Need a reminder that it's not just YOUR life that's so weird? Then look no further! Welcome to the latest edition of...
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Neko's
Offbeat News
Clips!
( Volume 8 )
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"Think of how stupid the average person is, then realize half of them are stupider than that." - George Carlin
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C'mere, Rover, My Feet Are Cold
Check out the latest craze to hit the Internet: Have your pet's hair turned into yarn and knitted into a fashion statement.
The fur is taken from pets during typical grooming; animal skin is not involved in the creations. Some customers pay as much as $9 an ounce to have their pet's fur turned into a ball of wool for knitting. Dog fiber is especially popular, as "canine cashmere" is reportedly 80% warmer than sheep wool.
Beth and Brian Williams (pictured above) both own sweaters made from their pets (now deceased). "They are extremely warm and pretty much waterproof. . . I've always got a sweat on by the time I get from the bus to the shops," Brian reported in a newspaper interview.
Victoria Pettigrew, owner of VIP Fibers, one company that will produce the yarn on demand, says that one of the first things people do when encountering their product is to smell it. She says one of the first things the spinners do is remove enzymes that cause odor and trigger allergies. "If your pet has four legs and fur, we can spin it," she says.
NekoNote: But does it make you lick yourself in odd places when you wear it?
The Swindling Swami
Caught on camera - a thief recently came up with a novel approach to robbery. He hypnotizes cashiers and bank clerks into handing him over hundreds in Euros.
The clerks report the last thing they remember is "Look into my eyes", and they hand over the contents of their tills without a fuss. One bank clerk handed over approximately $1,200 while under the influence of the greedy hypnotist. Reports say he may be working with a female accomplice who distracts other customers while the magician works his magic.
NekoNote: Female accomplice? No worries, just look for a lady in a tight spangly outfit.
Customer Service, Or Servicing Customers?
Last month, Verizon Wireless was directing cutomers to a phone-sex number instead of their customer service department. according to The Consumerist. The number was incorrectly posted on their small-business website. One blogger on the Consumist site jokes, "I guess if you didn't get your rebate from Verizon, the phone sex number is listed to help you cope with the $250 you won't be getting back?"
NekoNote: It would probably make those long waits before you get a representative much more interesting.
I Guess You Flunked This Test
DEL NORTE, CALIFORNIA: When a 26-year old women decided that her urine test was probaby going to come back positive, she enlisted the help of a friend and made an attempt to hijack the courier vehicle transporting the sample. Unfortunately, Krystal Evans and her unidentified aquaintence aborted their "somewhat inept" attempt and fled the scene when the driver immediately called to contact police. As it turned out, the sample came up negative but a second test administered after the attempt turned up positive for methamphetimine use. Evans was sentenced to three years jail-time for parole violation.
NekoNote: Talk about pi$$in' in the wind...
Grab The Gas And Go! Go! Go!
WILMINGTON, NORTH CAROLINA: The Kangaroo Express in Wilmington, N.C. recently lost over $1,000 in revenue due to an error by one of the clerks. Instead of coding the pumps for $3.35, they accidently put in .35.
The error was made at 9:00 a.m, and wasn't noticed until nearly 6:00 that evening when crowds jammed the pumps and caused traffic jams on nearby roads. One buyer was able to fill up the 28-gallon tank on her Navigator for $9.80.
"People had been coming in all day stiffing us, not telling us nothing," station employee Shane Weller says. "They knew something was wrong because regular gas was still $3-something a gallon, and when have you ever known premium gas to be lower than regular?"
NekoNote: Oh, the moral dilemna...why didn't it happen in my town? :cry:
MySpace Is NOT Private Space
ARLINGTON, OREGON: The mayor of Arlington was somewhat indignant when voters recalled her from office after discovering a picture of her on her MySpace account showing her standing in front of the town's fire trucks clad in black undies and bra.
When asked why she expected privacy online, she stated only, "That's my space. That's why they call it MySpace." Virtually every voter in town came out to vote on whether or not she should keep her job; final tally was 142 to 139.
NekoNote: Too bad! A politician with nothing to hide, and can prove it!
When A Stranger Calls
DELHI, LOUISIANA: When a woman called 911 and reported she'd just received a phone call from a man screaming "I'VE KILLED THEM ALL!", officers were quick to check her Caller ID and trace the call. Upon arrival at the caller's residence, they found 29-year-old Thomas Ballard, who was in elation over beating a video game and had called a friend to trumpet his victory. Unfortunately, he'd dialed the wrong number. Even more unfortunate for him, he had an outstanding warrant for his arrest for drug charges, and was thus apprehended. No real bodies were found at his residence.
NekoNote: Take note, fellow GS-er's. Humility goes a lot farther than bragging.
If He Can Do It, What's Your Excuse?
GREEN VALLEY, ARIZONA: An 85-year old golfer who is legally blind recently made a hole in one on a Par-3 course. Mr. Robert Dunham accomplished this feat with only the assistance of a volunteer that lines him up with the ball.
After the assistant handed him his 9-iron, Dunham swung through the ball, hit it squarely and it landed softly on the green, taking one hop before nestling into the bottom of the cup.
The World War II vet's first reaction?
"I thought they were kidding me," Dunham said. "I told them, 'You guys better not be pulling my leg.'"
Mr. Dunham, who began losing his vision about ten years ago, was playing with a group of other blind veterans as part of a Veteran's Affairs health-care system program. He had only been with the group three weeks before his amazing accomplishment.
NekoNote: My usual jokes aside - totally awesome!
Getting Steamed About Crime
CANBERRA, PAPUA NEW GUINEA: A dry-cleaning shop owner in Papua New Guinea has found a unique way of encouraging thieves to clean up their behavior: giving them a steam cleaning!
Police in the northeast coastal town of Lae said a 20-year-old man suffered burns and scalding to his abdomen, chest and back after the owner turned a steam cleaner on him after he was caught stealing pants worth 14 kina ($5.50). "The owner has done this to many people already," police spokesman Nema Mondiai told Australian Associated Press on Wednesday. Police seemed unconcerned about the radical punishment and released the thief after being assured he had learned his lesson.
NekoNote: Yes, but did he starch the collar?
Are You Just Happy To See Me?
LANSING, MICHIGAN: Officers are on the lookout for a female who "snake-napped" a baby boa constrictor from his case in a local pet shop. The unidentified woman grabbed the $175 snake and stuffed it...in her pants.
"They like warmth, and don't mind tight spots," the store owner said.
Although he said the nonpoisonous snake posed no danger to the thief, he expressed concern for his pilfered reptile. "I'm far less concerned about the person than about the snake," he said.
Fully grown boas can reach lengths of up to 13 feet, and weigh upwards of 100 pounds.
NekoNote: NOT something I want to find in MY pants leg! *yeeurk* And I actually LIKE snakes....*has the heebie-jeebies now, think we'll wrap it up....*
I hope you enjoyed this edition, it's always fun finding these! And as always, tell me what you think - ciao!