Before we get into the fasting part of this post let me tell about whats going on. I just finished house sitting and let me tell you it sucked. I mean it was stressful tiring and all around crappy. The three dogs were just fine. They are a nice little pack. They all respect each other and they know there places. I was pack leader to them and they followed and respected me. They were good. The two cats were a bit anti social with me but by the end they would come up to me for some love. The puppy on the other hand had no rules or boundries as far as I could tell. I sought to change that. While teaching the dog to be potty trained I had to gain pack leader from this dog. It was easily gained as I'm bigger and any struggle the dog put up as I put it in to submission was easily nullified by me. But either way the dog had way to much energy. it could take a 30 minute walk and stll want to run around. It was just a 4 month year old puppy so it was a busy dog.
While house sitting I realized some things. One, I'm very lonely. I hung out with friends but all of it seemed unfulling. It was just there, hanging out with people never cured my looming lonelyness. Soon after I would after hanging out I would feel the same way. It was never good. With that I don't know how to solve it. I don't..
Next I still care about Kirsten. I do. I've tried flirting and I've tried purseing some girls but it all leads to nothing. Its just not there. Bleh. I just don't feel the chemistry or ever y path that has some interest gets completely shut off, due to various things. Maybe its suppose to be like this. I donno.
Work, work is good. Its been slowly getting better as I work there more. And the paychecks are nice. Its been fun overall and I've met some nice people. Its given me more of a social life and whether thats good or bad has yet to be deceided. Haha. Recently I've been branching out and doing more things within the job more advanced stuff. So its ultimately shaping up to be more fun than I had expected.
On to fasting. My mother deceided to fast and mediatate on things in life. Mainly for my oldest brother who is kind of way ward. He is a bit distanced from teh family amd into to abnormal things. She is worried about him like always. So this fasting is for him and that he will come back to the family. I deceided to join my mother, although he was a concern for me and he is part of the fasting, I wasn't totally deceided on what I should fast for. I prayed to God and I had a dream about her. Yeah, so I think I'm gonna fast for her and that she finds God. But I'm doing ot for me to. A day or two in strong mediatation is just what I need, to help get myself focused and improving myself. It will be struggle for me, but its something I need to do. So I guess my fasting is being broken down into three parts. Kirsten, my brother, and for me. Not bad all in all. It'll be a new experience for me I hope I get some guidance from it and some great things happen!