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Max_Hydrogen Blog

Choco Taco

HELP HELP, SOMEONE PLEASE HELP! I'VE LOST IMAGINARY POINTS THAT I NEVER ASKED FOR AND DON'T GIVE A PHUCK ABOUT...I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN LIVE AGAIN...

WHAT THE F*CK IS WRONG WITH GAMESPOT? YOU GUYS ARE REAL AS*HOLES.

I'M DONE WITH YOU F*CKERS.

GAMESPOT GETS BLAP BLAP BLAP NOW HAND ME MY CHOCO TACO YOU WORTHLESS STUPID JERKS

CANCEL MY F*CKING ACCOUNT, YOU MORONS AREN'T WORTH IT.

LONG LIVE GIANTBOMB!!!!!!!

Gertsmann, Gertsmann, Gertsmann!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Are you out of your f*cking mind Gamespot?!!!!!!! What the hell is wrong with you?!!!

I recieved a modertor warning because I mentioned Jeff Gertsmann's name in a post and you delete the comment and give me a warning. That's childish and ridiculous.

You threaten to reduce my points. OH NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!! Like I give a rats ass you jerks! You know what? Gamespot just lost a lot points with me!

I'll make sure never to invoke the unspeakable one again, for fear of losing imaginary points that have no effect on real life and serve only to soothe the fragile ego of meganerds who never got over getting beat up in highschool.

Good for you Gamespot!

The Return of A Legend!

Max is back baby!!


That's right! After a long dark hiatus, I have returned to the promised land to pour forth my earthly wisdom that ye may sup eagerly at my rigid bosom and come to know a deeper understanding of life.

To paraphrase a coherent orator from parts unknown:

"For a man to truly find himself,

He has to go to a place we're all entitled to go to...

DEEP

DEEP

DEEP

IN THE MIND!

In the 2 and a half years in which I have been absent,

There is one thing that would not die...

THE VOICES!!

You spoke to me! (Pointing to the left)

You spoke to me! (Pointing to the right)

ALL OF YOU spoke to me!! (Pointing at you)"

Indeed my fall from grace has been steep and hard. My exile into the wasteland was a torment to behold. I wandered the desert in search of a guiding light which would show me the way to redemption. Living without the Internet was a crass ignominy which I have burdened with all my strength.

But now, now that I have returned to you, oh my children, I feel a grateful nostalgia for those bygone halcyon days of yore. I'm back on Gamespot and there ain't nothin' you can do about it!

During that time, I have regrettably loss faith. I speak of the cardinal belief I once had as a child, the belief that Nintendo was Good, Pure and Righteous. I was loyal, as all Men should be. Loyal to a company that changed the world and the way we live. An institution that prided itself on quality and built it's reputation on integrity. But it's legacy has born sour fruit. The one Video Game enterprise on which I could always count is but a mere shadow of itself, a spectre which does not deserve the name. Nintendo has become what it once stood against: a corporate machine interested solely in profit, no more, no less.

I lay heartbroken and devoid of hope. What does my bleak future hold?



Isaiah Triforce is a king amongst men.

Isaiah Triforce is the quintessential, archetypal Nintendo fan and we can all learn something from this man.

As I have reiterated before, Nintendo (as opposed to Sony and Microsoft) means something. It is the reason we have home consoles today. Twenty years of tradition (although it is slipping into typical corporate modus operandi) have fostered loyal fans who go the extra mile in their appreciation of an institution that has forever impacted culture and the way we experience our lives.

Isaiah Triforce is the primordial example of this and deserves to be first North American Wii purchaser. Nintendo's legacy shall be better cherished in the future when people will be more capable of comprehending its profound impact.

Faithful devotees like Isaiah Triforce remind us of what we stand to lose be letting Nintendo degenerate into just another enterprise bent on maximizing profit to the detriment of gaming.

Jack Thompson

Jack Thompson is a paranoid idiot.

For all those who haven't heard about Jack Thompson, check Gamespot's article about how this self-described christian lawyer verbally attacked a judge for allowing the shipment of a violent Video Game.

Thompson stated that Video Games are directly responsible for acts of murder. He accused the judge of ruling against him out of spite and secretly laughing about it and that he would be laughing when he (Thompson) brings him a parent, and I quote, "whose kid is in the ground because another kid was trained to kill him.."

These are the people who want to censor what you have access to: paranoid  drama queens  who'll say anything for attention. Have ever noticed that people who want to be in charge create a bogeyman who's after your children to justify their authority? We see all the time. Thompson claims that Video Games "train" people who to kill and therefor must be censored. Well, in actuality, the only places where people are trained who to kill are the police and the military and they are the pillars of the conservative society Jack Thompson wants to protect from Video Games.

Here is  a sample of what paranoid Thompson said to the judge: "How dare you, judge, promise a hearing today and prevent that hearing from occurring. How dare you judge, petulantly order the production of the game after it is released on Tuesday morning. I didn't even ask for that. You did that out of spite, and you were smiling when you did that. You really enjoyed that one didn't you judge. Next time you promise a hearing, I'll bring a parent with me whose kid is in the ground because of a kid who trained to kill him or her on a violent Video Game. Try mocking that person, I dare you."

This guy's insane! Another narcissistic, self-glorifying, self-appointed Liebermann. (Incidentally, I know Liberman is spelt with only one M. It seems appropriate to me that some you wants decree what morality is and force people to abide by it should have two Ms at the end of his name, kind of like spelling America with a K.)

These defenders of morality are more concerned with being as dramatic and extreme as possible to ensure they stay in the limelight by having people write about them i.e. I've wasted enough time on that paranoid jerk!   


Video Game Music

I love Video Game Music.

I like because it's original and well composed. It blows my mind that the older generations have no idea that tones of mellifluous music is out there.

I rank Koji Kondo and Nobuo Uematsu right up there with Beethoven and Mozart.

Early VGM was criticized for it's limitations but I like because of it's limitations. I love the sound of 8-bit sine-waves and the quintessentially Japanese A-B-A melodies. The electronic pulses and dashes imbue the music with it's own unique feeling and of course, because I was young when I first heard those tunes, they will always be associated with childhood quaintness. I also find it impressive that with a limited capacity and a maximum of four notes at once, some of the early VGM can evoke such emotion and depth and really add to the games.

I find that the core Japanese emotion of melancholy is best expressed musically by the genius Nobuo Uematsu.

Koji Kondo is the Chopin of VGM. His music is catchy without being insubstantial, it truly is impressive to recall all the games he has scored; none of the them could possibly be the same without his music.

It is a shame that in North America, VGM is not taken seriously. I look forward to the day when VGM will be as commonly played on radio and television as any other genre. Perhaps with more industry composers like Harry Gregson-Williams composing for Games will it be noticed more by non-gamers, you don't have to play Video Games to enjoy the music, I have music from games I don't even know.

In my opinion VGM is some of the best music being produced right now and you can bet your last BFG that I will to travel to Japan, a nation that knows how to appreciate VGM and attend a live, orchestrated VGM concert and stock up on Soundtracks I could never find here.

What's some of your favorite VGM?

Joe Liebermann.

I'm happy Joe Liebermann lost the Connecticut primary.

Lieberman and his kind (see Hillary Clinton) spew their mendacious ilk and manipulate people's concern for their children in order scare them for the purpose of gaining power.

Growing up in the late 80's and the 90's, I vividly remember the demonizing campaigns and witch hunts conducted against Video Games. The older generations who could not understand new technology used Video games as a scape goat to vent all their resentiment and frustrations even though they committed far worse in their youth, need I even site the 60's?

Millions of tax dollars are still being wasted on B.S. studies trying to prove that Video Games cause violence. Ha! What a crock. I can't believe intelligent people could entertain such a phony and ridiculous notion!

Last time I check there was far more violence hundreds and even thousands of years before the glorious advent of Video games. Hundreds of thousands of people died in wars between ancient empires, the Mongols swept across the known world, four million people died in the Napoleonic Wars, nine million in World War One, fifty five million in World War Two, the twentieth century was the bloodiest and everyday life use to be much more violent; indiscriminate murder and rape abounded and ALL OF THIS HAPPENED BEFORE VIDEO GAMES WERE EVEN CONCEIVABLE!!!!

Doesn't Joe Liebermann know his history? Can he seriously correlate the Crusades with Mario or Jack The Ripper with Pikachu? The world, at least the West, is much less violent now than before Video Games and more people are alive now than ever.

How do these fear mongering opportunist explain that? How do they account for the fact that people have committed acts of violence when Video Games didn't even exist?

People are so hateful and full of resentiment that they can easily be persuaded to believe, blame and hate anything, there are to many historical examples to site.

The rational truth is that someone playing Video Games is as likely to commit an act of violence as someone who doesn't. Any pseudo-scientific half-attempt at implying the opposite is preposterous. Just because someone who has done something wrong has played a violent Video Game does not mean that they were compelled or influence by it.

What these politically correct slugs can't admit is that violence and nastiness are innate human instincts present from birth and that everyone, iin one form or another, express their will to power and animal joy. They can't face that reality so they blame Video games instead. What garbage!

This issue concerns me because there are a lot of people out there who want to censor you and what you have access to; a moral elite who reserve the right to force upon us their standard of acceptability and if we don't stand up to them, they're gonna walk all over us.

This situation is a reenactment of the 1960's attack of Comic Books. In the 60's, the American Congress wasted a lot of money on hearings aimed at determining the "decency" of Comic Books and plans were made to BAN them and by consequence, Comic Books censored themselves and produced a forgettable decade of cappy 70's comics.

The same thing happened in the 90's when Congress wasted a lot of money trying to ban Video Games. What scares me is that ego-maniacal politicians and self-appointed  "community defenders"  use Video Games to portray themselves as public protectors, inflating their egos, gaining political power and lying to ordinary people about the evils of Video Games. So far, the self-censoring in Video games in the form of the ESRB has not produced a generation of effete, mediocre games... yet.

If we allow these fiends to run wild, what will they censor next? They already want to censor television, why not books and the clothes we wear, hey, why not measure people's skulls to determine if they are likely to commit a crime?

Hey Liebermann, did Bing Crosby play Video Games before beating the crap out of his kids? Well, did he... ANSWER ME DAMN IT!!!!

All this smells a lot like the S-3 Plan from MGS 2. In the end, those who make themselves appear as good intentioned, righteous up-holders of the Correct Way simply want to control our minds and lobotomize us into thinking happy thoughts and being nice and especially never ever ever question them and the things they do, after all, they know what's best and they're doing it for our own good of course!

In conclusion, all our base are belong to them.
Max Hydrogen