Okay, these are getting old, but I have to say, I enjoy them, probably too much. So, I'm ending this fad with a bang. The best of the best in this blog. Chuck Norris once had a near death experience. Needless to say, Death now refuses to come near him. Chuck Norris solved the Bermuda Triangle by using the Pythagorean Theorem. The Nile flows north because Chuck Norris told it to. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. Chuck Norris was awarded the nobel peace prize, for letting so many people live. Never ask Chuck Norris to play a game of "Sorry!" It will only end in tears. Yours. At birth, Chuck Norris came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO. Vin Diesel's hair is too afraid of Chuck Norris to grow. A kid once stole Chuck Norris' hat and ran into an apple orchard. Chuck Norris flew into such a rage that he accidentally invented apple sauce. Chuck Norris votes people off of the island by roundhouse kicking them into the ocean. When he is alone at night, Chuck Norris likes to wear slippers with bunnies on them. Real bunnies. Chuck Norris drives Optimus-Prime to work. Chuck Norris got a perfect score on his SAT's, simply by writing Chuck Norris for every answer. One day Chuck Norris was infact killed when he round house kicked someone in the face so hard that it shattered the universe. But in heaven, Chuck challenged God to an arm wrestling match. Chuck won, and the universe was reformed. Chuck Norris does not bleed red, because red is the color of communism. You can't get blood from a stone, the mere thought of this makes Chuck Norris laugh, so loud in fact that nearby stones bleed in fear. Chuck Norris opened Pandora's Box, looked at its contents, and then closed it. Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with an AK-47 and won. Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer. Chuck Norris raised his IQ by eating gifted children. Chuck Norris created the world, then he gave it a roundhouse kick in the northern hemisphere and created continents. Chuck Norris wins the Oscar for Best Actor every year. However, he refuses to accept the trophy until Oscar grows a beard. Chuck Norris was camping once and needed to releive himself so he dug a hole. You might know it as the Grand Canyon. Okay, before God smites me for saying Chuck created us, I'm done. Glad I got this out of my system... watch me say all of these tomorrow. I'm such a loser...