Not really sure how many people actually read this thing, but considering the VAST number of posts that I seem to write, I kind of consider this to just be my own little portion of the Internet.

Today, I was assigned as project lead on one of our program's three Thesis games. That's actually pretty awesome. At the time, I really didn't think a lot of it, especially considering I've been a a lead in all but title for three prototypes so far, as well as the lead designer on a game for the Utah Natural History Museum. (If you haven't seen it, I would highly recommend checking it out. We've been told it's the most popular part of that exhibit.)

In any case, I was speaking with a colleague of mine who happened to see me in a behind the scenes shot of Unicorn City, which is an independent gaming film that's soon to be coming to theaters. (Hilarious stuff, by the way.) He asked me what I had done on the film, and I explained my previous work as a grip and electrician, which he thought was so interesting considering where I'm headed now.

But as a friend of Bryan Lefler, (one of the producers), my colleague asked him about my work. He mentioned who I was and that I was in the program, and the related response was so interesting:

"Oh, you know that guy?"

"Yeah, he's the EAE program."

"Have you ever seen him smile?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Well, he was a super hard worker, but I don't think I ever saw that guy crack a grin."

"Really? I don't think I've ever seen him notsmiling, actually."

When my friend relayed that to me, I laughed, but the comment kind of stuck. Considering that I was filming that movie a year and a half ago, I guess I didn't take into account the way that I was being perceived.

When I talk to my friends now, especially those who've only really known me since I started the program, most of them seem to see me as a generally positive guy who's rather easy-going. I don't like to think that I've really changed all that much over the course of just a year, but could it be that my personality was so dark?

I keep coming back to it, trying to figure out what it was. Was I just annoyed with the heat? Was I annoyed with the work? Was it the wage? Or was it something else? I just can't really put my finger on it.

Perhaps I just wasn't going in the direction that I should have been. Maybe I needed a change, and my face recognized it before I did. I don't know.

In either case, that was then, and this is now. Time to move forward, and keep that smile on my face. Try to avoid the apparent scowl that was a permanent fixture in 2010.

New project, new responsibilities, and hopefully some awesome results down the road.

Here we go.

- K