It wasn't too long ago when Matt Damon and Ben Affleck were movie Gods (...Dogma) for a second. Soon Matt began being regarded as the better actor of the two, and Ben went swimming in a bucket of shrimp. But while Matt's hit record just kept playing the same boring action tune over and over, Ben eventually found his way out of the scum. After a few butt wipes to clean himself of that prodominently cheeseball past, he's now regarded as having the bigger shlong.

But I must say I kind of liked that crestatious life Ben was living. Playing different types of retards in every film. If his quirkiness didn't get me to touch myself then it was his god-awful acting (I think the dude owns the most Golden Rasberry Worst Actor Awards). Ben probably got sick of it all. Probably wanted better babes. Why just be a stupid actor with a few babes when you can be a stupid director and a stupid actor with tons of babes? So let's not just think cheeseballs and shrimp but initiate the plan "Cheeseballs, shrimp and all-seriousness" in three phases: Phase one:Gone Baby Gone. Phase two:The Town.Phase three:Argo.

Sometimes movies (history movies) make you feel like you need a notebook (to smack yourself over the head) and pen so you can jot down notes, not to help follow the plot but just to record general facts to help you win at Trivial Pursuit the next time you play (or impress some sexy intellectual chick). At least documanteries, by their genre alone, give you a heads up. Argobegins with a montage of political stuff and some woman talking. Then after the narrator gets done talking about the ring and Middle-Earth, some stuff happens at a U.S. embassy in Iran (in the movie). Apparantly a lot of Iranians were upset at Americans. Good thing that issue has been taken care of...

So for the first thirteen minutes of the film Ben uses a lot of cuts, loud noises and farts to indicate a high-stress situation is a high-stresss situation. He then reduces Iran's high-blood pressure by showing himself having a snooze in his comfortable D.C. apartment. Shortly after he is asked to participate in the regularly scheduled "let's put a camera in front of politicians walking quicky down the Pentagon's corridors while talking about god-knows-what" government party (AKA the West Wing Style Op op op op Gangnam Style).

Then the movie continues, I think.