Have you ever screamed at your hero in a video game? Sure you have. Not because a gang of baddies rolled up on them and "popped a cap", but for doing something extrremely stupid. I was just playing Tomb Raider Anniversary and I realized that Laura Croft is about damn dumb-tarded. I went to jump a simple gap and she wouldn't reach out and grab the ledge. What's that all about? Laura, sweetheart, we need to talk...you've already jumped this ledge before, but you couldn't sem to grapple the hook and fell to your death. Now why do you feel the need to continue falling to your death at this ledge you passed 5 minutes ago? Do we need too take a break? Is there something I need to know? Really...what is the world coming to when our protagonist can't perform the same task multiple times? Practice makes perfect...not complete idiots.

We've all had scenerios like this...our hero or heroine just can't seem to make a jump, ran out of bullets in their favorite machine gun, or performed some other brilliant maneuver that has you cursing worse than a Wu Tang Clan concert. I love playing third-person shooters and targeting someone across the field and another opponent walks up and smacks you in the back of the head. I'll always enjoy watching a character continue a combo move when the first hit lands, knocking the enemy off to the side, and the rest of the combo is flailing in the air, all the while the bad guy is laughing at you and waiting for that moment to shoot you in the back. This is where most scream "turn around idiot!". Then there's always the sports games...no matter what sport you play, someone on the team cannot pass. You go for a touchdown pass in Madden and the ball lands somewhere in the bleachers, the left-fielder throws to home instead of second base, or your goalie tosses right to the opposing team. Aren't these guys paid thousands to pros? So why don't they play like it?

So here's my proposal...Hero University. It''ll be the next great "sim" game where you take your favorite hero back to school to learn how to do the job he or she is supposed to do. Teach Simon Belmont to swim and Niko Bellic how to drive. I'm sure there are more than a few of you who would love to take Master Chief back to school to learn how to make more efficient head-shots. And who says you can't teach old dogs new tricks? Mario and Laura Croft could use a little refresher in long-distance jumping, and Pac-Man could build a little speed on the outdoor track. It would all be available in Hero Universty. Choose a certificate program in target shooting, high-speed chase driving, fencing, spelunking, martial arts, item/inventory management, TV/VCR/DVD repair, sports efficiency, or get a degree in strategic warfare or accounting. Once your hero or heroine is outfitted for the right job, load them back into your favorite game and enjoy more precise controls and greater success all courtesy of Hero University...training your heroes to be their very best.