LoTR isn't dead or even really close. I play on Landroval which is the unofficial roleplaying server and it's fairly crowded, supposedly brandywine is overcrowded, and other servers vary but I haven't played on them.
If you want a more friendly and mature community, a more PvE orient game (where PvP is on the side more than anything), and more detailed quests that revolve around a well-known lore then go for LoTR.
Actually...you should be able to find trials for both games with ease. Try both for yourself and go from there I'd think as opinions vary from person to person.
You might consider a trial to gametap also if you're new to the PC. The reason being you could try shooters, rts, sports games, everything and get a good idea of what you get along with. I for example once again realized that no matter how old it is I suck at all RTS games. Then you could make an informed decision and buy something newer.
Crysis, Unreal Tournament 3 ($20 at gogamer.com right now), Supreme Commander, Orange Box, World in Conflict. Tons of amazing choices.
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