I read something on a Cleveland Indians message board today about the difference between fans of the Noo Yawk Yankees and Bahstan Red Sawks. I'm gonna paraphrase a little (actually quite a bit) and add a few insults (oops, I meant observations) of my own.

First,the similarities. Yes, they are similar in some ways. You could say that the Yankee fan and the Red Sawks fan are brothers in that obnoxious and arrogant rich family that lives just down the road or up the hill in Anytown, USA. They each think the world revolves around their teams and none of the others. Neither of them think another team exists besides theirs and they can't understand why ESPN wastes 10 minutes of Baseball Tonight talking about the other teams in MLB when they could spend the entire hour talking about Noo Yawk and Bahstan.

Now the differences:

Yankee Fans-They're the older brother in that arrogant, obnoxious rich family. He drives a fancy car and flaunts his money all the time. Thus, he's able to attract a lot of hot chicks with dollar signs in their eyes. Sort of the way the Yanks always hit the free agent market. He's the center of the universe and the sun rises and shines on him. Won't give anyone the time of day and would poor water on a drowning man. Thinks he's entitled to everything because of past family successes.

Red Sawks Fans-They're the bratty younger brother in that arrogant, obnoxious rich family. Jealous as hell of big brother and his so-called success and scoring ability with the hot chicks. Determined to out do big brother but frequently makes a complete assclown of himself trying to do so. Stays drunk a lot and bad mouths big brother every chance he gets. But he's also a complete snob and also thinks the sun rises and shines on him. Always brags about the hot chicks he's going to score with and the successes (or championships) he's going to winbut never seems to get as many trophies as big brother.

There you have it, folks. The Noo Yawk and Bahstan fan.