Happy Easter Y'all! Whether you're a pagan friend of mine (or rebellious youth) who enjoys revelling in (or strongly referencing) the inherent fertility of Easter's symbolic trappings, or a hearty Christian who enjoys celebrating the return of Jesus as he let his followers know that he had truly elevated himself in the spiritual sense and that his suffering on their behalf had been for a very good cause. Either way all are welcome as over the past I have had friends from all extremes and, being something of a chameleon due to my tiny, tiny childhood size combined with moving around a lot, I've learned to accept a lot of folks for who they are and not try to change them in any way. 

Anyhoo...now that I actually have access to a computer and in the near future will be able to purchase one of my very own, I thought I might revisit some old habits such as creating an Easter "fun page" filled with all sorts of (hopefully) comic merriment as I have done in the past. But as I perused through Google pictures looking for an appropriately retro Easter header...oh, which would have looked thusly:

Not too shabby...a tad on the small side but as always I make an attempt to merge my love for old-fashioned pin-ups with whatever is the calendar theme of the day. Anyways whilst I was thumbing through the "retro Easter" pics that it culled up from the vastnessness of the Internet, I began noticing a decent amount of alarming and slightly disturbing pictures associated with the holiday; some intentional and some...not so much. Being still something of an ADD lad I decided to ditch my party blog and just lazily post some of the pics that caught my eye for your edification, amusement, or perhaps much to your regret for clicking on my abode. Enjoy?

I think the expression on the child says it all as, so stricken with apprehension it cannot even summon up the emotion of tears and terrors, stunned...it quietly ponders whether or not the giant expressionless bunny is about to consume it. 

"I swear by my hands some child will die by chocolate this very day"

OK let's face facts. You and I both have seen enough horror films to realize that either the kid is about to look for her last egg, or she is about to serve as a catalyst for some upspeakable horror beyond horror that's about to rip you apart in such a manner that all the police involved in investigating your murder will have nightmares to their dying days. Either way...you know it's not going to end good. 

If there's one picture on this blog that's going to stay with you and haunt you for days upon end until you slowly erase that memory with some very hard liquor, it's this one. 

One of the hardest kinds of retro pictures to find is live model Easter pin-up girls as, other than great pin-up painters like Vargas and Elvgren, it's amusing to think before Playboy, folks back then couldn't quite summon up the sexy when it came to bunny costumes. Hallowe'en...no problem. Christmas...sure, you want to open a present little boy? But girls in bunny costumes? Not a chance. This picture is made all the more frightening as she seems to be presenting the egg in a manner which indicates that it is the result of an unholy union you and her have both been a part of. There is no escape!

OK I'll admit that this one isn't disturbing nor particularly funny. I just find it amusing because back in them thar  pre-Hindenburg days pretty much everyone thought that traveling by Dirigibles was the wave of the future. But soon the tiny chicks will be leaping to their unknown fate surrounded by fiery carnage as their hopes of bringing us a happy Easter celebration is dashed along with the hopes of humanity. Oh the...oh wait, I just did that joke. Ah well...

And you thought when you died that at least your soul was free to rejoice in the afterlife. Think again. The Collectors have come. 

Is it just me or do you also wonder if, when you pull this colorful napkin out of its holder, that you expect to receive a generous portion of the poor bunny's guttyworks as well? Anyone? Well...I suppose I am something of a morbid lad. 

Just remember...if you make any noise, any noise AT ALL, no matter how small and they open their eyes...you're dead. Tread lightly my friend. 

Did I mention how difficult it was in the pre-Playboy days to make women in bunny outfits look sexy? Lord knows it wasn't as if there weren't some really hot women back in those days as, personally speaking, I'm quite fond of girls from the '20s and '30s. But again...the technology just wasn't there apparently. Oh sad unsexy sexy bunny girls with their very hot had heads. So sad. 

So that wraps up my minor attempt at amusing/terrorizing/boring your Easter day. I hope you all have a happy one whether you're church goin' or family gettin' together folks or even if you're just doing the same thing you did yesterday. For my part I unexpectedly have the day off and so I am resting my weary bones from the worst job I've ever had that's so physically exhausting that is may just kill me. But hey...it's a job even if it's just temp work and it puts a little money in my pocket which is more than I had a month ago. Have a good one everyone!