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Matthew_Kaeser Blog

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I realize it has been months since I made a blog entry, but I have gone through a lot of physical and emotional pain lately... :(

Justa few months ago, Imovedto Savannah, Georgiafrom North carolina, my wife and I are seperating, and I have never felt so alone in my life. I really need to go out and meetpeople and make some new friends. It's just so hard to do the older I get. So, throw some sympathy my way, everyone... cause I love you all so much.

---Matthew

My Daughters

I thought I'd include a picture of my three wonderful daughters for your viewing pleasure:

[The picture is a year old]

My oldest is Ashley (8 years old, left), then Alyssa (7 years old, right) and Kelly (5 years old, middle)

-- Edited just for Sunsha :p

Today is the Day...

...I reached 10,000 posts. What does this equate to exactly? I am unsure, but do know I love my time spent here at GameSpot and enjoy conversing with the community--well, most of the community. :P

Party On!!!

Dane Cook Kills...

...his audience that is. He is one of the most talented new--although he has been doing stand-up for 15 years--comics to grace our television in a long time. He has a great personality and perfect timing, which are two of the most crucial aspects of making a great stand-up comic. If you go to his website, he has a large video collection of his performances and interviews. It should provide you with a couple hours of pure entertainment.

On a side note, Dane appeared in the movie, Waiting. Has anyone here seen this movie and is it worthy of a rental?  

I Want My Wife Back...

I don't normally discuss truly private issues with others online... let alone on a video game website... but I don't know where else to turn. I'll attempt to start at the beginning, so please bare with me.

I met my wife fifteen years ago when she was 15 and I was 20 at Dominos Pizza which is where we both worked. We engaged in a short-lived relationship which lasted merely three months during the summer of '91 and was abruptly ended by her parent's dislike of our age difference (among other things.) We settled our differences, and I agreed to not see their daughter any further, which I honored. We both went our separate ways, had additional relationships with others, and I even moved from the city where we met.

We both continued to work for Dominos Pizza and build on our careers, both becoming general managers for different franchisees. Five years has passed at this point--making us 20 and 25 years old--and coincidently we both decided to pursue starting our own Dominos franchise. We were required to attend training classes both in Atlanta and Ann Arbor, MI, where we met up with one another once again and had a spectacular reunion, even though we were currently both in dead-end relationships. I suppose you could say it was destiny--as corny as that may sound--and we have been together ever since.

Our relationship/marriage spawned three beautiful daughters and I continued to work as the general manager as we both decided not to partake in purchasing our own Dominos at the time... six years back together now and our relationship still always felt... fresh... exciting... we were madly in love with one another. 

Then, out of no where, I was laid off from my job of 13 years... my career, which I labored and moved up the company line to obtain the general manager position for a high-volume store which was ranked in the top 100 stores out of 7,000 in terms of sales... I fell into a deep depression and had a difficult time relating to my wife who was still working at the same company (although a different franchisee) which had turned their backs on me. She would come home from work and talk about her day, but unknowingly I guess I tuned her out... not really interested in anything relating to Dominos, the people or her daily routine.

It has now been three years since I lost my job, and I am in the process of getting my life back together. I have been going to school now for a year to obtain my Bachelor's degree in computer programming, which should provide me with an exciting new career path. My wife on the other hand, has continues to work for Dominos and is now working for corporate evaluating 800+ stores a year, which keeps her away from me and the family 4 - 5 days a week... every week.  

In the meantime, my wife has become increasingly addicted to MMORPGs, first with Star Wars Galaxies and now with World of Warcraft. She has made several new online friends through these games and tends to play them any free chance she gets, including the three days a week she is at home. We never have the opportunity to spend any time with each other anymore--I feel she no longer wants to--and I am growing increasingly more and more concerned about her online activities. Anytime I try to talk to her while she is playing, she is usually very short with me and waves me away, as if I am annoying her.

Recently, I have talked to her about how I feel about the fact that she is not only neglecting me, but the kids as well, and she mentioned that she has "strong hatred" towards me... from the way I shut her out when I first lost my job. I didn't intend to shut her out... but rather, I guess I was disgusted in hearing anything relating to the company. She has told me that she loves me, but there is a difference in loving me, and being in love with me.

I still love her so much and am getting increasingly worried that our once perfect marriage is now on the verge of divorce and I  am scared. Why can't things just go back to the way they were? I want my wife back...

Anatomy of a Method

Well, I'm halfway through my May term, and while my grades are decent, I feel as if I'm not totally grasping the concept of programming in C# (pronounced: see sharp) and C++ . I find myself constantly referring to the text book for the correct syntax to use for my assignments, and even then, I get confused when defining method signatures and introducing new variables within a given method.  

I am beginning to think that a traditional class room setting would be more beneficial to my learning opposed to taking the classes online, but that is not even an option, unless I sell my kids (Hmm... did I just say that? :lol: )  I better begin to fully understand this introduction to programming, as my future classes will just build upon what has already been taught. Grrr... Back to the books I go...

March Term Finally Over

Well, I have successfully finished my March term at Westwood and while the ending grades aren't posted yet, I should end up with an 'A' in UNIX/Linux Operating Systems and a 'B+' in Algebra II. Not too bad, I guess.

My next term begins on May 24 (which just so happens to be my 9th year anniversary) and I will be taking Fundamentals in Programming and Software Development Life Cycle. Within these courses I will finally be learning how to code in C/C++. I am so glad my preliminary courses are over and I can begin working on my major. :D

Back To School...

I'm 34 years old and have made a crucial life decision. I have finally decided to go back to school and get my batchelor's degree in science. Being the father of three daughters and working full-time, the only viable option was to find an online school which met my demands. After searching for quite some time I decided to go with Westwood College out of Denver. They are an accredited school and I became rather impressed with their dedication to the students. I will be receiving a BS in Game Software Development if all goes well. I will truly embark on a career which should provide personal satisfaction.