Okay...I'm not legit done with this planet. :P I can't be...or else I'd die...obviously. :P But...I legit said that a little while ago and I was legit serious. Okay...this is actually somewhat serious but I'm hoping that it can get to the point where I can treat it as a joke. So...all week I've been in a pretty bad mood. No real reason...I've just been in a bad mood and I can't really help it. It's just been a bunch of stupid little things and eventually all that anger builds up and you become a monster sort of thing. :P Or...at least...that happens to me...I know I've been working on controlling my temper because I do have a quick temper but I legit cannot help it at times...if I get p*ssed off enough I can't think too well anymore and I make some questionable decisions. :P But...let's talk about this issue. Well...GSA was invited to an Impact meeting after school on Friday because they were having a discussion on sexual identity and straight privlidge and whatnot and they wanted some peoples who really know what they're talking about to be there and GSA would be perfect for that. And honestly...we were...there were a fair amount of things that only us GSA peoples knew that was vital to this conversation. So...we were definately a huge help. :D And the meeting was really fun because we had some games to play and surveys and conversations and whatnot. :D And some of the members of Impact thanked us GSA peoples and actually offered to help us out with anything if we needed it since we epicly helped them out. We had an idea...Impact could help us organize the Day of Silence further down the road a little bit...since they're a much bigger organization than GSA they could definately help us get the word of it out and maybe help us when we do our lecture about the Day of Silence to make sure that people do it for the right reasons. :D But...anyways...the meeting ended wicked late...like around 5...and I didn't get home until about 6 and my mom was wicked p*ssed off at me and took my cellphone (Oh Zeus...I was ready to freaking shoot her!). She was apparently upset because I didn't call her telling her that I'd be home way later than usual...either way she was gonna be p*ssed off at me. So...then my dad came to pick me up on Saturday and we got into a massive argument within five minutes of me being there so he kicked me out and I had to walk over a mile home. How fun! And during the first snowstorm of the year. I'm still physically spent from it all...right now I'm just about physically and emotionally spent. And when I got home my mom thought that it was all my fault and made me apologize to my dad...I feel that I did nothing wrong...so I just told him what ever the Hell he wanted to hear so I wouldn't be in trouble. So...things are cleared up with my dad. My mom's still kinda ticked off at me and I'm not sure when I'm getting my cellphone back...hopefully tomorrow. But...before anything got patched up...I was so furious and I was upset with myself and then I began to say all this stupid stuff to myself like: "I'm a monster to society. I shouldn't be alive. Why don't I just kill myself and get it over with? Everyone else will be much happier." Yeah...the thought of suicide crossed my mind...dunno why...but only for a short period of time...then I remembered that I promised everyone that I'd never do anything to hurt myself ever again after that issue with Dan so...yeah. Then I came to the conclusion that I was done with people and society...which basically means that I'm done with this planet. So...that's where the joke came from. I don't find it too funny at the moment...but I'm hoping that it will get to the point where I can treat it like a joke. Right now things at home have calmed down which is better and I'm trying to be in a good mood but beneath it all I'm so p*ssed off and I'm ready to strangle both my parents. I really should get a punching bag and put it in my room...that might help with my anger issues at times. I really should do that... That's what I'm doing after I'm done with this blog...buying a punching bag. So...yeah...things have calmed down but I feel like my entire weekend was ruined because my parents had to be two freaking *ssholes...but...what can I do? I can't help it if my parents suck, now I can I? I sound so defeated saying that. What's wrong with me?! A few years ago I would've been so rebellious and just continued to let them hate me until I got my way...and it almost always worked. Am I growing up? Am I realizing that my life sucks and there's nothing I can do about it? Oh Zeus...this is sad in my opinion...my rebelliousness is slowly but surely fading...soon it won't be there at all...then I'll begin to conform to society's expectations of me. Oh Zeus...this sucks... Wait...I think I'm just being overdramatic. If not I'm scared to see where I'll be in a few years though...Well...let's get on with this blog. And...please don't be mad at me...I've had enough peoples be mad at me all weekend...I don't need another person or two to do the same.

Well...since my weekend was just about ruined...I have nothing to talk about because my life sucks at the moment. Honestly...even though things have calmed down...my ego is crushed...I'm still p*ssed off...and my mom's gonna be even more of a helicopter parent than she normally is. Wonderful! I'm sorry I'm in such a bad mood...I just really need to vent and I'm just really p*ssed off and I can't help it. Right now I legit think being dead and having my shade in the Abominable Sands would be much better. Well...today I do have some plans so I can get out of the freaking house before I strangle someone. Jenna and I are gonna go see a movie and then go back to her place so we can talk. I'm sure she wants to know why I've been in such a bad mood all weekend and I haven't been able to talk to her too much because my mom took my freaking cellphone. Oh Zeus...shoot me... I'm sure all these thoughts of suicide and killing people and just being p*ssed off will stick with me for a month or so. But...on a positive note...I've gotten like 30 emails in the past few days...about 25 of them are from colleges who want me to look into them and maybe apply when I'ma Senior at BLS. Oh Zeus...that makes me feel so smart...I'm getting stuff from a few Ivy League colleges and from some good local colleges like Boston University and Simmon's College which is right next to BLS...legit...not kidding. And there was one other college that I can't remember the name of but it's really cool and I'd love to go there but it's in freaking Ohio! :lol: :P No! :P Well...it makes me feel smart. :P It's just annoying though...this is getting me wicked stressed out now...and since I have a wicked high GPA for a BLS student of a 3.8 (that's wicked high for BLS...and most colleges recognize that at BLS all our classes are the equivalent of honors classes at any other school so they boost it by .5...so when you do that to my GPA it's a 4.3 which is equivalent to an A+. :D :P ) and my PSAT scores were wicked good...I know I'm getting way more emails than some of my friends...like I'll mention that I got an email from some randomwicked good college and some peoples don't know what I'm talking about because they didn't get the email. Well...yeah...I guess that's gonna make my college search in the future much harder for me. :P But it seems like Simmon's College is wicked interested in me...they gave me all these links to help me out with my college search stuff and they said that since I'm smart I'd probably be put in their Honor's Program...sounds interesting. And they apparently have a wicked good medical school. Of course...my dreams of going Ivy League are still there and those will be the first colleges I apply to. :P Well...I shouldn't think too much about this...I still have 2 and a half years to go before I graduate and right now my main focus should be getting my issues at home fully under control and keeping my grades up. :D :P So...yeah...that definately put me in a better mood and hopefully tonight when I go on a date with Jenna I'll feel much better. :D So...yeah...I guess I'm feeling better now. :D :P Oh, and me and the rest of Sutrom Tse Suut Oed were looking for private lessons...I've found a few peoples who can give me private drum lessons (of course it costs money...but I promised my mom that I'd pay for them and I plan to do so. :D ) but there's one person who sounds like he'll be wicked helpful and doesn't have a criminal record or anything like that...so I'm gonna be getting my private drum lessons soon. :D :P So...yeah...I'm hoping I can be in a better mood soon. :D :P And now I should probably end this blog...it's wicked long. :P Arrivederci. -MightyBFan25 (Alicia)