Rather than the usual boring status update blog, I thought I'd share this really awesome dream I had this morning. It's still very long, and I'm probably going to have a lot of run-on sentences and boring description bits. If you can forgive that, I think the concept is really cool. It took me about eight minutes to read through, so if you have the time. Let me know if you like it better than the usual, 'cause I have a lot of these warped dreams and would be only too happy to share. Strangely enough, before I went to sleep I was thinking: I'm not afraid of the dark; I'm just afraid of what's in the dark.

It opened like a first person game would. I couldn't see my eyelashes when I blinked or the tip of my nose, but I could feel myself in the game, feel a gun in my hand and stretching up my arm. There was a man in front of me. Fairly old, white hair and wrinkles, yet bulky in his black trench coat and standing tall. He spoke to me and mysteriously told me to follow him; that I would have to learn the ropes as I went. In my head was another voice. A memory of some random game reviewer informing his audience that the game I was playing introduced the controls poorly and that I would be constantly trying to figure new ones out. However if I could bear with it, I would be rewarded for my trouble.

I was in a dark, metallic, T-shaped corridor, dimly lit by some black light within the metal. There was a switch in front of me, and a path on either side of the switch. The path to the right turned a corner, with a switch and a door before the turn. The man took the path to the left which led straight to a door with another switch to its right. Since there was a gun on my arm that seemed to have unlimited ammo that I also didn't know how to use, I decided to try it out before anything else.

As the man disappeared behind the shiny, black, mechanical sliding door to the left, I turned to the right, aimed for the switch on that side and took a shot. The bullet bounced with the most amazing audio effects I had ever heard, leaving the corridor vibrating around me. The man popped his head out from behind the door and told me in a stern, yet mechanical voice, "Come now, we don't have time for that." Slightly embarrassed and imparted with a new sense of urgency to continue, I pulled the switch in front of me. It opened the door the man had gone through, and I ran inside in the bouncy way first person characters run.

I was now in a dimly lit spiral stairwell, but it was less metallic. More hotel-like. The man was walking down the stairs and I hurried after. As it turns out, we were in a hotel. A more friendly environment, and as well-lit as this dream was going to get with minimal electric lighting, a glass wall, and gray sky. I was then handed off to someone I recognized as a P.E. teacher and the locker room lady from my high school in real life. She looked at me skeptically, but tried to be pleasant as she informed me I would be staying at this hotel, and it would also be where my journey begins (in the lobby) and ends (on the top floor). She introduced me to my real mother and brother, also my mother and brother in the game. They were to assist me throughout my "trials". With a glare, she left me to them.

My mom was my mom. She scoffed and left me with my brother to go do whatever it is she does. (Though now that I think about it, she was probably "assisting" me by getting ready for an appearance on one of the higher floors as a trial.) My brother on the other hand, the loyal dog he is, vowed to help me in any way he could. At first I worried about having to protect him, but I was glad for his company once I figured out that the horrors in the hotel were only meant for me.

I went up the carpeted stairs to the first floor. (The lobby didn't count.) A horde of lightly glowing zombies crowding the pitch black hallway in front of me flashed before my eyes, until my brother was behind me and could see down the hallway. At which point, the hallway returned to its normal friendly demeanor. I had jumped and almost screamed. Almost. My brother asked if I was alright, and we went on.

There was an open door to my left. It looked to be a hotel room, lit by two dull yellow bulbs on the ceiling. I could see the tiled bathroom, but the open door was blocking the rest of the room. It seemed to beckon me in, so I went all the way in. I saw my reflection in the door-sized mirror to my left, but nothing happened. I looked back and saw my brother looking in after me at the door. Figuring out what I had to do and cocking my gun, I mentally prepared myself to fight off a zombie horde and politely asked my brother to wait around the corner for me. No sort of zombie horde was gunna catch me off-guard this time.

Unfortunately, the thing waiting for me was decidedly worse than a horde of zombies. My reflection in the mirror changed to one of me in...less than desirable garb. This time, I did scream. My reflection and I both screamed and fell back in horror, almost cracking our skulls on the marble sinks. I knew I wasn't wearing what my reflection was because it didn't have a gun, and I heard mine clatter to the ground. Still, I was pretty freaked out. My brother came running, and the image disappeared. I realized that if every level was going to be like this - finding things that REALLY scared me, this was going to be the craziest horror game I'd ever played.

After the encounter with my reflection is a blur, but I remember my former P.E. teacher/hotel attendant being quite cross with me for screaming. Anyway, at some point I went outside. There were two people waiting at the hotel bus stop, both looking pained and neither sitting on the crimson-painted wooden bench. I asked the one closest to me what was troubling him, and found that I could only get him to spill with certain responses. But boy was it a spill.

In the game I was playing, apparently I wasn't the only one with fears. Other people had fears too. Usually not monsters, but instead deep, dark secrets unique to each NPC. If I could go into their fears and defeat them, the person would smile and the world would become brighter, making my own fears easier to confront. It was a really great game. A terrifying dream. If I could choose a name for it, I would call it Hotel Horror.

As surprised as I am at myself for not having typed one of these in so long, considering how much I love to type, now seems like a good time to mention that I've been accepted into the University of Colorado at Colorado Springs. I feel this is important information (more so to myself than anyone else) because it is my final decision and I have accepted the acceptance, despite whatever I was blathering about in my blog before last. Am I excited? I might have been, if it weren't for the feeling of impending doom that I have.

I have kept Computer Science as my intended major and, if anyone cares on a slightly related note, started and finished taking classes at a local community college while trudging through high school. However, something is awry in Wonderland. I'm not feeling it. It? Forgive me, that feeling of intense determination. That I have a dream and nothing will stop me! It's not there.

I'm going to begin a descriptive chain of events/thoughts, so prepare yourself reader. I believe it began when I decided to join my high school's Math League. I joined because I needed some form of work or study since my high school classes were, and continue to be, a joke. Also, I figured I could prove myself to myself, and that I would need a little touch up in math anyways since math goes hand-in-hand with my major. Much to my dismay, the training made me miserable.

I had passed all of the required math classes at my school and to avoid being stuck with kids from my class in Trigonometry/Pre-Calculus, I took Probability and Statistics with the class a year above me. Trigonometry was actually a serious class, and much more so than compared the the Prob. & Stats. joke I took. What I mean to say is that I wasn't learning math in school while I was in Math League. In any case, it had been so long since I'd taken a real math class, that I had forgotten everything including some of the Algebra I basics. It was not only embarassing that I couldn't do the math, but a blow to my self-esteem that re-learning the rules didn't come to me easily. That was last school year, and it's gone downhill from there.

Since 10th grade or so I've had a flexible rule in place: That if I have any outstanding homework, I am not allowed to touch a game until the homework is finished. Initially, this was to motivate me. A reward system, if you will. I finish, I'm allowed to play. Over time, this rule left a void in me. I only allowed myself to play for the short periods of time school was on break or when I had finished everything (rarely and briefly). I opted to make an attempt at filling the void by watching TV and movies, things that I could somewhat enjoy without having to stop doing my homework. Unfortunately, this left me in the horrifying state that I am in now.

Before that, my second dilemma: Earlier this year I took the placement test for the community college I attended. Almost perfect on the reading and writing, but I scored 58 out of 100 on the math part that had a cap of Algerba II since it was the last vaild math course I had taken in the past two years. When I go to Colorado, they expect me to pass three levels of Calculus. How am I supposed to do that if I can't even pass a basic Algebra II exam?

It is currently Winter Break and I find myself having to re-introduce gaming into my life. Feeling so disconnected from and unfamiliar with something I know I love is one of the worst feelings I've ever had. But it gets worse. When I think back on it, I wasn't one of the best in my former math classes because I was good at it. Rather, because everyone else pretended to be so bad at it that the lowered standards were too easy for anyone who did try. Moreover, after Math League I realized that I don't even enjoy math! What I do enjoy...complicates things.

English. As much as I hate the history behind how English got to be a well-known and used lanaguge, I can't deny that I enjoy it. I enjoy being able to freely write, type, edit, and learn new things to better my vocabulary and grammar. There is also another art that I enjoy, but that may be a forbidden fruit to me in terms of perfecting. So I have come to the conclusion that if I am not exceptional at and do not like math or science, and if I enjoy and may be somewhat good at the arts, I may very well end up miserable trying to complete a Bachelor's in science.

So I feel like the more steps I take towards my goal of building a video game empire in my future home and living in one as my career, the farther away I actually am from achieving that goal. Like, you know how airports have conveyor belts that transport people? I feel like I'm someone who can't run or speed-walk and beat the conveyor belt, on one going in the opposite direction I'm walking.

When I think about it even more, I hear stories all of the time about people not doing their homework or not showing up to work because they're playing a game. I hear stories of successful people who didn't do well in high school or may not even have needed to go to college. Dedicated people who are interested in science and innovation and who can make time to play that new game no matter what's on their schedule. I'm not any of those people. I take just two community college courses, and I practically stop playing for four months straight. If I ever thought I was going to survive, much less enjoy, an onslaught of math and science courses at a real university for this Computer Science degree that I'm not truly passionate about, I must have been out of my mind.

So that, dear readers, is why I am not so excited to be running off to college with my Computer Science major. Why don't I just change my major? Believe me, I have reasons, but for the sake of closing this up I won't go into detail. In other news, one of those void-filling TV shows turned out to be Once Upon a Time on ABC. I don't actually know when or where it airs, but I've been watching it online and have found it most satisfying. That might just be because I like fairy tales, but either way I figure it a good show. Now then! Forgive me for jumping around so much, thank you for reading, and please do enjoy your holidays. Ja, mata!

Yes! It has finally been accomplished. For the first time ever I am actually typing, on the Internet, in my own room. I can hardly believe it myself, but I got the router in with few problems. It's hard to believe all the things that I can now use to connect to the Internet, albeit limited to this house. Not like I go anywhere else ona typical day though.

So now all I have to do is transfer all of my files to this laptop and it could actually be considered my own computer. Not one I would choose of course, but hey, it's a start and I shouldn't be complaining. At the moment I'm debating trying to install World of Warcraft on it. There's another game I already have on here, FATE, and it works fine. I dunno though. Aside from FATE, the computer actually seems pretty slow. I think I should leave the games to the Mac for now and wait 'til I have an actual PC to do anything else.

As well as the router I also got a new headset, I have no idea how that's gunna work. The last time I tried to use one either I totally messed up or the thing wasn't working. Best hopes for that. In any case, now that I've got the excitement over that out, I'll start the status update. It has been months...but with all the blogs that have been coming out I don't think anyone minds.

It is summer, I think the last time I posted one of these things was winter... My hopes for the dead unions coming back to life over the summer have been squashed. Oh well. I suppose people have better things to do than hang around in slow forums. I've actually been pretty busy myself. I guess school isn't the only thing that occupies the time of one's life.I am certainly happy that's done and over with though. Can't wait for next year. If all goes well, it should be much much better. ^_^Ah, and I have one last thing to mention before it happens.

July. Going on a trip to Japan. Homestay, going to be gone for a month. I think the plane officially leaves July 2nd, no idea when it comes back, it should be just before the start of August. I know, I'm lucky, not many people get to do this... My idea is it's a ploy to get me out of the house. I mean, not that I like being in the house anyway, ahh, I dunno. Ahem, so...

I might be gone. For a month. I have absolutely no idea what's going to happen over there, and I'm a little down on vocabulary so I'm totally scared I'm going to use the wrong word and offend someone. :? It seems quite likely, knowing me and my history of messing things up. If I do somehow obtain a connection to the Internet while I'm there, I'll most likely be back here to say hello. My little idea of Japan is that it's half country and have electronic wonderland. I'll see. Take pictures. Why does everyone want pictures? I don't like taking pictures.

That's just about it for now. There are many things I feel like saying since I'm so used to talking to myself, but for now I think I've said enough. I hope I didn't get anybody angry with my tone. In other news, how is everyone doing? I haven't really been visiting blogs for a long time, so much to do... Sorry! Speaking of which, gotta be ready for work in a few minutes. Gosh, what is it with old people and early mornings? -.- Bah, laters!

Ahh, 2 in the morning... And I said to myself, "What better time to write a blog?" I can't help it. I'm ecstatic really. The minute I woke up and figured out I was on winter break I got to work. It's so nice you know? For two whole weeks, sleep, video games, calm nights, despite the ever so unfortunate homework I must finish before then. So, if you guys have nothing to do at the moment and would like to read on I'll let ya'll know what's been goin' on for the while.

So I woke up this morning with my college indexing books at the foot of my bed, and since it's my first day off I wasn't going to do any stupid homework. I can be really productive when I want to be, and homework isn't when I want to be. I started with the majors. After doing a quick flipping through, I found the section that attracted me most and started reading. As I read I got super excited because of everything I've thought of majoring in, this field was something I had no doubts that I would enjoy. Everything pointed to it, corrupted advice or not. So, I have finally, solidly decided to pursue a major in...Information Technology!

I found the computer section to be most appealing, albeit my earlier interests had something to do with biological science. There was Computer Programming, which I immediately thought was perfect; however it was a basic major, and as I read on needed to be combined with something else to be anything worthwhile. Computer Sciences was a bunch of yucky logic and philosophy stuff. It was okay but... I'm not that serious about studying. XP Information Systems, about connecting people with computers. Yuck. If someone doesn't like computers, they can keep the heck away from me. Now sweet Information Technology, apparently in the middle of the last two I mentioned. Solid enough to get a good job, but soft enough so that I don't blow my brains out with logical nonsense. Demand is expected to raise right through 2016. Ta daa!

Got my major, and heaven knows there was a list of colleges offering to teach it in the back. I had somewhat researched the states before and weeded out the most dangerous or places I would never go. Turns out that worked just fine! I thought it was a bit of a sign that the places with the most colleges were in the most dangerous states... In any case, I wont go into detail on this. I'm just going to say that I picked 'em, double checked with the rest of my books, and here's my top 6!

1. Colorado Technical University - I found everything about the place awesome. Apparently there's more than one, but I'll figure that out later when I'm applying. I really like this one much better than the others, and hope I can get into it!

2. Brigham Young University - In Utah mind you. I'd never go to college in Hawaii. Yes, I know, mormon country, very funny. :\ It's some sort of Christian freak school too, but the education and safety factor there looks great.

3. Bellevue University - Located in Nebraska, fairly well known, looks alright, but everything from here on ain't as good.

4. Grantham University - Why? I dunno. It had the programs I needed and it's in Missouri. Next to a danger zone, but it ain't so bad.

5. Missouri University of Science and Technology - Well, the name is sort of self explanatory, and again it's in Missouri...

6. Arkansas Tech University - My absolute last resort. Arkansas isn't the worst place to go, but it's certainly not my top preference.

Looks like I'm all set, and if I don't get into any of these I've got hecka bad luck or something. :x If you've heard any stories, had any good or bad experiences with these places please let me know. I'd certainly love to hear/read. Anything pertaining to the thought of getting out of this house and actually getting a life excites me. X)

Now, by a series of unfortunate circumstances I now happen to be situated with an iPod Touch. At first I thought this was horribly unlucky. I have heard the new Apple stuff being called abominations to gaming. It sorta scared me. Then I remembered GameSpot actually had it's own little section for the gaming Apps, and figuring it couldn't hurt I went to check it out. To my surprise, reviewers seemed to be quite pleased with the games. I got a little curious and also happened to be situated with some gift cards. Looked for some top rated stuff, and of course Bejewled. (Time wasting couldn't truly have lived within me without that game.) Downloaded two Action RPG thingies, and I'll go to try them once I'm finished here! Since there are little to no reviews, I may even feel like writing one. Haven't actually written a full one in years. Maybe maybe though.

That's all with me. Did I totally just skip the whole 'Christmas is coming' thing? Yes, yes I did. In any case, I'm more concerned with the break. C'mon guys! I'm waiting for that grand returning of GameSpotters I've been hearing about and hoping for! If not I'll be sad. :( If you're off gaming that's totally fine with me, but it'd be nice to know if our previously active M.I.A. members are alive. :P I won't wait for the summer though. If summer's the only boom, I won't get excited for spring. Am I going to finish this off with 'Happy Holidays'? No, no I'm not. Hope you guys are having fun, and can't wait for 2010! The new year's said releases are sounding promising... Laters then!

So, apparently I have been tagged by Ikhzo. (Sorry it took it so creepin' long.) I have absolutely no idea what random things to write, so I'll just keep it basic I guess.

1. Before I was a gamer I was a full-fledged bookworm. The only reason I had time to become a gamer was because I ran out of good books to read. >.> They come by every now and then, but I read too fast so they don't last me very long.

2. My top three favorite authors are Darren Shan, Scott Westerfeld, then Garth Nix.

3. Badminton is almost the only sport I'll play (I may agree to Tennis), on the condition that I am playing under a roof. A gym to be specific. I won't go out in the sun and play it.

4. I accidentally got myself the nickname "tin can" in 3rd grade P.E.

5. My favorite game is Rogue Galaxy (PS2).

6. I like paperwork and assignments that involve free writing.

7. I am forbidden to eat pizza in the presence of my family. T.T

8. Top three colors in order are black, white, then red.

9. I always have something sharp either on my person or within reaching distance that could be used as a weapon.

10. My favorite movie trio is Tim Burton, Johnny Depp, and Helena Bonham Carter(Burton). On occasion it's nice to have Danny Elfman in there too. :)

Uhm, I tag...

A. ab_geee_eee

B. JohnnyWPSP

C. Shhadow_Viper

That random enough? :?

Alright, I'm back. Whoopie! Feels so good to log on again after how many days... Gosh it's been forever. So, I know the last blog was long and that was only a few hours, so I'm going to try to sum things up as best I can this time. It was mostly disappointment, so I guess that'd be another reason to not go into too much detail. At the bottom I have a question to ask, however I know you guys probably wont be able to answer by the time I need it so I'd just like an assessment of the people of the choice I made. I'm going to make my choice a little after this blog so if there's any feedback I'll let you know what my final decision was. Enough of that, here's how my trip went!

The plane flights were long and headachy. Took three of 'em to get there. Nothing much happened. We got there, met up with me mum and the victim, I did homework, and yeah. Friday, I wore all red as usual. Me mum wanted to visit the glaciers so we did that. The cold felt good, but there was something weird. Every time my skin was at the point where it was totally smoothed over with cold and I started to warm up, my skin turned bright red, and whatever areas were thawing really hurt. Luckily for me my family thought I was turning bright red because I was cold, so I didn't have to hide it. What idiots... That hurt though. I wonder what it was.

We went driving around and got on some sort of viewpoint thing. I saw snow... A small little pile of it. It was like when you stick your hand in the freezer, and there's all that ice. I remember fresh snow was so much softer. It wasn't blotted and brown. It wasn't melting a small river down any hills either. I asked if we could walk up to the top of the hill. (It wasn't that far, and I thought I could see more snow at the top. Fresher snow. Me mum said we might get in trouble and wouldn't let me. I went back down annoyed. Had dinner with the victim, went to bed very unhappy.

Friday night we went to dinner with another victim/survivor family, but the first victim had to be returned to her safe house. Their kid was smart. He stayed away from my brother and I whilst we battled. Our step-dads got along like they'd been friends forever. They were cutting each other's steaks, pickin' off each other's plates and everything. One look at us, and you never would have known we'd only just met. That was cool. I split dessert with the other step-dad 'cause the other guys were "too full" (too wimpy) to stomach a brownie and ice cream with us.

Woke up real early to take a three hour trip to Seward. Some hot chocolate, visited an awesome aquarium. Note to self: After buying house, dig a hole, make a pond, and keep a koi fish farm. ;) The boat ride thing wasn't running 'cause it was so close to winter, so I brought my homework for nothing. Ate calamari for lunch and picked up a matchbook from, the bowl next to the candy and toothpicks. Wait... Candy mints, toothpicks, and matchbooks? Honestly, I've never seen those three lined up in a restaurant before. It didn't occur to me at the time I couldn't take the matches on the plane.

We'd been told about a glacier we could go up to and touch. I was so ecstatic about that. The disappointment at that small blot of snow the day before made me very sour. If I could go up and walk on a glacier, that meant I could touch snow. The sign said there might be bears and moose on the trail, but I didn't care. I bounded right up, and when I got to the top... It was roped off. Due to possible "falling ice." ..... That was it. No internet, no TV, no snow, I couldn't even walk around outside without having three layers and a jacket on?! I stormed back down the trail and went into an angry sleep back in the car.

Of course, what's cold without ice cream? I had persuaded them it was tradition with back up from statistics. Did you know Alaska has the highest ice cream consumption rate in the nation? In the middle of our trip back they found the sort I was looking for. I pretended I was over the glacier thing. Gosh, I'm still angry. Mum made dinner. At least Sunday was a bit better after I spent half of it doing homework...

The victim/survivor's house. We left the condo we were staying and went over there with the first victim for the second one's husband's birthday. I found out I had a lot more in common with the kid than I first thought, including a Neopets account. :P Communications are good to go. The food was delicious. Cow, deer, and chocolate cake, along with an epic game of pictionary. I think I laughed a bit too much, but it was all fun. We left, it was long, I'm back, my homework still isn't finished... Now for my predicament.

My step-dad gave me trip money, but I never use trip money so I still have it. Combined with what I've been saving, it's enough for a DSi. So, I could walk 3 miles round trip to the store and get it now which wouldn't take all that long, or I could wait and make sure I've bought my Halloween costume and everyone's Christmas presents, then start saving up again for the DSi... It's a tough choice because I don't know if I'll be going into work before Christmas, plus Christmas shopping takes time, and I don't want to have to do it last minute. :? So, should I get the DSi now, or wait 'til January/February when all that Christmas jingle has settled down? I'll make my decision right after I have something to eat. I'm kinda hungry...

So you know before you read, this is a sort of complaint blog. I just put it under rant 'cause I think that's where complaining goes.

I'll start off on a semi-good note. I finally got to see 9! The Tim Burton movie I have been waiting months to see in theaters. Unfortunately, I found it disappointing. I think I've figured out what's been missing in his most recent movies though. Songs. It's been missing original songs. Also, they always have something to do with the releasing of souls. I guess Mr. Burton likes the new technology he's been presented with, and I know he's now busy with a family and all, but still... His old handmade clay figurines were unbeatable. We'll just have to see what he does with Alice in Wonderland I guess.

First of all I would like to address my distress in taking a trip to Alaska. The trip will take place somewhere around the first week of October, as I have my Fall Break there. It'll last about six days, including the long flight time across the stupid Pacific. Why complain? I mean, it's beautiful there, I'll get a vacation, and I thought I didn't like the hot climate I live in. Okay, true, true...but let's put it this way: I'll be stranded. My family doesn't know I like the cold, so obviously I have to pretend I'm totally freezing in my skin.

So I'll be in the hotel, for somewhere around six days, oh, and one more thing. No video games, internet, and I wont count on them having the channel my show is on. The only thing I could possibly bring with me is a book, of which I have one left. One book, six days... If a 600 page book lasts me only two days maximum, I'd hate to be doing that math with any other book that I could possibly come across, not to mention how picky a reader I am.

Enough of that. If I'm still alive, I'll let you guys all know how it went. So who wants to hear about my surgery? Yeah, that wasn't so bad, except I've got this headache, can't really move around, nor open my mouth very far, and forget eating anything yummy for the next three days. But really! It isn't that bad. This guy really was telling the truth about his spotless record, I didn't wake up until a few minutes after they stopped whatever was putting me down. Nice job teeth surgeons. I'm impressed.

Now's the part where I tell you how everything went, so please, make yourself comfortable and I hope you have nothing important to do for a bit. First of all, despite what she'd told me earlier, me mum didn't let me stay up all night to make me sleepy, so when I got there I was a little more awake than... Oh hey. That's coincidental. The doctor/dentist/surgeon guy just called up to check on me. Well, mum's sleeping so I didn't pick up the phone. Maybe he can feel someone typing about him... Creepy. Anyways, I was a little more awake than I'd have liked to be which totally didn't help.

It wasn't long before they had me in the room on the chair. They took my height and weight, then I went into the chair. Nice chair. Comfortable chair. They asked me a few times the last time I'd eaten or had anything to drink. I was looking at the clock around then so I gave them the exact answer of 9:37pm. They were happy I was so accurate and made a comment wishing all of their patients came with such information. Next they start putting these round stickers with wires on me and a clip on my finger, like in the movies, except I didn't need a special shirt or anything. I got to keep my black and gray skull with guitar crossbones long sleeve on.

So, since the stuff they were giving me first was laughing gas, my mom was trying to find something to mess with me about. I hate it when she does that. She said it'd be fun to see what'd I'd be like on it. I was talking about how I hadn't gotten my flash cards don in the car, how much I hated my teacher for making all the work only 5 points, yet a five points that could make the difference between a C and a B. She chose that to talk about, of all things. I was telling her I found the Gibbs slap (NCIS) much funnier, but she obviously found my distress a lot more entertaining.

They strapped this thing onto my nose, something that looked like a nose itself. Mum was right about the smell of the gas, it was sweet, and the effects took hold on my second breath. There was a sort of cloudiness in my head, and the doctor people were being very nice. One of them asked if I felt like flapjacks. I said no. Then he asked if I felt like hot butter melting down over warm flapjacks. Imagining myself like that was enough to make me laugh a little, but that would have been funny even without the gas. I could feel them doing stuff to my arm. Mum lied about how it made me feel. She said I'd find everything funny, and that I wouldn't care about anything. Liar.

She started joking about the flash cards. I was annoyed and didn't find them any more funny than I had a minute ago. As the seconds passed and I inhaled more of the gas, it felt like something was pressed on me like ten blankets without the warmth. I uncrossed my feet to figure out if I was going numb or something and softly bumped into a table on accident. Too out of it to muter an apology. I told mum I didn't feel like talking. I felt them probing my arm, getting ready to stick a bunch of needles in. I don't like needles. Actually, I wouldn't mind them if people didn't lie to me about how much they hurt.

The dude asked about the flash cards, and I slowly told him. He then asked how I felt. I said I saw rainbows. Rainbows of black, white pink, and blue. They were everywhere, like a transparent veil. I growled at my mom to stop with the flash cards and actually talk about something I like. She switched to my cat, which totally didn't help.A nurse covered my eyes, and the guy asked what I didlike as someone stuck the needle in. Since they were being so nice I held still and pretended not to notice, thought I think I grunted a little.

As they were messing around with the needle, I told the dude about BLEACH, the only anime I watch and what I think is the best show in the world. I slowly explained to them about the plot, what it was, and told them how much I don't like all those fan people who squeal over anime and appreciate Japanese culture simply because of that. No offense to any who fit the description, but the obsession kinda makes me sick. Out of the blue the dude asked me mum if I'd ever had an IV before. That explained why the needle had been in for so long. Next I heard ripping. A mix of rubber, tape, and what I thought to be flesh. Soon, the presence of the needle was gone.

Once the needle was out, I felt as if I was moving. The chair was rolling forwards at a super fast speed, and the nurse people were calmly hanging on for the ride. After another maybe 20-30 seconds, the moving slowed to a stop, and again, I felt more probing. More needles? I thought. Apparently so, along with three more lies. 1. They don't ask you anything about counting to or from 100. 2. It did not take me two seconds once they started the drug, rather five whole minutes 'til I fell asleep. 3. They didn't hit my vein on the first try.

I'm extremely resistant to pain medication, which is why I don't like needles in the first place. That cold numbing spray, it doesn't work. Not on me at least. One of the nurses told me to open wide, and put something black and rubber in my mouth. It was alright. It held my mouth open, but wasn't all that uncomfortable. The surgeon doctor had gotten into the room, and asked me when I'd last eaten and had a drink. A nurse moved my finger clip to the other finger, then surgeon doctor told me the medicine might make me want to cough and if it did, just to cough. The last thing I saw was his face just staring at me, and after a few minutes...black.

I woke up and knew it was over, however I was confused. I was in a different room, pink wallpaper instead of white, with a nurse leaning over me speaking to me mum. I sat up, sort of alarmed as my mouth seemed to be stuck open, which I find very rude. I moved my tongue and decided it was cotton. I also found something plastic on the room of my mouth, which they told me not to touch. Said I was only hallucinating, as there was only the cotton. The nurse person was surprised at how fast I woke up. Said I'd only been there for a few minutes. Whatever.

Surgery took around two hours. The holes weren't bleeding too much, so she agreed to take the cotton balls out, though she looked uncomfortable with doing it so quickly after surgery. I got up by myself, despite the nurse saying I needed mum to escort me. I really don't like getting help from her, besides, I was only a little dizzy. We went home, only to which I found my mouth was covered in dried strings of blood. Disturbing in the least. Mum didn't know, so I ended up washing it down with sherbet. There's a lot more, but basically I fell asleep, my arm hurts, and I have a big cloudy headache.

Yeah, I like to talk in detail. Sorry about that. Hope I didn't give you a headache too. Looks like it's dinner time. I think I'll have some mush. 'Til next time.

I can't say, type, write, or in general communicate this enough times, but I absolutely hate kids! I hate 'em, I hate 'em, I hate 'em, and I could go on all day saying this. I know I was one too and still am, although my take on it is I wouldn't be able to stand myself either. They're so gross! They're like demons, no, they are demons! They can seem all cute for literally two seconds, and the next minute they're ripping your throat out and feasting on your guts! They're slimy, they ooze mucus, spit, vomit, and wastes, yet people still want to take care of them? Yuuuck!

I wish a kid could hate me for once so I could go hide in the corner and be safe, but nooo. Me mum's friend was having another "baby," so we were asked to go in and watch her kid while the peeps were doing their thing. I go in the mom's room with me mum and they start their light chatter, the dad is outside in the waiting room with the kid. I am safe. Alas, not for long. I figured maybe since the kid wasn't in the room, I could barely squirm outta this one. Unfortunately, "If something's too good to be true there's a 99.99% chance it is." The dad comes in the room holding the kid, and they tease me a bit, but don't do anything.

After more chatter and preps from doctors, the dad asks the kid if she wants to go to me. I back up a bit and put on an expression I figured was a good mix of afraid and grossed out. Nevertheless, the dad tells me to hold my arms out and I do so obediently, as I see it unfair that despite his strength, he has to hold that demon who cannot pronounce English words for such a large amount of time. Everyone teases and me mum takes pictures, I was just grateful she was intrigued by the room, and not attempting to goober on me.

After about an hour, they figure I've been holding her for a while. The dad asks the kid to come back...and she says, "No." I immediately adopt a pained look, because this meant doom for me. In the end, I held her for a grand total of three and a half hours. The first leg was three hours, then we went down to eat where she made the biggest mess and tried to feed me juice-logged muffin bits :cry:. I've been working on my toning recently, still, by the time I put her down I couldn't lift my arms very far without them shaking like mad. The second half hour leg she jerked me around like I was her personal transportation in order to see her new brother.

I'm not all that fond of showers on weekend nights, but this definitely calls for a scrubbing. She sneezed on me four times! Thankfully, I have finally been able to start the 8th book of the Demonata, "Wolf Island." I was so happy! In an instant, all was forgiven and forgotten. It was weird though. I wish I had someone to share it with. My laugh sorta seemed hollow all by itself. It was kinda creepy. Ah, though never have I read from a better author. At ease.

If I'm horrible at this blogging thing, feel free to tell me to shut up.

Okay, I guess you could say I'm feeling pretty lonely and useless right now, but I know I just wanna throw a pity part for myself. Ain't they great? Well, I am also aware I'm supposed to be doing homework that I should've finished a week ago, but I was doin' the easy stuff which included an a Teenbiz3000 article about MySpace and a Japanese social network called Mixi. The Teenbiz people tried to make it look like the author wrote the article to compare and contrast the two, but that's not the vibe I was getting. So I got a little angry, that message that said I haven't gotten into "the whole blogging thing...yet," was lookin' at me, so I decided to sort of talk about it I guess. Or rant. I don't like to use that word.

Anyways, the article talked about how MySpace is so self-absorbed, all about, me, me, me, whilst this Mixi site is about socializing inside the Japanese culture. MySpace = Me. Mixi = Us. Now, I absolutely despise MySpace. Cannot stand it one bit. I mean, with all the things that go on there, just, no. I figure I'm no mouth to talk about this considering I'm extremely fickle about socializing, but yeah, I do like to talk to people sometimes. Hey, my family and I were forced to run away to an island. There just aren't any non-backstabbers around here to be friends with, so what else am I supposed to resort to? I like talking about my day, and listening to other people's, and telling stories that relate to each day. Does that make me so self absorbed?

I am extremely annoyed I cannot find my book that holds the term for this, but believe me there is a term. It is, the need to share one's life with others, and it's completely natural. Think about it. If you were confined, and there was absolutely no way to communicate to others what was going on in your life, or how you felt, wouldn't that drive you crazy? Thinking back a bit I think it almost drove me there. Two or three years ago actually. You don't need to hear about that, but I went pretty nutzo I gotta say.

Basically, the people on the internet helped me pull myself together, and now I can talk to people on here like I would anyone else. How's that for phenomenal? Leave a baby alone without care, and it will die. Don't get me wrong when I say this, I'm not trying to put Japan down, but just look at all the suicides over there! There may be a lot of factors to each case, but heres one: The Japanese don't show emotion. It's practically against their culture and ancient ways. I've really loved how they're so polite, but all of those emotional things they create (I think) are a shadow of what they've always wanted to be. Granted, there are those rebells, but don't they seem a lot happier?

Call it exploitive, dumb, stupid, whatever, but do not call it "self-absorbed." Just because the Japanese respect their culture to extremes, doesn't mean the social networking of America is bad compared to it! Yeah yeah, pity parties are for fools and vain idiots, but really, doesn't throwing one feel good? Even if it's only once? You've hit a crisis in your life and no one is around, wouldn't you like someone to say, "Oh no," and feel your pain for a bit? Maybe you want solutions, and words of care saying it's alright. I guess you can say, "No, I can live by myself just fine," and well yeah, I think that a lot to myself too. Come on though. If I could really live by myself at the moment and be totally happy, just why am I here? Just the same if you could live without the community here, what about that/those awesome person/people you tell everything to? I don't know if this applies to everyone, but I haven't met a person yet who can live otherwise. Simply because people like sharing their thoughts, are they really that egocentric?