I would like to preface this by saying one thing: Be thankful for what you have. I know, that sounds incredibly wussy, especially coming from someone as manly and rugged as myself. But it's true. You never know how good or easy you have it until some unexpected occurence comes along and takes a dump right in your bed (figuratively speaking, of course). With that out of the way, let me give you a description of what my week was like:

Sunday-OK, things started off great, since Papa Murphy's Pizza had Customer Appreciation Days from last Friday to last Sunday. A large Pepperoni was only $4. Not a bad deal, so before the noon kickoff for the early NFL games, I went to Austin and picked one up. If you have read my journal before, you know I'm a big fan of food, and after you get done reading this entry, you'll believe it even more. So anyways, I get home, slide the pizza into the oven, and pig out on it while I watch my boy Kevin Jones get shut down by the Bears. Thankfully, I started Onterrio Smith in his place just an hour before the roster deadline. So then the Vikings game starts, and I start to get pissed. The Dallas Cowboys and their trio of washed up offensive goons (Vinny Testicles, Eddie George and Keyshawn Johnson) march right down the field on my beloved Vikings. But eventually, the Vikings wake up, and go on to slaughter the overmatched 'Boys, 35-17. Sweet. So far so good. I love listening to Vikings Fanline after the show, where everyone calls into the hosts and either cries and second guesses Mike Tice, or pimps their favorite team. In a sick way, I kind of like it when the Vikings lose, because it makes for a great 2 hours of radio on Fanline after the game. So Sunday comes and goes, and it turned out to be a pretty damn good day. But the trend wouldn't continue. If you're not already bored out of your mind, keep reading.

Monday-Time to go to work. Today, my usual delivery route went to the old guy, and I took the OTHER old guys job. I had to drop off the food at Head Start, a local pre-school first, which was a biatch, since I missed the turn and had to circle the block, thus waisting 10 minutes. Oh well, I wasn't in a hurry. So I get to Pickett Place, the senior center where I help serve the food, along with the Hunchback of Austin (I'm dead serious, this woman has a giagantic hump in her back. Not just a bulge, or a protrusion, a GOD DAMNED SPEEDBUMP LEARCHING OUT OF HE BACK!) She's nice, so I digress. I get home, and on comes WWE Raw. A lot of the time, I watch WWE programming just so I have some fodder to post over at General Wrestling Discussion. Monday's Raw was no different, with Gene "Human Coat Hanger" Snisky causing Lita to probably have a miscarriage. Thank god. So I go to bed on Monday, a normal day, thinking "Gee, I wonder what kind of adventure I'll have on Tuesday." Well, not the one I had planned.

Tuesday- On Tuesday, I usually don't go to work, it's my day off. But since the Senior Center I work for had a night meal that night, I had to come in for a couple hours to help serve. But before that, I stopped into town to hit up the Pizza Hut buffet. As usual, the Pepperoni went fast, but I got about 3 slices, and then serviced myself to about 8 slices of Sausage. It was grubbing. When I came out and noticed I had left my headlights on, I thought I was f******. But thankfully, the battery didn't go out. So I go home, and go right back into town at 4:30 to serve. I get there, and I see a bunch of seniors dancing around to polka music. I use the term "dancing" loosely, since it sounds better than "80 year olds swaying back and forth". I put in my modest 2 hours, and begin my trek home. Then the skies opened up, and the rain came. One of my cars has a "broken roof", which leaks, so I had to put it into the garage, while wearing only my boxer shorts (it's a long story as to why I was wearing only boxer shorts at 7 pm on a Tuesday). Thank god I put it in the garage, because if I hadn't, the damn thing would have been completely destroyed. I go to bed on Tuesday night not paying attention to the massive amounts of rain that keeps coming down. So I hit the ol dusty trail, and wake up at 2 in the morning and step outside my bedroom door....

Wednesday-To find that my entire basement was filled with about an inch and a half of water. Not only that, but the sewer backed up also, causing human excrement to splash all over the washer and dryer. Hooray. So after I move all my valuables (Xbox, PS2, and to a lesser extent, GameCube) upstairs, I go to sleep on a 6 foot long smelly lime green davenport. Keep in mind I'm 6'5", so you know how comfortable I was on that damned thing.

Now, let me tell you this: I can't sleep without a TV or radio on. I don't know why, but if I try to sleep in complete silence, my mind thinks of crazy things, and it keeps me awake. I need some source of nosie to kind of drown out my insane thoughts so I can sleep. I put in my newest Chris Rock CD, and that put me to sleep in about a half hour.

I wake up in the morning and look outside the storage room window (where I slept), and thankfully, it stopped raining. However, the rain is still flowing into our house. After about 3 hours of pushing water down into our enormous sump pump hole, we decide that it's just not doing any good. It's not working at all, so we decide to take a long break. Me and my mom go to the local pizza establishment to take a load off, then we hit Owatonna Wal Mart for some groceries. I searched the cereal aisle and noticed that they don't sell Count Chocula anymore. WTF is up wit that? So we get home, and the water is still coming in, but not nearly as bad as it once was. My brother is on his way to our house with a portable sump pump, one that needs to be submerged in water for it to work. Well, our basement isn't filled with enough water, so we had to brainstorm as to how we use this damned thing. But before that, it's sleepy time, and I went to sleep thanks to my good friend Dave Chappelle.

Thursday-I wake up in the morning with my mouth tasting like I had just spent the entire night licking Courtney Love's butthole. I brush my teeth and go downstairs to discover that, e gads, some of the water is gone! Thank god. My mom came up with the idea to fill up our 2 Shop Vacs with water, then stick the sump pump in the tank and suck the water away. This method really came in handy. So after spending about 4 hours using this method, I take a break to watch the news. Austin, the town I work in, and the home of Spam, is completely flooded. They showed one camper who was stranded on top of an outhouse, it was quite funny. After the news was over, I went back to work until about 7 pm, when I took a break to watch Smackdown, the most unintentionally funny show on television. I chuckled at the return of Viscera and Gangrel, and held my breath in awe as Heidenreich raped Michael Cole on broadcast television. So much for that whole "We won't show murder or rape" policy, eh WWE? First Taker gives Paul Bearer a concerte shower, then Heidenreich takes a page out of Pat Patterson's playbook and rides his Beamer down Michael Cole's Hershey Highway. Hooray! After Smackdown, I continue to clean until it's time to go to bed again on that same stupid couch in that same crappy storage room. I put on a newly burned Bill Engvall CD this time. If you have kept reading to this point, stay patient, the good stuff is coming up.

Friday-Payday! And most importantly, the entire basement is now dry. Thank you Allah. So before I leave for work, I jump on USBank.com and see how much my paycheck was (I have Direct Deposit). It was $170 something, plus the $44.05 I got on Saturday for my mileage. Not bad for someone like myself. So I head on over to EBGames.com and RoHWrestling.com and make the purchases I have been wanting to make. I picked up Sly 2 and Silent Hill 2 from EBGames.com, and both stages of Death Before Dishonor 2 from RoHWrestling.com. Sweet. So I go to work, and it's the usual day. I decided to stop off at Arby's after work for lunch, and I purchased the chicken fingers combo with an order of Mozzarella sticks. Grubbin. Other than that, Friday was a pretty normal day.

Saturday-On Saturday, me and my mom went to Rochester to pick up some new carpeting for our basement. But before we did that, I stopped at Taco Bell. I wanted to try their Spicy Chicken Soft Taco, which was incredibly tasty. I also got a Chicken Quesadilla and a Chili Cheese Burrito, in case you cared. After I was done feeding myself, we went over to Hiller Carpet to see what we could buy. We ended up buying 3 remnants for a total of $160.50, not bad at all. The sales chick was incredibly nice too, which is good to see. We had to wait an hour and a half for our friend to show up with his truck so we could haul the stuff back home, so we hit up ShopKo, and I rummaged through the $12.99 bargain games bin. I found PSO I and II for Xbox, and using my incredible skills of persuasion, I got my mom to pay for it. I, however, paid for a couple of own things, like 4 new G.I. Joe guys. These guys are freaking sweet. Beachead is one of my favorite GI's, so I picked him up, and I also got a sweet looking Dr. Mindbender, some Cobra robot guy who has interchangeable forearms, and Hi-Tech, another GI guy. I know what you might be thinking. "You're 19 and you play with G.I. Joe guys?" You're damn right I do. So anyways, we go home and slap the carpeting down in my room, and put the entire place back together again, so thankfully, I can sleep in there that night. I finished the night by watching my beloved Gophers whoop up on Colorado State. I listened to a new Bill Engvall CD as I drifted off into slumber.

Sunday-Finally, our basement is back to normal. Actually, it's a lot nicer than it was before, now with fully carpeting instead of a couple area rugs. The day started off awesome, with the Packers getting beaten at home by the crappy Bears. Killer. I went to Subway and although they ran out of chicken (I couldn't get my usual Chicken Pizziola), I just got 2 footlong CCT's for $7.99. Then I watched some of that PBS special on video games. Now, I'm finishing up on my longest and most boring journal entry. Loyal readers, I promise better and shorter entries from now on.