I got a new free phone since I was at my 2-year contract renewal with Verizon. I saw that Orcs and Elves II was available and said, what the hey, grab it. I've heard it was quite good, and even though I own Orcs and Elves for the DS I'm sure there will be times where I'm caught DS-less (coming home from a party or a bar, say, and too inebriated to trust myself to keep my DS from being stolen right out of my hands). I played it for about 5 minutes and came away with good impressions. Imagine that - a good mobile game.

I figured, though, that since most of mobile gaming is universally blargh (the simplest of puzzle games notwithstanding), I needed to set the world balance right again by downloading what could be a terrible game. The disgusting experience I had with Empire Earth Mobile doesn't count - that's on my OLD phone, see. Anyway. So I saw Guitar Hero "III" as an option and... decided to ruin my enjoyment of the franchise by buying it.

Here's the gist: it's really stupid and you should not play it. The end.

To expand a bit, actually, it's not completely unplayable - if at all. You just shouldn't bother playing it. It's pointless. For kicks, I'll do a stupid video review or something for it when I've played it some more (no, this won't be for Gamespot; this'll be for li'l ol' neglected Trigames) so you can see how asinine it is. So there you go, gaming community. $12 to tell you what you probably already knew: don't buy Guitar Hero mobile. Aren't you just so grateful for my sacrifice? Or am I really just that idiotic? Actually don't answer that. (Remember, I have mod powersz0rz! OoOoOoOo scary!)