Well, the past couple of days have been while. There. It seems I'm having trouble relaxing now a days. I've always got something on my mind. It can be about work, because well I always want to do my best and help people the best I can that I think if I messed up its bad times. It bothers me. I need to just try and chill a bit more. But well, I'm just I donno uptight. If I'm alone my mind wanders and it never wanders somewhere good. So I think my fast starts tonight. I'm gonna try to go 3 days at the very least. If I feel called to do more I shall. I have no problem going on some more if need be. We shall see where it goes and what it tells me haha. I'm a bit nervous. Considering all things. But oh well. Go big or go home Am I right?

I'm beginning to hate work and I hate people. I explain people things and they are like wtf why do I have to pay. Umm your service plan covers this, not that . WHy do I have to pay and it went on for 5 minutes. I wanted to punch him and say stop being so stupid. You got a stupid virus on your comp. Deal with it you are dumb. I don't get people I hate people. Its the frustrations from work that dwell within me. Its really love hate. I like getting paid and stuff and good customers are good but everything else in between, having to worry about sales figures and sort of pushing sales. So its like wtf. I just want to try and help people. Its how it is. Things go wrong all the time. I'm good and people tell me I'm good for how long I've been there but I just feel like I can't help it I'm doing bad. I'm way to hard on myself and I tend to take all the blame upon myself. Its how it is. I do it in relationships to. Any arguement I feel like its my fault. If I was better we wouldn't be here. Its painful and I've ID this problem in my I just get caught up in the moment and don't think about it until way after.

I learned of pandora.com today. And well it was refreshing to listen to some new music. One guy really caught my attention. Jeff Dodd. It was just such a calm music. Pleasant. It just surrounded me. I looked him up and all his songs were similiar to what i heard. And by similiar I mean it wasn't some odd instrumental piece. His all are just acoustic and bass. Its wonderful. He has nice acoustic and the bass carries the melody. I love it. Its something I can get lost in. I see my musical tastes shifitng. I love my old music I do. But I want something new and fresh. Insomium is still filling the void. There love songs stay with me. As they have some great lyrics and guitar. They ahve even brought a tear or two to me with there songs. Very passionate and very nice.

Iu has been great. Lots of negative press but oh well. I'm loving it.