I really need to get a better sleep schedule, especially since I'm starting my counselor job next week, but ah well, feel like posting.

I'm still amazed at how much GTAIV is affecting me right now. (This will be a spoilerific post most likely, so you might wanna skip if you haven't gotten far/haven't played. Note: I just finished the mission Deconstruction for Beginners, and Have a Heart before that one.) The storyline is amazingly deep for a GTA game, though note that I've only played Vice City and like 5% of San Andreas, so I can't utterly prove that, but look at what everyone else is saying and you'll see my point. Niko's character is so deep and fleshed out, you really feel the pain he's going through trying to adjust to Liberty City crime life, a past similar to what he seems to have tried to leave behind in the old country. My second favorite character has to be Roman, he's hilairous, and deep down a likeable guy, if a bit rough around the edges.

It's just, how can I really describe what this game is making me feel? When Dmitri ordered Niko to kill Faustion, the entire drive over, I was turning the idea over in my mind, wondering if this was one of the decision missions, and if so, would I make Niko spare Faustion or kill him? When Dmitri and the Michelle betrayed Niko, I was shocked and saddened; when Elizabeta shot Manny, my jaw dropped for a second and then I got pissed off (I amazingly somewhat liked Manny), and now I know if the decision comes to it, Niko's gonna drop her in a flash and stick with Little Jacob and his pals. In other games, characters go from point A to point B, rising to success, and you mostly follow along and agree with the path they're taking, understanding the moral lessons being applied. But with a game like GTAIV, where your heroes are the "bad guys" and they don't always win in the end, how do you deal with an experience like that? How do you not go through this game without that sinking feeling that the ending isn't going to be the sunshine and daisies and relief for Niko that you really wish it could be, but know it probably won't be?

Damn, now I really want a miniseries or book version of this story.