Jesus is on the cross, about to die! Suddenly, two ninjas swing in. weilding UZIs! Then one Ninja jumps up, grabs a clawhammer, pulls the nails out and put Jesus on his back. Jesus says: "I'm supposed to die" but the ninja says:"not on my watch"
they get to a safe distance and Jesus asks: "Who are you?"
the ninjas pull of their masks: Jay and Silent-Bob! Silent-Bob pulls a quote from Star Wars and they pimp away, and Jesus is left to live a normal life, and he's, like: "I think I'm gonna be an accountant!"
and then he says: "F##K christianity. I'm a satanist now!"

now, this, is a movie I'd watch!!!!