When I was litle (not sure if I was on first or second grade),the teacher said that we should have a objective,so we can don't lose our joy in learning.I took some time until I found mine and it was....... it was to make my cousin proud of me.At that time,he was the person I most admired,so I started working hard at studying,started having medium,then good,then almost always the best grades of the class,my classmates started calling me a genious,the professeurs that I was inteligent,but I just needed to talk alot more (still need to talk more).I'm only 16,and I think those were my golden years.....
Around fifth grade,I started feeling something weird about my cousin,whenever he was near me,I felt unease like he was a complete stranger,later on I heard one of my parents' conversation about my cousin,saying that he had a cancer and that he was doing treatment.At that point,my head started being more concerned about life instead of school,so my grades when down a litle during his treatment time.I felt reliefed when I heard,he was good,but that sensation didn't last long.I don't remenber exacly when he went to live with my grandparents from my dad's side,but when I saw him for the first time after he finished his treatment,I felt something was wrong,that he wasn't my cousin anymore,but a demon insde his body.I wanted to talk with some one about it,but I felt no one would believe me.I didn't wanted for my parents to find out,my feeling,because I felt they would send me to a phicology hospital,so I prenteded to be alright with many friends,but the true is that I as all alone......
That sensation grow stronger and stronger till one day,my parents received a call.My cousin,..........(or should I say that demon that controlls' my cousins body?),had been hitting my grandparents,the neighbours had called the police and he was arrested.My parents couldn't believe it,they were really shocked,but I wasn't suprised like them,I already knew deep down,I knew about it..........This happened around eight grade,I think,that's when I completely stopped thinking about studying,since my objective was gone and started thinking on a way to help my cousin and my falling apart family.This situation of my cousing beating up my granparents from my dad's side kept going,they made my grandad,trying to suicide himself some months ago.For all I know these abuses can be still going on,right now and I still don't know what to do to stop them.It makes me feel useless,agressive against abuses,and mad because my classmates are more worried in what to wear instead on these more important issues.I don't need to say,that I'm not caring about school now,so my grades are kinda down and still some classmates keep saying I'm a genious,which make me angry and depressed......since I sense it,the smell of death coming from my granparents's house.............I have to prentend I'm alright,though I feel my hearting dying from suffering.......I have to prentend my heart's warm,but it's cold like ice
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