Once upon a time, vampires were evil. If you (somehow) managed to come across one, you could douse it in holy water, or throw a cross in front of its face, or just lock yourself in a garlic-strewn room until daylight and stake it through the heart (if you knew where its coffin was).

Then came Interview with a Vampire.

It was like a revelation to so many: a sympathetic vampire. One who was so confused by his life, and so sensitive...

All I could think of while reading it was, "So when can I go hunt this blood-sucker down and stake him? He's easy prey... and he'll probably thank me!"

I must be the only one... because, all of a sudden, there was a slew of books just like it... all filled with "sensitive" vampires who just wanted to live their lives without human interference, and still drink blood. Books like Of Saints and Shadows even painted them as unjustly persecuted ("Sure, I live on human blood... but that doesn't mean we can't be friends, does it?").

I won't even get into the novel where a certain central religious figure is revealed to be a vampire... I'm not about to start any flame wars over religion again.

In one fell swoop, an entire branch of dark fantasy was essentially neutered by Anne Rice.

It also sparked something of a renaissance of Goth vampire wannabees, who dresssed in black, wore plastic fangs, and shunned sunlight.

Um... that's kind of like cows suddenly starting a "Cult of Steak" and falling all over themselves to be the next to the slaughterhouse. These people do realize that, to become a leech, they have to be drained by one, right?

It doesn't stop there, though... as much as I wish it had.

There have been TV shows, like "Forever Knight" and "Moonlight" (the current target of my dislike for vampire sissification... seriously, a vampire who helps people solve crimes? With a human girlfriend?) that just make it even worse. The fact that anyone watches them just... confuses me (especially "Moonlight:" I was hoping it got cancelled, but a new episode was on tonight. Yay).

Let's not start on how badly mangled the myth has become... OK, let's: Rice's vampires now have no real weakness. Basically, Lestat can walk wherever he wants, whenever he wants, and no worry about inconvenient things like death. Why not just name him "the God Lestat" and start a vampire religion?!? (If there isn't one already... I'm not sure I'd want to know if there was.)

If it had stopped there, I might have managed... but right now, the only non-sympathetic villain left is the zombie... and it's not like anyone can do anything about that (seriously: would you want to hug a shambling, moldering, brain-eating corpse!?!). The horror section of the bookstore is skeletal these days (if it weren't for Stephen King, it would more than likely be empty... and he doesn't really do horror anymore!).

*sigh* They just don't make monsters like they used to... thanks, Anne, you **********.