So, I sitting here at my computer, waiting for work to end and thinking about my ex. Actually, we haven't officially broken up, but the last tirade directed at me last night pretty much leaves me to believe that it is over.

I must admit that I feel numb about the whole thing, and secretly hope that it will go back to the way it was before, but I honestly know that it is better for both of us this way. This was a person that I cared for very deeply, (still do) for five years, but for various reasons..it wasn't working out in the last year. I know that the blame is on both of our sides "I am right on my side and you are right on yours" (Dylan) and I freely admit that I should have handled it better. The good thing about this exercise is that no one will ever read it and even if they did, they don't know who you are and so you can be at bit more relaaxed and off guard.

That being said, I still hold out hope and believe that what is meant to be will be.

Just watched this last night. It's a German silent film, and it's the first film about the legend of Dracula(in this case, Nosferatu). It relies on scaring you by implying the danger, rather than hitting you over the head with it. It is very effective at using shadows and the original score is menacing, especially because there is no dialogue or sound effects of any kind.

Watch it with the lights closed on a stormy night...but hopefully not alone....

Today I begin the first entry of an online journal that no one will ever read. I have no topic to write about at this time and will pass the time stringing words together to make sentences of some kind that can be meaningful.

Hopefully this will change with time.:)