Azure Striker GUNVOLT

Gunvolt, which I’ll call Gunvolt and only Gunvolt, try to tell me otherwise and who knows what I’ll do, is a side-scrolling, fast-paced shooter with RPG elements created by the lovely chaps down (down and over the ocean) at Inti Creates, a developer who I don’t know personally but I know they made the Mega Man Zero Series and Mega Man 9 & 10 (I think) and maybe some other stuff.

This Striker Pack (Crap, I’m already deviating from that thing I said in the first paragraph) was released for The Nintendo 3DS at some point in time in a place somewhere on this earth most likely far, far away from my suburban town in Massachusetts. I bought it with the money I didn’t have. It was marked down 7 bucks on Amazon and if there’s one thing I’ve learned in my life it’s never to turn down a deal staring me right in the face no matter how ”in the negative” my dad thinks my bank account is.

To be honest, I really should be saving my money to pay off some important credit card bills. Those are not going to take care of themselves, but instead will take care of me if someone doesn’t take care of them. You know what I’m saying? So, I’m hoping that if cross my fingers and act like a nice guy my parents will take care of all of my monetary problems and then some.

When I first looked at Gunvolt I thought Yacht Club Games made it because their big beautiful logo, that I can’t even picture right now, was on the cover. Clearly I missed that important message in high-school, “You really shouldn’t judge a cover by its logos.” Right after beaming Gunvolt up for the first time, which, depending on who you are and what you do for a living (in my case unemployed), you realize that Gunvolt was 110% not American made. Nope this is not a Dodge Ram. Wait, are those things even American made these days? Gunvolt is far too stylistic to be American. And that’s not necessarily the best thing either, and no I’m not saying American developers don’t know how create a game with style, they just don’t personally have any style. And I’m not saying that you need style, personally or in your designs, to be any good. Sometimes I hate too much style as it gets in the way of things I know and love. Which is why I’m not with the love of my life anymore and stuck playing Gunvolt with a bag of tortilla chips to feed my growing gut.

FIRST IMPRESSIONS AND EARLY RECOMMENDATIONS

If Mega Man X (Zero, whatever) is your thing than you may have found a something to spread on your bread other than butter with Gunvolt hot sauce. It is flashy, loud and delivers so much power and energy to your eyeballs that it certainly must know your social security number.

I get Gunvolt. Not entirely, but I get it. Not the gameplay yet, because that’s actually so intense that I can’t take it in more than 2 hour doses without inducing a minor seizure. While we’re on the topic of “things I don’t get” I certainly don’t get the story because I’ve been skipping through the dialogue. I promise to remedy this in my second playthrough. BUT YOU CAN’T MAKE ME PLAY IT TWICE NOW CAN YOU? Look. If you would just calm down for a second then maybe I could explain that I actually do get WHY Inti Creates scratched their creative itch by making a game like this.

First off, it makes logical sense since GUNVOLT might as well be a spiritual successor like addition onto the Mega Man series. You could almost change around some things (some/lots, same thing) to make GUNVOLT the start of a new Mega Man series called: THE MEGA MAN NEW SERIES! (Look. I can’t name things for the life of me. That’s why I don’t plan on having any kids.)

Secondly, you know those developers wanted to develop their own IP. Why do I know this despite having already said early that I don’t know these people? Who the hell wants to be bound to a franchise your entire life? For a developer that’s like saying put me in chains. They wanted the freedom to create something new. I get that because I believe it to be true regardless if it isn’t. How wonderful it is to tell yourself whatever you want. Like right now I’m telling myself that this isn’t even a game review. And right now I’m telling myself that it is.

So where was I?

There is a rock-solid foundation, the core gameplay mechanics, that is very similar across all of Inti Creates Mega Man games and what makes them so deliciously good. But Gunvolt has the most flare on top of that foundation. The developers were like a bunch of kids who got their parents black AMEX card for a few hours and dropped into a Wal-Mart. If you don’t get that metaphor I understand because I don’t either. What I meant was the developers were able to design whatever their hearts desired with GUNVOLT because it was there’s and only there’s and the story was new and the were all living such wonderfully exciting, and independent, lives.

PRESENTATION

THERE IS SO MUCH STYLE. The reason that jumps out at me is because I’m a person who’s desperate for style. I’ve either had no style or been an incredible poser my entire life. I’m not sure what’s worse. Regardless, I’ve gotten good at spotting style from a distance.

The characters, anime characters, manga characters, whatever you want to call them, are way too cool and need to take it down a peg or two if you ask me because they’re making me feel bad about myself. If I had to guess what these NPCs, bosses and the main protagonist do outside for a living I’d easily guess professionally run their own viral video channel and dabble with Snapchat. Yes, I discerned all this from the opening menu screen.

The menus and the sound and the EFFECTS are what’s important here, they are what make up the presentation and I want to talk about it and will probably dedicate a part of this narrative to “Presentation.” Wait, you’re telling me I already did that and I’m writing under that category right now? How embarrassing. “Hunny!” I said to my made up wife. “Get my slippers, I have to get down to business and start writing things that make sense.”

I want to live in GUNVOLT’s menu select screens. Just like I did with Mega Man 3’s menu select screens when I was seven years old. Time to go to school Mark! Sorry, mom, I would rather just keeping moving the cursor around different characters because it all feels and sounds so good.

If I have to sum up the presentation I’d say it fits the style and the theme of the game perfectly. It’s high-quality and does a damn good job at getting you hyped up to begin GUNVOLT.

GAMEPLAY (and where I trail off and stop talking about Gunvolt)

Welcome to the meat of this in-depth look. And by meat I mean possibly soy because I myself am a vegetarian every now and then and need to make sure I don’t ostracize myself from people who grab their proteins from alternative meat solutions. I mean, I haven’t even written anything yet but I know it’s the meat, soy and gravy section of this in-depth look.

As you start to follow me, read more of my stuff and certainly pay me big bucks when I open my Patreon account, you will know that I am another gameplay centric gamers who can’t play a game if the gameplay doesn’t hook me. One of the ironies of my life is that while I enjoy writing, I don’t like to read. This was an incredible realization I had about myself just two seconds ago and I can barely contain myself. Words are literally just dropping by the numbers onto the Google Doc!

I always thought that since I didn’t like to read I would never be able to become a writer. It was a huge disappointment in my life which led me to focus my attention on other things like cooking, working as a barista and starting to work on my awful stand up routine. Now, no one told me this except myself, that just because reading doesn’t light a fire under my ass doesn’t mean that writing wouldn’t be my solution moving forward. So here I am. And here you are. We are both here.

Gunvolt, the dude who you play as whether you like it or not, is a hero of epic side-scrolling proportions. Out of the gate you got a blaster with rapid fire and a charge shot. More importantly though, you have this ridiculously overpowered skill that absolutely annihilates everything (with exceptions to the bosses) in its path. I love this ability more than free money. Not even free money can make me feel like a God who exists for the sole purpose of total destruction.

Electricity, hence Gunvolt (yes, even I figured that one out), is not just the most important weapon of Gunvolt himself, the gameplay matches it perfectly with it’s fast action and almost never ending forward motion. You plow through levels, destroy environments and disintegrate enemies. The better you do at this the more points you get. The more points you get the faster you level up and the better score you get.

Finished here because I lost my save file. I'll be looking at Gunvolt 2 next.

-The Struggling Game

(Guacamelee User Review)

Cooking is harder than it seems. I'm talking about actual cooking here, not tossing a bowl of dry noodles into a pot of boiling water, not cranking out the summertime grill and tossing a couple hamburgers on there, not dipping chips in humus, not even spreading jam and fluff on bread. Actual cooking. At least for me. I always want to cut corners and I just don't have the patience. So unless there is a new girl around, I'm sticking with a bowl of pasta.

Making a beat em' up or a platformer and have it be successful in the modern day of gaming isn't the easiest either, but there must have been some girls around Drinkbox Studios because Guacamelee! is one of the better Indie games to come out of the last few years.

Guacamelee's art-style is the bomb. Colors pop like a pouch of pop rocks on your tongue, which means they are just as aesthetically pleasing as any Nintendo game's color pallet, and character animations are slicker than Slick Rick personal water slide. I love playing Guacamelee just to look at it. It's the kind of game you want a still of just to hang on the wall. Then you don't cause you'd be branding yourself as a "gamer" and that new chick you met at the art gallery is supposed to stop by tomorrow night and your not sure if you want to let her know EVERYTHING about you just yet. But maybe you're the kind of dude that doesn't care. Maybe you're the kind of guy that's a kind guy.

Sound and music are in tip-top form, if it could have a six pack, it would have a twelve pack. It's how sound should be. I wouldn't suggest that Guacamelee's soundtrack is as catchy as any of those old Nintendo tunes you can still hum the beat of, but this soundtrack is just as good. It matches the Mexican milieu more appropriately than tacos being sold out of the window of a big food truck. And it's not overwhelming. It's not in your ears, more just there. Like, you would notice if it wasn't there, but you sort of forget its playing while you're playing. Though I do recommend, just letting the game sit from time to time to appreciate the goodness. Have it on in the background for awhile while you clean your room. Because you know you need to clean that disgusting mess before that chick comes over. Make sure you take down the Zelda poster too and put that in the closet. Unless you're still the kind of dude that doesn't care. In that case, I salute you young champion.

Controls are pin-point precise and the overall combat system is wonderfully balanced, edging toward the side of challenging. When you get the crud kicked out of you, it's because you made some mistakes and you either need to improve your combat skills or work on your combat strategy. This is what makes beat em' up games great. You feel like a hero when you take down a series of enemies, and you don't feel like you've been cheated when you get taken down for the fifth time in a row. Think of it as a way to keep your blood pressure down. So when that babe comes over you're not all tense and strung out, you're more mellow and can remember all those romantic one-liners you've been saving up for the right occasion.

Platforming reminded me a bit of Kyntt Underground, but not nearly as rich or complex. Luckily, if you screw up, like fall in a pit or lava or something, you're just instantly given another crack at it, not transported all the way back to a save point. Making it across these platforming sections requires a few minutes of thought and sometimes even a few minutes of trial and error, but nothing too hair-pulling. These bits really do add some nice flavorful pace changes and cool breaks from the beat em' up sections, but they're not so good that I would go telling that dame who's coming over about. I mean look, she doesn't want to hear about it. Just talk about that modern Romeo and Juliet movie with Leo.

My biggest gripe with Guacamelee! is the treatment of upgrades. For a game which borrows so much from old school Nintendo games, I find it funny that it would miss the boat on how to divvy out upgrades. Guacamelee hands them out like bubble-gum. They come often and far to easy. Remember that moment when you got the high jump in the original Metroid? Ok, well I do. That was a glorious moment. Not only was it hard to get, but you really felt the upgrade, like you almost could taste the transformation. How Guacamelee's upgrades are acquired feels so skimmed over and unthought out that you might as well of had them all from the very beginning. Unfortunately, I find this aspect of the game to be pretty important, so much so that it keeps my overall opinion of Guacamelee! from getting anywhere near achieving an elite status.

But's it's still great and should be purchased immediately.

(Still to be Edited. Think of this as Early Access)

The numbers are in. The tickets have been counted. The chickens are fresh and ready for consumption. Who's on top? Your friend and mine: Sony.

"Wow Dude! The PS4 is turning out to be just like the PS2!"

Instead of just taking this claim for granted, or letting it run in one ear and out the other like I do with most of my co-worker's thoughts, I thought I would investigate this claim a little further. Is the PS4 like the PS2?

In terms of the first 7 to 8 months sales, the PS4 is crushing the PS2. The PS2 sold about 3.5 million units after seven months* while the PS4 is just about double that. Will this last? Will the PS4 match or better the PS2's lifetime sales? I don't know. Maybe. It could. Personally I just don't like thinking that far ahead. Hurts my brain. Either way. Sure. They are both sales GIANTS so it's hard not to see the PS4/PS2 comparison from this perspective.

Taking sales numbers out of the lemon meringue pie, I still had this gut feeling that the PS2 was such a different animal than the PS4. So much so that I find it hard to believe that they're even made by the same company. I just don't want to compare them. It keeps me up all night. I just toss and turn until the sheets have been pulled loose and the mattress is exposed. Then I think, "But of course they're different. The PS2 was 2000. The PS4 is 2014. Times have changed dude." So I thought I would just examine the games of the first 8 months on both consoles. Cause, games are games. Let's take a look at some notable ones.

PS4 (not including games released on PS3 before launch of PS4):

• Resogun
• Infamous Second Son
• Killzone Shadowfall
• Knack
• Wolfenstein
• Murdered Soup Suspects
• MLB the Show
• Tomb Remastered
• Last Remastered

PS2:

• Madden 2001
• Timesplitters
• Armored Core 2
• Dynasty Warriors 2
• Tekken Tag Tournament
• Midnight Club Street Racing
• Ridge Racer V
• Smuggler's Run
• SSX
• MotoGP
• Sky Odyssey
• Theme Park Roller Coaster
• Fifa 2001
• CoolBoarders 2001
• Red Faction
• Zone of the Enders
• Army Men Air attack 2
• Omnimusha
• Shadow of Destiny
• Star WArs Star Fighter
• Dark Cloud
• NBA Street
• Gran Turismo 3

Obviously many titles have been left out from both lists. And really here, I'm not trying to drill home or highlight an opinion that the PS2 had more appealing games in the first 8 months, it's more I want to showcase live for you all right now some key titles for both of these consoles to hopefully spawn a game centered discussion about these quite different generations.

If someone asks me what I think of when I hear the word "PS2" I don't think sales machine; I think massive gameplay variety. The PS2 didn't have massive variety in its games when it's library got HUGE either, as this list shows it had massive variety from the get go. Whether this was planned or purely a coincidence doesn't matter. In the first year of the PS2 I could play a dark shooter, a realistic racing game, an arcade racing game, an RPG, a star wars game, realistic or street basketball game, etc, etc... And it's not only that there were ostensible gameplay differences between games (soccer vs RPG game), but the variety came in art-styles, tones, color pallets and gameplay mechanics.

There is an ultra serious mood that hangs over the games on the PS4 (with the exception of Knack) like a bad case of fog over San Francisco every summer morning. And like the fog, I'm waiting for it to burn off. Now, I'm not totally anti-ultra serious. I enjoy a game like this every now and then, and it's imperative that there are a few titles like this in any consoles library. Look at the Wii U, it REALLY needs one. Even though Infamous and Killzone are technically different types of games, I lump them in the same category because of their similar dark and serious moods, likewise with Tomb Raider, Wolfenstein and even the Last of Us.

If you took Indie titles away from the PS4, there is almost no variety at all. Just one big bowl of seriousness and almond milk, every day for breakfast for the rest of your life. With the PS2, you had no idea what was around the corner gamewise; with the PS4 it isn't really a secret. I'm not talking about the internet and information being leaked or shown off. I can already tell you now there are more third person/first person shooters, pseudo realistic sims and sports games, RPG's, and third person action games with an ultra serious tone that no ones heard of that are being developed or in the works to be developed right now. We are going to get more of this and very little of anything else. Recently there was an article about Crash and Daxter possibly making a revival on the PS4. Which I hope for, but know will never happen.

Maybe I will be proven wrong and someday this dark fog over the PS4 will burn off. But sales are telling me it won't. The gamers of today are different than the gamers of 2000. Whatever Sony has been doing thus far for the PS4 will most likely continue.

*According to Forbes

From my experience hanging out on the forums and comment sections of threads on different gaming websites over the past year, The Last of Us was and still is the most talked about game; and not just the most talked about game, the most revered game. What's more remarkable is, I have never heard of any other game getting this much incessant praise for this long on the internet, ever. Not Half-Life, not any Zelda or Mario, not Shadow of the Colossus, Braid, Starcraft (insert another widely considered best game of all time here). Sure, all these games get love here and there and brought up from time to time, but none of these titles have ever gotten the daily love of what The Last of Us is getting. Maybe The Last of Us Remastered is keeping the love flame burning strong. Either way, right now The Last of Us is the big cheese, it is the big kahuna burger, and it is considered by many to be one of the best games of all time.

Instead of trying to figure out why Half-life didn't get that daily love (which frankly is impossible because when HL was released we were using rotary phones and thought the internet was a joke), lets talk about the very recent awesome games and discuss why they aren't getting the same amount of love as The Last of Us. So...What are some of the best games of 2014 so far that don't have The Last of Us in the title? Well, Mario Kart 8, Divinity: Original Sin, Bravely Default, Child of Light, and Dark Souls 2 are what come to my mind. In terms of overall quality, The Last of Us doesn't necessarily stand far above or far below any or the former titles, yet it does get insanely more praise then them. So... why? I think there are some big reasons for this and I'll just talk about one:

• The Last of Us - The New Mascot For Sony

Sony sort of had a tangible, animal mascot at one time, but he didn't become a mascot because his game sold like hot cakes or because fans revered his game to be one of the greatest games of all time. Crash Bandicoot was just a fuzzy, friendly looking rabbit creature who became synonymous with the original Playstation because he was tailored to be that way by Sony, sort of like Mario is by Nintendo. As the Playstation "grew up" Crash was put away in the attic, along with many other of the classic game characters from Sony's past. Though Sony found no need to directly replace him, their "mature" fans still needed something to fill the void. Exclusive titles.

Exclusive titles are the modern mascots for Xbox and Playstation, with the very best of these exclusives coming the closest to serving as an actual mascot. Halo is the face of Xbox and for awhile Playstation was juggling Uncharted and God of War for most of PS3's life. In the last year its clear that victor is neither of those titles, but actually The Last of Us.

As the nature of the mascot has changed for Sony, the treatment of this new mascot also changes. The Last of Us isn't just a game, it's the best game there is and its an experience you can't get anywhere else. If you don't own a PS3 or PS4 you will be missing out on this incredible life experience. If Crash once represented fun and light-hearted good times, The Last of Us represents "innovation," "a graphical achievement" and "the best experience you can get as a gamer today." For Sony fans, nothing hits these targets better than The Last of Us. Until some exclusive title lands on the PS4 that hits those targets better in their eyes, The Last of US will continue to get this daily love from its fans.

Since Nintendo or the PC doesn't need to have a mascot like this, no game, no matter how God-like, that comes out will ever gets this same treatment that Sony fans give The Last of Us. No matter how good Zelda U is, Mario Kart 8 is, SSB U is, Starcraft 2 is, Divinity: Original Sin is, FTL is, there is no point for Nintendo and PC fans to repeatedly clog gaming websites with opinions that claim one of those former titles are the best games of all time. Nintendo already has Mario, who still represents the idea of fun, and PC which has more games than any console ever will. They both don't need to pick just one game and raise it up to the skies and praise it every day so that people who are around can jump on the bandwagon.

I read somewhere, sometime ago from a log cabin heated purely by burning underwear that the developers of the recently released Indie game, Shovel Knight, asked themselves something along the lines of: What if games were still being made for the NES today? Or maybe a better way to phrase it is: What if no console was released after the NES and still today games were being developed for it?

When we finish a console generation, who says we are we finished with that console generation? Sure, hardware is the clear dictator of this. Time passes, new hardware is developed, beckoning the crowd to demand a new console and POOF! New consoles are here. Games like Shovel Knight show us just how wacky the gaming industry is though. Technically Shovel Knight (and many indie games which look old school) wouldn't be able to run on the NES, but it was certainly developed with the idea that it could of. More than just looking old-school, many indie games show us that we aren't finished with the old 8 bit and 16-bit era. Shovel Knight shows us that there are still game-design ideas to be expanded upon.

I think it's also understood that when new consoles hit the markets, developers need some time to get used to new development tools. Hence, slow software releases out of the gate. When developers have finally gotten their juicy bear claws around a particular console, for example Naughty Dog and their acclaimed game TLOU, what does this actually mean? It means better optimization, it means less slimy bugs, it means just an overall (pair of overalls), better feeling game. Does this actually mean though that developers have fully grasped a particular console? In terms of technology, sure. But Shovel Knight shows us that there is a bigger picture at work...

To be edited and continued. Work is a cluster ball right now.

Well, since I can't create a user review for Shovel Knight, I thought I'd just through it the good ol' blog!

There are things in this universe that light a fire in my underpants: Video games, movies, chicks, bicycles and tiny logs engulfed in flames. Why these things spark my interest is probably due to a few tangible tangerines (and reasons). Experience is the big one. Experience has no doubt shaped my life interests. I've played Video Games since the early 90's. The developers of Shovel Knight have too, and probably earlier, and they want to use this nostalgia to create a roaring bonfire in my underwear drawer.

Which they have. All of my underwear are now on fire and my bedroom reeks of burnt cotton. Turn on Shovel Knight and your are transported to a time where 8 bit graphics were king, video game soundtracks were catchier than "Hit my donkey butt one more time" and listening to Nirvana got you all the chicks. Shovel Knight is an incredible game at dishing out homage to the classics. Classics like Mega Man 2, Castlevania, Zelda 2 and Super Mario Brothers 3. It pulls elements from these titles and integrates them into the 21st century. It's Shovel Knights greatest highlight AND greatest downfall.

Shovel Knight is a game which borrows too much from good sources. My initial exuberance at the sight of seeing and playing a game which reminded so much of the most brilliant games on the NES would eventually wane at about the half way point. I kept waiting for that point in which Shovel Knight would eventually grow into its own beast, and sure there are traces of this (and the finished product is technically a new IP), but Shovel Knight never can escape its own inspiration. Maybe the developers at Yacht Games never wanted this to be the case, or maybe they did. I'll never know this. And it's the only thing I'll never know because I know everything about everything else, and you can quote me on that.

The issues with Shovel Knight aren't huge issues. In fact, it's a debate whether these issues are even issues.

The relics are a thing of debate. Any suggestions geared towards improving or changing the way relics are used all seem to be drawn from how other NES games handled their "relics" or special items. For instance the relic system should have been more like Mega Man, where each relic had its own limited supply; or some kind of system where if you used certain relics in a level, your progress would be branded as using those relics--a system which would encourage the player to only use normal armor and shovel to complete each level. I've even heard the rumor that Yacht Games were considering not even including Relics to begin with.

How Shovel Knight handles difficulty is a thing for debate too. Checkpoints are far too often for some and maybe not enough for others. Your first play through you'll probably never die because you lost all your life (with exception of stepping on an instant kill thing, like spikes). With 2 life refills and a large life bar, Shovel Knight could take 20 uppercuts from Mike Tyson before even starting to feel a trace of an itch. Bosses moves are easy to dodge and the ways to kill them are easily exploitable.

I almost feel like Shovel Knight is simply designed for the purpose of respecting the great games of the past rather than taking what they did so well and building on it. If you stripped Shovel Knight down to its core( the Knight and his shovel, that glorious "8-bit-esque" artstyle, wonderful controls and fighting mechanics, excellent soundtrack) we have a bunch of solid aspects that are partly borrowed from great games of the NES era and have partly been built fresh from the ground up. However the game itself feels almost completely borrowed, like that can opener I took from my buddy last week and never returned.

I really like Shovel Knight and I love talking about all its references. I just wish I could talk about more unique, soley Shovel Knight stuff that somehow doesn't directly refer to an old NES game. Ya dig? (I had to get one pun in there).

7

Steam sales came and went and with them I picked up a bunch a games that mainly are junk but one game I bought I'd thought I'd just replay it immediately on a higher difficulty: The Witcher 2 on "Dark" difficulty. Not the hardest difficulty the game has to offer but certainly harder than when I first played through it.

On "Dark" I've been getting punished like a stubborn child who continues to drop the "F" word around his super, pious parents. The rate at which I died at the start of the Witcher 2 on dark reminded me of the deaths I was tallying up in Super Meat Boy. It was bloody pathetic.

I've always had a love-hate relationship with games which let you choose the difficulty from the start. I know why its there and am glad all types of gamers can choose an initial level of difficultly for which they want, but at the core of my stone-cold heart there is a wish that developers never bothered with it. I feel the games which exemplify the very best of game design, don't need different levels of difficulty from the get-go.

Back in my day, when I climbed rock faces and wrestled mountain goats just to make it to kindergarten (aka the NES era), you just started the game and didn't worry about choosing a difficulty. Did that mean that developers back in the late 80's and early 90's didn't give a rats about making their games easier (or more challenging) for certain players. Obviously not. Take a look at Mega Man. Mega Man 3 (or any mega man for that matter) is a lot easier when you know the right order to beat the bosses in--every boss is vulnerable to at least one of another boss's power. OR, you can just beat the whole game using Mega Man's regular power blast. Many people have beaten Mega Man 3 the former way, not many have beaten it the latter way.

Then there was the whole, once you beat the game you unlock a higher difficulty thing. Like the original Zelda (Yes, technically you can unlock this mode from the start too with a quasi-password). Dungeons and items were moved to different locations and you would encounter stronger enemies quicker than the first run through. I think its easy to assume this is similar to the modern way of how developers vary the difficulty in their game.

I find that the way games vary their difficulty these days is by upping the difficulty of the A.I, increasing the amount of damage they do to the player, increasing their numbers, removing excessive health packs and armor, etc. This is incredibly uncreative and I'm not sure if the developers themselves know which difficulty is the best difficulty for their game. In the Witcher 2 on Dark I'm far more vulnerable than I remember. Sure, it makes me think about combat strategies more, but that's it really. All I'm thinking is, "I better do this fight pretty flawlessly or I'm Toast McGoast." At the end of the day I'm just getting more of the same with the Witcher 2. Which is ok, I guess.

When I see varying difficulty from the get-go with any game, I'm not really disappointed, I just know there is no point to playing through again just for the sake of enemies doing more damage. So unless I'm ga-ga for cu-cu puffs for the game world, I would much rather see more of Dark Souls type games where developers think of other ways to vary the difficulty within the only ONE mode, or a Legend of Zelda type thing where a new difficulty is unlocked which does more than just add more enemies.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Now, I have to go back to work.

There's a level in the first world of DKC Tropical Freeze that drove me nuts because there is no checkpoint. The level must be finished in one go. And guess what, the platforming is bloody difficult.

While obviously I had to play the previous few levels to get to the one I'm talking about, it wasn't until this bloody level (God I wish I knew the name of it. I mean I could go to my Wii U right now and turn it on, or search the internet, but I'm too god damn lazy and can't be bothered.) that I realized just how good DKC TF actually was.

Sure I already knew the graphics were beautiful, and the controls were tight and the soundtrack was amazing, but this hair pulling level shows just how darn good the level design AND game design is (actually, I read on the internet that Time ATTACK also really opens up just how well every level is designed).

Now, level design is an easy concept to understand. Game design is not. What do I mean by great game design. I guess, the term is quite broad. It probably represents all the aspects that make up a video game. But for me it stands for something far more specific. I see the core concept of game design being about how the gamer is able to learn the mechanics of the game (without tutorials) and sharpen those mechanics as the game progresses.

In so many games today it's really, really hard to understand this concept, from my perspective. So many games today are about gaining skills and abilities and leveling up (or just find cheap ways to get around A.I. ---like so many action games these days), that it's really hard to tell if the gamer has mastered the mechanics or is just some super powerful hero (or some dude who figured out how to cheat the system). Not to say that one way is the right way and the other the wrong way. Just thaemt there is a difference. Look, I wrote a whole blog on this topic awhile back so I don't want to make this blog about this topic.

I'm hear to chat about DKTF. The level I was just talking about, is so tough and you die repeatedly, but each time you die you learn a little bit more about the level the obstacles and how to control DK. By the time you've completed it, though you haven't technically "leveled up" like in some World of Warcraft way, you will probably feel like your personal DKTF skills instead have leveled up. I'm not going to suggest that tutorial levels are a waste of time (which they are--and a blog post for another day), but with great game design, the gamer will learn through trial and error. With every trial and error, the gamer realizes something minor. They make adjustments. They try new ways to approach the same situation. The best modern examples of learning through trial and error that I can think of, besides DKTF, are Braid, Knytt Underground and DARK SOULS.

I can now say my two favorite full-on console games of the last few years are DKTF and Dark Souls. Though I might take a lot of shit for this, DKTF makes the Wii U worth it.

While for the most part Super Mario 3D World has been fairly easy, there were certainly some levels that evoked memories of gaming rage. Gaming Rage was a big part of my childhood, eluded to in my Favorite Gaming Moment #3 and #1. It's hard to explain really. Rage just happens uncontrollably. I swear, I throw something, I just want to punch the nearest person. And I'm such a nice dude, really. And I could never win in a fight. I'm scrawny.

The Snake Chamber (I'm not sure what it's really called, the Snake Nest?) in the original BattleToads was an absolute pain in the ass (if you omitted the warp). Now, most of your buddies probably couldn't even get to this level, let alone beat it. Actually, actually, the entirety of BattleToads is no day at the beach. It's no trip to Olive Garden with the parents. There are no FREE bread sticks in BATTleToads. Just Pain. The learning curve is steep and you will die over and over again.

The Snake Chasm comes first to mind because it's sort of situated in the center of the game. When you first appear in this bizarre space, you're wondering...what the hell is going on. There is no clear beginning or end. Just this massive snake which comes out of the wall and goes on it's merry way then disappears somewhere on the other side. How do I conquer this robotic reptile? The quick answer is you don't. You ride the snakes. You ride them till the cows come home.

There are four parts to the Snake Dungeon. Part One is very forgiving, since there are no DEATH SPIKES. Fall off the Snakes all day, doesn't matter. You'll just land comfortably at the bottom. Fall off the snakes in any other part, and you're DOOMED. Spikes are a one hit kill. None of this, loose one health. You're just DEAD. Instantly. As you progress further into the bed of snakes, Spikes appear everywhere. You need to jump around them, in between them, over them, under them and in the most precise fashion you can imagine. All while the snake you're riding on is moving. And some of those snakes move incredible fast.

The last part of the Snake Kingdom teaches you a lesson in controller breaking. There are moments where not only you have to avoid Spikes, but also grip the side of a moving snake, then plunge into the abyss hoping another snake will be crossing at the same time to save your watermelon underpants.

BattleToads. I'll never forget thee.

The reviews for Thief are fresh of the panini press and now the entire gaming community is disappointed. Well, with the reviews I guess. But since the reviews are across the board suggesting that the new Thief is bordline something you sweep under the carpets for the mice to eat, there isn't much light at the end of the tunnel for those of us who have this thing on pre-order. I'm not here to talk about that though. I'd rather just use this as a great segway to attack a different issue which I've attached before in the past. Though last time I'm pretty sure I was the one who got beaten up worse.

In Thief they're called Focus Abilities; in The Last of Us I'm going to call them...Focus Abilities; in GTA V I'm going to call them....Let me think...Focus Abilities; in the Tomb Raider reboot I'll call them...ummmmmm....Focus Abilities! Yea that's it! They're everywhere now.

Now, before you crank-out your super keyboards and begin dissenting like the dickens, I actually do like these abilities in CERTAIN games; games where they actually sort of make sense in terms of the gameworld. Like if the main character was a superhero, for instance Spiderman. I'd expect to be able to have the power to shoot webs, take a stronger than average beating, get a boner for red heads and have this "Spidey-Sense."

In the previous list of games mentioned each have a main character who is not a superhero of any kind. He/she is just some human being who just happens to be really NATURALLY good at certain things in life. This is what we call skill, and it is the gamer who in turn helps them utilize this skill to the maximum. Which, in turn, means the gamer controlling them has skill. G@mER $kiLLz (I got mad mario kart 64 skillz, yo!). However, for some reason, we have the ability to do something SUPERNATURAL.

In Thief, actually, I hear the main dude got in some "Accident" which would explain how he so conveniently got these focus abilities (Did this accident make him want to steal stuff too?). I guess all superheros at one time needed some freak "accident" to happen to give them super powers (instead of death). Yet, it's still easily arguable (and far more likely) that this accident, in this instance, was contrived for the sake of adding in Focus abilities, not the other way around.

Ok. Ok. Enough blabbering and on to more blabbering. What are the reasons these DEVs have felt the need (the need for speed) to put these powers into their games? I came up with Two REasons. Maybe ya'll know more.

1) Bring the masses in. AKA: Make the game a little easier and save some time. This means, more sales and more cash baby. Then, SEQUEL.

• The original Thief series is NOT a walk in the park. Unless it's a walk in the park with your girlfriend when something is on her mind, cause that could be hell. While they're a couple of examples of modern games bringing some serious difficultly (Dark Souls), this is certainly a minority. The idea for most DEVs is to get as many people into their game as possible. Finding your way around a 3D digital space, especially an extremelly dark one, is not that easy and requires a lot of patience. So why not highlight the important crap!? Yes, I'm looking at you too new Tomb Raider. There is without a doubt no question that Focus Abilities in the games I've mentioned today-- TLOU, Tomb Raider, Thief and GTA V-- are there partly to make the game easier. Just like when you die too many times in Super Mario 3D World (and Land) and you get a free Stone Tanooki suit.

2) Bring in the ACTION baby, the SPECTACLE. I need EXPLOSIONS and I need BRIGHT LIGHTS. Tonight, we Party!!!

• A game based purely on stealth sounds cool but I think the DEVs fear the game will become boring if the only thing you can do is stick to the shadows and cling to the ceilings. So, it's time to enhance the gameplay. Give the gamer more tools to solve the task at hand. Stuck in a room with clickers? Don't worry, hit this button and now you can see them through walls!!! Just look at those effects. The world is now blurry and the sound is distorted and now you're just in the AUTOZONE ready to buy a pair of bearing pullers. About to crush that car? It's all good dude. This black guy can make time go slow and you'll avoid not only that station wagon but also that pile of dog-doo on the sidewalk.

In Thief the focus abilities can be turned off. BUT, but, but, but, BUTT, this still doesn't change the fact that the gameworld was most likely designed with the focus abilities in mind. Now if you check out the reviews for Thief, level design seems to be an issue. I'm of the belief that if these DEVs had to design the gameworld darn well knowing there would be NO focus abilities, they would have designed the world differently. Sure, I guess that doesn't guarantee brilliant level design, however it would have meant for no BS. Straight up, pure organic fruit cups, where the DEVs know the gamer is going to need to get through this without any help from SUPER POWER McGEE.