ("I'm Frost Man!" "Feel my power!"), but because everything is so TIGHT. I could bounce a quarter off this gameplay, I kid you not.

In other news, the Brewers are assured of their first non-losing season in 13 years. This makes me happy, because suffering through the Sal Bando years has lowered my expectations considerably, and having guys like Weeks and Fielder and Hardy and Hall makes you want to dance.

That's awesome! I didn't even notice. And if you're my friend, I promise I will never spam you. That's from the bottom of my heart (the apex), right near the inferior vena cava and left ventricle.

I want hair like this.

In other news, I just picked up Mega Man 8 for the PS1 and Jak 2. Mega Man 8 was 4 dollars. Jak 2? Five.

God, I'm good at finding deals.

...name me some handheld sidescoller games other than remakes or Castlevania on the GBA. I'll give you 5 seconds.

I win.

Edited because I'm stupid.

It occured to me: No one is going to make a platformer game like I want anymore. There's just no market for them. I'm just going to have to do the thing myself if I want a cool platform game.

Someday, I will get up the courage (or drink enough alcohol) to begin work on my magnum opus of a 2-D side-scrolling platformer. Until then, I'll keep playing Final Fantasy knockoffs to sate myself.