Well, I spent last night and today trying to piece together my sorrow which has been this break up. I think I have pieced it together quite well. I am not completely sure. I spent today at our resivoir. Its a peaceful lake that I use to run around on a daily basis during cross country. I love that place. So I went there, I was angry confused and sad. And I left with peace of mind. It was truely a spiritual time in which I turned my life over to God. I always felt God put me and her together and he has taken us apart for some reason. I've had this weird feeling in my gut(figurative) that I will see her again. I am extremely willing to stay friends with her, I know God doesn't want me out of her life, but I think at this point I can have a bigger influence on her as a friend than as a boyfriend. Although, I wonder if we will meet again later. I can only wonder. I am not going to sit around and wait for that though, I will move on and if it happens it happens. I will cherish what he had and looked forward to the new memories will have has friends. I look eagerly to future and will no longer linger on the past.

This break up feels different from all the others and thats why I remain optimistic for my future whatever it maybe. This isn't a time for mourning its a time for growing spiritually, and emotionally. That is why I am pressing forward trying to find my place and that special someone. Maybe I've already found her but we aren't ready yet. I don't know but I will look forward and forge a friendship with her and I will keep my eyes on others who maybe girlfriends. I march into the unknown with bright eyes. What I feel is not normal.

May God bless her and protect her. Kirsten...

I look forward, but I still have the feeling things aren't over between us. I shall continue on. I think we both need to grow a little bit, and thats why God took us apart. Of course we shall see.