It occured to me: No one is going to make a platformer game like I want anymore. There's just no market for them. I'm just going to have to do the thing myself if I want a cool platform game.

Someday, I will get up the courage (or drink enough alcohol) to begin work on my magnum opus of a 2-D side-scrolling platformer. Until then, I'll keep playing Final Fantasy knockoffs to sate myself.