This is a list of the greatest things ever to grace our lowly planet. Everyone I know will definitely agree that the following list is just too staggeringly awsome to contemplate without blowing their minds!!!
Best Movie EVER:
"Return of the Killer Tomatoes" has George Clooney, genetically-engineered tomatoes that look human, and the best product placement of any movie ever made. If you haven't seen it, do not hesitate!!! Rent it NOW!
Best Novel EVER:
C'mon, now... novelizations of popular games are the pinnacle of literary genius. They take everything a game offers, and change it to make it 1000% better!!!
Best Hardware EVER:
The best computer ever made. You plug it in, turn it on... and nothing happens! Genius! Since it does nothing, your software is never incompatible, your hardware add-ons never fail, and it never crashes, locks up or BSODs!!!
Best Software EVER:
The ultimate OS!!! It ditches those messy drivers on shut-down (saving disk space) and gives you a genuine appreciation for the color blue!!! What's not to love?!?
Best Game EVER:
It has E.T., Reese's Pieces, and puzzles that would make any hard-core gamer truly appreciate the brilliant design of the game!!! Best of all, it can be had cheap (if you know where the left-overs are being safely stored... after all, this much awesome may be hazardous to the general public)!!!
Best Band EVER:
Absolutely the most underappreciated band of all time!!! So what if they didn't play any music... or sing their own songs? So what if the **** purists yanked their Grammy?!? They were GENIUSES!!!
Best Person EVER:
C'mon... so what if he asked his friends to start a race war so he could rule the world? Who can fault a guy for wanting to get ahead in the world?!?
(Honorable mentions: Rod Blagojevich, Lindsey Lohan)
Well... that's it... any more and your monitor will explode trying to contain the sheer incredibleness of this list!!!
I hereby declare this day... being the first day of the month of April... to be "Best EVER Appreciation Day." Have a good one, and enjoy yourselves!!! :D