Not even going to look for clever song lyrics to put in the intro.  Just imagine the Rocky music is playing or something.

Yes, I'm back.  Sort of?  I don't do the 'big goodbye/comeback' posts; they just don't mean much on the Web.  Thanks to wi-fi, you can blog from a Hardy's toilet stall now - you're never really gone for good.  But people have been asking about me (and that meant a lot - honestly) so here's the short version.  I got fed up with GameSpot's cavalier attitude to their community and the site's technical issues, fell out of the loop, and just never fell back in.  I stopped gaming for a while as well, but that turned out to be a side effect of crippling depression, which took me all the way to a psychiatric ward that reminded me a bit of the Alice games American McGee put out.  Tough times, but I'm on the other side of it now.

But that's a story for another day.  There is far more crucial news afoot!  Do I refer to Microsoft's hilarious used game tapdancing? E3 news?  The fact that this year has already produced, like, three or four genuine classics?

Hell no!  I refer to the catty relationship drama between former lovebirds Sony and Ellen Page.  I thought those crazy kids were going to make it work!  *Sniff.*

Let us recap:

- David Cage locks her up to be the star of his next game, Beyond: Two Souls.  Page is an A-list talent who also has artistic credibility; in other words, she's what we call 'a good get.'  It's a Sony exclusive title, so hurray for the guys that gave away your credit card information a few years ago.

- Sony launches their big exclusive The Last Of Us, starring a plucky girl that is, for all intents and purposes, a teenage Ellen Page.  The girl's name is even Ellie, which I believe is German for 'I hope this isn't actionable.'

- Page lashes out at Naughty Dog for co-opting her image, probably while doing promotional work for the exact same umbrella company.  That is some weird crap.

There's already a kerfuffle about whether Page is just being an egotist, but let's be honest - Ellie is definitely based on her, consciously or otherwise.  I've been joking about this for months, loving how an entire gaming monolith seemed to have a hive-mind crush on a single actress to the point where they were putting her in every one of their key projects.  Ellie is essentially Juno in 'The Hunger Games.'   (Which should be terrible, and yet The Last Of Us is a modern masterpiece, so you never can tell with these things.)

My one beef with Page - her use of the phrase "ripped off."  WAY too hostile, even in the Internet era where every conversation essentially starts with arson.  The character of Ellie is an homage, not a rip-off.  I know, it sounds like a weasel word, but hear me out.  Page, whether she likes it or not, has fallen into a certain typecast, and it's one that Naughty Dog drew upon for a character that shared the traits they like about the actress.  Sure, they could've made the physical resemblance much less blatant, but again, it's out of love.  Possibly actionable love, but love just the same.

This may seem like a comical one-off event, but as we punch through the uncanny valley and more big names put on the ink suits, you can bet there will be more cases like this in the future.  Why pay for Will Smith when you can draw his digital brother and hire that guy from SNL to do his voice?

Long story short: Miss Page, please don't sue Naughty Dog.  They're one of the good ones.  Take it as a compliment; they wanted a fiery, intelligent brunette packed with admirable traits, and you leapt to the front of their addled minds.  There are worse legacies.

P.S.  Ellen Page is Canadian.  Hence, the blog title.  In case you were wondering.

P.S.S.  I could have just used 'Blame Canada' lyrics to launch the blog, couldn't I?  Man, I'm rusty.