Not a blog and I'm not gonna spend alot of time on this. If I play another game where they "cleverly" title a town or part of the map Morningwood or Mourningwood I am going to take that video game and, whatever its equivalent to technology would be, scalp it alive. It's not clever, its not funny. You're beating a dead horse over and over again and its an extremely sh*tty joke. I'm sick of you developers throwing in 69's, this, and whatever stupid ass sexual inuendos you can think of to appeal to 14 year old boys. You're not funny, you don't have the social aptitude to be funny. This is why you make video games, and by puting things like this into your games it only reinforces the geeky and completely useless stereotypes of gamers. Just give up with the horrible attempts at humor and try to actually make a good game.

It was bad. Quite possibly one of the most overrated movies of the past year. I get what the whole point was. Someone wanted to make the ballet Swan Lake into a movie, but no gives a Sh*t about ballet so they had to stuff in sex scenes with Natalie Portman to make it somewhat enjoyable. And you know what? Those werent' even good. They were awkward and it felt like I was walking in on my cute, adorable, innocent cousin gettin railed by Billy Zane. Why the hell is he there!? How did he meet my cousin!? AND WHERE THE F**K ARE MY CHEETOS!!!!!???

In any case, Portman plays Nina, a ballet dancer who has committed her life to dancing and wants the lead part in Swan Lake but is too innocent to play the Black (aka slutbag) Swan. For some reason only one dancer can do two parts. You see the swans are sposed to be twins but it doesn't make sense when the movie spends a good amount of time making Mila Kunis (slutbag) look like Padme. So, Padme sluts it up in order to be perfect for the role, only problem is she's also batsh*t crazy and spends half her life living through acid flashbacks.

So the movie turns into a sloppy mess, what's real and what isn't? Well I'll tell you whats not real, my erection this movie was supposed to give me cuz I'm too damn freaked out from fingernails popping out of peoples hands, blood being where it shouldn't and f***ing ballet. WHAT THE HELL!? WHAT DID I JUST WATCH!!!??? It's going from Portman's legs literally snapping in two in places they shouldn't to her ballet instructor coping a lengthy feelski on her whooha to drug induced clubbing to her mom throwing a cake away. WHATS GOING ON!!!! THIS IS WHAT MAKES GOOD MOVIES THESE DAYS!?? THIS WILL WIN AWARDS!!?? IVE GOT ENOUGH SEX CRAZED INSANIACS HAGGLING ME ON THE STREET I DONT NEED THIS SH*T Good god. Movies now are awful, especially this. I don't know what the purpose was for making this or going to see it. There is none and I wish I could burn this thing and send it to hell where it belongs...(along with EA)

About 5 minutes into playing Rockstar's newest release, Red Dead Redemption, I noticed something funny. While beating a hooker to death and looting her lifeless rotting corpse I figured out just what made Rockstar games so popular. No, it isn't the extreme abuse against women or the overall disregard of the law, that's just daily life in the burbs. It was the overdone story arc that I had caught on to that really made me say, "Hm, I think I'll make a hot pocket." You see I needed a break from the same old structure Rockstar keeps smashing my face in with. Instead I decided I'd smash my face with some lard enhanced ham and unearthly cheese to dilute the redundancy of the open world games I had come to love but now shrug upon.

Going back to GTA III, to the first instance you can remember of rocking back and forth in a car with a kind woman who you paid to join in on your epileptic car seizures (trust me that's what really went down), Rockstar has used the same story progression in all their open world games. Here I am to bestow upon you this amazing information.

"Hey, I'm about to drop some LSD, I just need a spotter to watch my convulsions."

-Main character with a sorted past ends up in a new place and unfamiliar place, if not new then he's shot. Thats just the price you gotta pay these days. Main character has been double crossed by someone they'd least expect, and now is out for blood (depending on whether or not Rockstar decides to jump on the vampire bandwagon the blood thirst may be literal in near future). Meet eccentric character's who make you do odd jobs in exchange for favors which slowly progress to you getting that sweet, nutritious blood. But wait, after you get the man you've been looking for all along you find out its not that simple, you're double crossed again, losing the life of a loved one/person who you're kinda close to (if you were to see them walking down the street you'd probably feel obliged to nod even though deep down you don't really want to because you still owe them that meal at Outback Steakhouse). So, you go back and kill whoever double crossed you again. END

P.S. many haphazard roadblocks which permit you from entering what in reality would be very accessible locations will appear, but not for long, working for people cures roadblockedge (it's even in medical journals now). Also, sometimes you're highly allergic to water, causing immediate death on contact.

Yea...guess no commuting to work! Too bad, Saks was having a sale too.

Yep, that's pretty much it. Feel free to think about it, or look up plot synopses. When it comes down to the bare bones however, this is pretty much it. I'm looking for Rockstar to switch things up soon. Hopefully, they bite on that vampire idea...pun definitely intended.