I can't say, type, write, or in general communicate this enough times, but I absolutely hate kids! I hate 'em, I hate 'em, I hate 'em, and I could go on all day saying this. I know I was one too and still am, although my take on it is I wouldn't be able to stand myself either. They're so gross! They're like demons, no, they are demons! They can seem all cute for literally two seconds, and the next minute they're ripping your throat out and feasting on your guts! They're slimy, they ooze mucus, spit, vomit, and wastes, yet people still want to take care of them? Yuuuck!

I wish a kid could hate me for once so I could go hide in the corner and be safe, but nooo. Me mum's friend was having another "baby," so we were asked to go in and watch her kid while the peeps were doing their thing. I go in the mom's room with me mum and they start their light chatter, the dad is outside in the waiting room with the kid. I am safe. Alas, not for long. I figured maybe since the kid wasn't in the room, I could barely squirm outta this one. Unfortunately, "If something's too good to be true there's a 99.99% chance it is." The dad comes in the room holding the kid, and they tease me a bit, but don't do anything.

After more chatter and preps from doctors, the dad asks the kid if she wants to go to me. I back up a bit and put on an expression I figured was a good mix of afraid and grossed out. Nevertheless, the dad tells me to hold my arms out and I do so obediently, as I see it unfair that despite his strength, he has to hold that demon who cannot pronounce English words for such a large amount of time. Everyone teases and me mum takes pictures, I was just grateful she was intrigued by the room, and not attempting to goober on me.

After about an hour, they figure I've been holding her for a while. The dad asks the kid to come back...and she says, "No." I immediately adopt a pained look, because this meant doom for me. In the end, I held her for a grand total of three and a half hours. The first leg was three hours, then we went down to eat where she made the biggest mess and tried to feed me juice-logged muffin bits :cry:. I've been working on my toning recently, still, by the time I put her down I couldn't lift my arms very far without them shaking like mad. The second half hour leg she jerked me around like I was her personal transportation in order to see her new brother.

I'm not all that fond of showers on weekend nights, but this definitely calls for a scrubbing. She sneezed on me four times! Thankfully, I have finally been able to start the 8th book of the Demonata, "Wolf Island." I was so happy! In an instant, all was forgiven and forgotten. It was weird though. I wish I had someone to share it with. My laugh sorta seemed hollow all by itself. It was kinda creepy. Ah, though never have I read from a better author. At ease.

If I'm horrible at this blogging thing, feel free to tell me to shut up.