No podcast episode 83? Never fear - bootleg cast is here! Just answering some mailbag questions on my own, is all.

Now, as for The Maraconi, which really is just Mac n' Cheese with extra mozzarella and sausage ground in:

1) Take one normal Mac n' Cheese recipe. You may choose to substitute elbows for shells. S'what I did.

2) Add a tomato, an onion, garlic, a hunk of mozzarella and a big fat sausage - of your choice - to your grocery list. I just got a beef one. (Cue innuendo and jokes.) When you get back home, make sure Rock Band is ALREADY SET UP.

3) Open up the sausage - remove the "skin" and pop the ground meat out. If it's the kind of sausage that doesn't pop out ground meat, i.e. more resembles a hot dog, you can just dice it with a knife - no big deal.

4) Dice up some 'dem onions and garlic. Grate the mozzarella to the best of your ability - or just dice it up with a knife.

5) Throw the onions, garlic and snorsage into a pan and sautee the crap outta it while you boil the macaroni shells and make the cheese (according to the recipe). Also: feel free to use a little less half-and-half than the recipe calls for - the cheese sauce I ended up with was a wee bit less gooey and more liquid than I would have liked it to be.

6) Dump half of the macaroni into the casserole dish. Throw in the sausage and onion and garlic mix. Stir it around a li'l, throw half of the mozzarella on top of it, stir it a li'l more, then dump half of the cheese sauce in there. Put in the rest of the macaroni and cheese sauce, then top the entire thing with the rest of the mozarella. You know, so it looks like a pizza. I didn't have enough mozzarella, so it covered like half of the shells and looked spotty.

7) Dump the whole thing into the oven and let it sit for 25 - 30 minutes like the recipe says. By now your friends should be struggling with the Rock Band drum kit, so go help them out with it.

If you do it better than I did, which really shouldn't be hard because I completely messed it up, you should end up with something incredibly gooey but delicious. You might also find this:

OMG WHAT BE THAT!!!!!111111111one