in the swbf2 union "KillaMario" had this and i think its hilarious:

Here are some facts about Chuck Norris:
-Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
-Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad has never cried.
-Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
-A handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped peopple. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
-Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.