I've touched (hah!) on this topic before, so I won't drag out the introduction. By now, you're undoubtedly familiar with the scenario:
1) Mass Effect 1 features (optional) sex scenes that rate somewhere on the milder end of the Skinemax scale. If you haven't played it (or are unfamiliar with the premium late-night cable softcore my generation grew up on), I dunno, compare them to the sex scenes Angelina Jolie used to do when she was starting to become a SERIOUS ACTRESS but was still willing to get naked. And, incidentally, she still had enough body mass so you'd want to see her naked.
2) A furor springs up on the Internet, and then on to Fox News, about how Mass Effect is some weird alien porn simulation featuring sexual assault on innocent Quarians, or what have you. Yes, Fox News ran with a news story started via a blog that had clearly never even seen the game in question. Yes, Fox News is the number one cable news outlet in the United States. And yes, this tells you a lot about my country, and will tie to the larger point below.
3) BioWare releases Mass Effect 2, which features much tamer love scenes and, incidentally, no same-sex encounters. Not that FemShep/Liara was technically same-sex, since Asari are mono-gendered, but for all intents and purposes, Liara's a chick. (Players would eventually be able to continue their Liara romance via the superb Lair of the Shadowbroker DLC.)
And so we arrive at Mass Effect 3, which BioWare promised to be the sexiest game in the series. (Sexier than the Mako driving in ME1? Fat chance!) The results are dicey at best. Liara's love scene is actually pretty sensual and romantic, and firmly establishes her as the game's premier sidekick. Most of the rest involve apparent sex with some clothes still on. Or a SHOWER with some clothes still on. Call me perverse, but if I'm facing what is likely to be the end of organic life, I'm giving my partner the benefit of taking my socks off. Tali remains the biggest offender, as she keeps her whole outfit - including her farking helmet - on in bed. Honestly, BioWare, you need to throw in a Quarian immune system handwave at that point and give the fans SOMETHING. (Hilariously, Tali's long-awaited face reveal is from a stock photo - most people found it infuriating, but I like to think of it as BioWare needling us rather cheekily.)
After my Shepard's love scene with Ashley, my wife did her best "WTF?" face (one she displays a lot when she joins me for Gaming Time) and said: "dude, that's IT?" The missus had no stake in this thing (I'm pretty sure she thinks Ashley's name is Liara) and even she was disappointed. And why not? She's used to movies of equivalent R-ratings that are more frank and heartfelt about sexuality.
Video games are in a weird spot about this. The people who consider them a kid's hobby are often the same people that demanded ESRB labels that spell out, in no uncertain terms, that many of these games are not for children. I have no problem with the ESRB and think they're a fine compromise, but the agency is proof enough that games, much like film, is an all-ages medium. Yet most developers - even AAA houses like BioWare with sterling reputations - have to walk on eggshells when portraying human sexuality. (Or, you know, human-ish alien sexuality.)
Most of this can probably be traced to the fact that the United States is the primary market for most product, and my country has always had a bizarre relationship with sex. (Japan has their own hang-ups about procreation, but I won't get into it here because it's weird and I don't wanna.) We'll slap innuendo and bare skin into commercials for bathroom cleansers, but actual human sexuality? With the nudity, sweatiness, matted hair, and unfurled emotions therein? Still VERY taboo. The Fox news anchors decrying Mass Effect were probably sporting tiny miniskirts and cleavage you could lose a billiard ball in, but that's the line we've drawn. You can walk right up to that line and wink knowingly, but if you step over it? SCANDAL!!! And we all retreat into our shells because somebody must think of the children!
Not surprisingly, Mass Effect's violent content has raised almost no eyebrows at all. Granted, it can't hold a candle to Grand Theft Auto, but you can still set people on fire, push them out of highrises, and blow their heads into chunky salsa with a sniper round. ME3 in particular is home to a lot of atrocities (not the least of which is granting a paycheck to Freddie Prinze Jr.), and as the player, you can inflict incredibly cruel edicts or acts of trickery on entire species of aliens. But somehow, little Timmy being Mini-Hitler in space is less mind-warping than seeing Ashley Williams' digital rack. I just don't get it. When handled maturely, sex isn't scary - it's beautiful. And if I gotta choose between my daughter walking in on people having sex or people being burned alive by a lunatic with a flamethrower, you can bet I'm picking the former.
This isn't a call for pornography in mainstream gaming. Far from it - pornography, as a rule, has nothing to do with real human sexuality other than the base mechanics. (Unless, of course, you've actually met an 'amateur' girl with breast implants who is willing to have unprotected sex with a total stranger on camera in a bus depot, in which case, I retract that statement.) Some people want straight-up smut games and they're welcome to them, but this isn't about that. This is about games putting on their big boy pants and treating an important aspect of life with the same precision they use for decapitation and grenade physics. And more importantly, it's about us regular folk dealing with this subject matter in a mature and rational manner. It's frustrating to play out a romance in the ME trilogy - with some genuinely great writing and heartfelt character moments - to have it build up to a lame, quasi-sexual snuggle. It's just another reminder that this great hobby is still kid stuff in the eyes of millions.