Luke got his trach out! He's doing just fine. He just started saying I don't need a trach anymore :)

Luke is doing well, on his way to getting his trach out very soon (no stenosis, no surgery needed).  Malachi is 8 months old and doing great.

12 weeks as of today (7-30) Due feb 17th!

Going to the doctor today....I'm probably pregnant. Not extremely surprising since I am against birth control....but God's timing has left me a bit curious. We'll see what the future holds, I feel optimistic that soon I won't be living in one bedroom at my parents house....praying for that anyway. And hopefully Luke will get his surgery before his brother or sister comes into the world. Ugg I feel sick....I haven't eaten yet because I'll probably have to get a blood test today too....packed a peanut butter sandwhich...sounds good right now....

Well this next wednesday (18th) he's getting his surgery. We thought they were just going to look down there and see how his scar tissue looks and if there is any damage from the too small trach tube. The doctor said while they are down there and he's knocked out they might as well do more than just look. (Of course i'm simplifying) It's not the surgery i talked about before (rib graft) but they will use a tool or laser the scar tissue out. Then they'll put a cancer fighting agent on it to try to prevent the scar tissue from growing back. I think it's called Mitomicin C. They've been useing it on Trach patients for 5 yrs. So we're praying that Luke wont need the bigger surgery after that and he'll get his trach tube out sooner than we thought. It'll be done at 1pm so I'd like to ask those who would like to pray for him please do, and others to please think about him on that day. Thanks guys.

I will get an appointment with a surgeon soon so i'll let everyone know whats up.

I have the best son in the world.

It's the greatest feeling getting a hug from my little guy. 

Well it's all done. I had the surgery today. I was put under, which was wierd. One second you're there and zap. I did dream though, but I can't remember what about. I dream a lot though, usually cool adventures which I have a feeling that it was one of those. Well I feel fine besides a scratchy throat from have a tube down there (which I wasn't awake to experience....it didn't sound like fun.) I'm on pain killers, so I don't know how I'll feel when I wake up tomorrow, but I've had major migranes and I did give birth so my tollerance for pain high. though I'm no superwoman, I did get an epidural (sp?) when I was giving birth. I had complete back labor....it wasn't fun, and my luke wasn't tollerating the contrations as well....so that worked out. I don't know how I got back to Luke....very easy, he's my life. I remember so many technical terms related to Luke, but I can't even remember what the procedure I had today was called. I can't exercise or other strenuous activities for three weeks, so i might finish the beanie I'm knitting for a friend. I'm going to catch up on reading up on current events too, and work on my bible knowledge, and maybe do some sketching. Okay i'm rambling....time to sign out.

I love this guy!

It's scary thinking I might not live that long. I'm not invincible, i could die tomorrow.... For so long I was suicidal, but recently I've decided that'll never be an action I will take. I want to be there for my son, I want to grow up, have a home...etc. I just found out I have severe cervical dysplasia (sp?) I'm going to have a biopsy tomorrow..today now. They're going to find out if I have cancer...it's ironic that just when I don't want to die, i just might. I'm not a pessimist, i don't think I'm doomed. I'm realistic that it just might happen. I don't want to leave my son. I'm afraid he wont be raised right. I'm also looking forward to having my own garden, decorating my own home. I haven't told my siblings or friends yet. My sister is so happy right now, I worry most about hurting everyone around me...they don't need to know until I find out the results of the biopsy. No need for them to worry about me for no reason right. I've been thinking about how I've touched people, you know....like did I make a difference in my life? Of course I could have many more years to come, and this will be an awakening. I will try harder, be nicer....yeah right...hehe. Maybe though....
well, i better get to bed. I hope the results don't take too long to come back...I've never been too patient.