I spent the last two days in an extreme desperation building up a hate, cause I feel like I'm standing still in life and there is nothing worse to me than standing still. I need to move forward, I'm a very goal oriented person, and it just bothers when I'm not sure where to go with things. So I spent the last two days building a hate for her, and I just felt empty and desolate. It wasn't me and I knew it but I didn't know what else to do. I broke down last night(I didn't cry) It was more of a spiritual thing during this whole hate manner it was also a distancing from my religion. Its a mess, so once again I'm at my stand still. Circles again. I'll get school done for the semster then move somewhere. I think thats the best.